Re: Joke Thread
 

I see broken pipe wrenches on the scrap trailer from time to time. I guess they know this trick.

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I've had pretty good luck with making sure my cheater or anchor pipe is slid as far as possible up onto the pipe wrench. It would have to break right at the adjusting knob.

Back in my logging days, my buddy and I did quite a bit of taking old stuff apart to recycle into something else. For one thing, it was faster and cheaper than driving an hour plus one way into town just to buy that fitting that you suddenly want or need at 7pm ;)

The swivel base for the log bunk on my truck had these pipes built into the frame that were intended for the inside duals of a tandem axle log trailer to rest on when the trailer was loaded up. My trailer was single axle so it didn't fit but those open ends of pipe made a good place to stick the handle of a pipe wrench into. At least we never managed to tip over the truck when trying to break something apart :lol:

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I think the problem with the pipe wrenches I see broken is the point of origin.

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I like this

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:lol:

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Oh man! That sounds so like me. :lol:

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:lol::lol::lol:

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bill

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acc

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air

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:lol::lol::lol:

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Barbie

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VooDo Doll

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Finally one my wife laughed at.

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VooDoo Doll was a good one,, not telling my wife.lol

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Man : A guy just got hit by a car ,I need an ambulance >
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street
Operator : Can you spell that for me ?

Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man : I will drag him over to a pine tree and call right back ..

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This really happened, back when we had our old brick cellphone that would actually work up on top of the ridges. I called the non-emergency dispatch number to report what looked like smoke on a big fire from a few days back.

The 911 operator asked me what was my address. I said "I'm on horseback up in the middle of <redacted> ranch."

So she paged out the FD saying that a caller reported seeing smoke from "Horseback Road." :rolleyes:


(it was actually just a plume of ash from a dust devil, but we were all still pretty nervous after losing 70+ homes)

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Yeah ,,it's funny as a joke ,,but for real is not what you would like to hear from a Emergency Operator

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Our county dispatch/911 deserves its own joke thread! :lol:

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gob

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cat

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:dohh:

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A New York attorney representing a wealthy art dealer called and asked to speak to his client.

"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she believes will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ..... and I think she could be right."

Saul replied, enthusiastically, "Holy Cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary."

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My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. Turns out he's a web designer.

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Very Funny guys..... :lol::lol::lol:

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If you remember Fuzzy Wuzzy, the un-fuzzy bear... I made this version up while walking through Costco one day. My wife still makes fun of me. :)

Izzy Bizzy was a blob.

Izzy Bizzy had no job.

Izzy Bizzy isn’t busy, is he?

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This is one my grandma used to say:

Oowey gooey was a worm
A little worm was he
He climbed upon a railroad track
A train he did not see

Oowey gooey!

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You guys need to meet my buddy...Jack Daniels...he makes this weirdness go away...:lol: OK....back to my corner!.....

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Lol

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-
OK, since we are getting into weird nursery rhymes. How many remember this one....

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean.

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Clan McGregor ;)



Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?

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Hmmm,....this sounds like a trick question. :uhmk:

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Yes. :lol:

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I sure do remember that one! Can't say why, but I think of it now & then to this day...... :D

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Another yes. :lol:

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-
Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life
miserable. The only real peace he enjoyed was when he
was out in the field working.

One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife
brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he
quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of
nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake's old mule
kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head,
and killing her instantly.

At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the
women offered their sympathy to Jake he would nod his
head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke
quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to
side.

When the wake was over and all the mourners had left,
the minister approached Jake and asked, "Why was it
that you nodded your head up and down to all the women
and shook your head from side to side to all the men?"

Well, Jake replied, "The women all said how nice she
looked, and her dress was so pretty," so I agreed by
nodding my head up and down.

The men all asked, "Is that mule for sale!?"

LockDoc

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:lol::lol::lol: I like it!

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:lol::lol::lol: very funny! I'm looking for mule now.....:lol:

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:lol::lol::lol: Oh man, I did not see that one coming!

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Neither did she..:lol: