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-   -   Joke Thread (https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=805197)

Ol Blue K20 03-03-2021 10:30 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 8887950)
acc
Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 8887959)
air
:lol::lol::lol:

1976gmc20 03-03-2021 09:02 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
Barbie

Sheepdip 03-04-2021 01:42 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
VooDo Doll

davischevy 03-05-2021 09:14 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheepdip (Post 8888341)
VooDo Doll
Finally one my wife laughed at.

GOPAPA 03-06-2021 07:51 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
VooDoo Doll was a good one,, not telling my wife.lol

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Man : A guy just got hit by a car ,I need an ambulance >
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street
Operator : Can you spell that for me ?

Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man : I will drag him over to a pine tree and call right back ..

1976gmc20 03-06-2021 09:18 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GOPAPA (Post 8889461)
VooDoo Doll was a good one,, not telling my wife.lol

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Man : A guy just got hit by a car ,I need an ambulance >
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street
Operator : Can you spell that for me ?

Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man : I will drag him over to a pine tree and call right back ..
This really happened, back when we had our old brick cellphone that would actually work up on top of the ridges. I called the non-emergency dispatch number to report what looked like smoke on a big fire from a few days back.

The 911 operator asked me what was my address. I said "I'm on horseback up in the middle of <redacted> ranch."

So she paged out the FD saying that a caller reported seeing smoke from "Horseback Road." :rolleyes:


(it was actually just a plume of ash from a dust devil, but we were all still pretty nervous after losing 70+ homes)

GOPAPA 03-06-2021 09:22 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1976gmc20 (Post 8889503)
This really happened, back when we had our old brick cellphone that would actually work up on top of the ridges. I called the non-emergency dispatch number to report what looked like smoke on a big fire from a few days back.

The 911 operator asked me what was my address. I said "I'm on horseback up in the middle of <redacted> ranch."

So she paged out the FD saying that a caller reported seeing smoke from "Horseback Road." :rolleyes:


(it was actually just a plume of ash from a dust devil, but we were all still pretty nervous after losing 70+ homes)
Yeah ,,it's funny as a joke ,,but for real is not what you would like to hear from a Emergency Operator

1976gmc20 03-06-2021 10:52 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GOPAPA (Post 8889510)
Yeah ,,it's funny as a joke ,,but for real is not what you would like to hear from a Emergency Operator
Our county dispatch/911 deserves its own joke thread! :lol:

richard2717 03-07-2021 01:47 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
gob

Getter-Done 03-07-2021 03:19 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
5 Attachment(s)
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Attachment 2087252

Attachment 2087253

Attachment 2087254

Attachment 2087255

Attachment 2087256









.

richard2717 03-08-2021 08:34 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
cat

Boog 03-08-2021 09:18 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
:dohh:

71CHEVYSHORTBED402 03-09-2021 01:39 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art dealer called and asked to speak to his client.

"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she believes will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ..... and I think she could be right."

Saul replied, enthusiastically, "Holy Cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary."

Steeveedee 03-10-2021 10:48 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. Turns out he's a web designer.

Ol Blue K20 03-10-2021 11:12 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 71CHEVYSHORTBED402 (Post 8891627)
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art dealer called and asked to speak to his client.

"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she believes will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ..... and I think she could be right."

Saul replied, enthusiastically, "Holy Cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steeveedee (Post 8891978)
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. Turns out he's a web designer.
Very Funny guys..... :lol::lol::lol:

68bowtie 03-10-2021 04:42 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
If you remember Fuzzy Wuzzy, the un-fuzzy bear... I made this version up while walking through Costco one day. My wife still makes fun of me. :)

Izzy Bizzy was a blob.

Izzy Bizzy had no job.

Izzy Bizzy isn’t busy, is he?

1976gmc20 03-10-2021 05:23 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
This is one my grandma used to say:

Oowey gooey was a worm
A little worm was he
He climbed upon a railroad track
A train he did not see

Oowey gooey!

Ol Blue K20 03-10-2021 08:50 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 68bowtie (Post 8892152)
If you remember Fuzzy Wuzzy, the un-fuzzy bear... I made this version up while walking through Costco one day. My wife still makes fun of me. :)

Izzy Bizzy was a blob.

Izzy Bizzy had no job.

Izzy Bizzy isn’t busy, is he?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1976gmc20 (Post 8892171)
This is one my grandma used to say:

Oowey gooey was a worm
A little worm was he
He climbed upon a railroad track
A train he did not see

Oowey gooey!
You guys need to meet my buddy...Jack Daniels...he makes this weirdness go away...:lol: OK....back to my corner!.....

68bowtie 03-10-2021 09:16 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Lol

LockDoc 03-10-2021 09:40 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
-
OK, since we are getting into weird nursery rhymes. How many remember this one....

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean.

1976gmc20 03-10-2021 10:17 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ol Blue K20 (Post 8892247)
You guys need to meet my buddy...Jack Daniels...he makes this weirdness go away...:lol: OK....back to my corner!.....
Clan McGregor ;)



Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?

Ol Blue K20 03-10-2021 10:27 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1976gmc20 (Post 8892296)
Clan McGregor ;)



Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?
Hmmm,....this sounds like a trick question. :uhmk:

Steeveedee 03-10-2021 10:49 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1976gmc20 (Post 8892296)
Clan McGregor ;)



Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?
Yes. :lol:

Stocker 03-11-2021 12:23 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LockDoc (Post 8892274)
-
OK, since we are getting into weird nursery rhymes. How many remember this one....

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean.
I sure do remember that one! Can't say why, but I think of it now & then to this day...... :D

Stocker 03-11-2021 12:24 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1976gmc20 (Post 8892296)
Clan McGregor ;)



Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?
Another yes. :lol:


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