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Well ****.. I think my license might be in jeopardy..
and all just because of a stupid state trooper...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike:
Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"
Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."
Trooper: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"
Me: "A car."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"So, you're drunk."
Me:"But I didn't drink anything."
Trooper:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?
Me:"A motorcycle."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"
Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.
Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"
Trooper:"A prostitute of course."
Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"
Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

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We dont get old .

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That's scary!

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Three...
Two..
One.

I would be worried if he had used a Diehard though.....

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Safety first!!:lol:

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I really really hope that that is just staged.

Diehard. :lol:

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There is always this one. You have to look at it several times to see everything

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They need a cat:lol:

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Yike. I worked at a shop that had an engine hoist made from 15# I-beams. I'd've trusted my life under it. Some guys were pulling an engine from a truck, and forgot to unbolt the ground straps. That thing lifted the truck off the ground before they figured the problem out. SMH I guess that tells us how strong those ground straps and those little 5/16" fasteners really are! :lol:

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bulb

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drive

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:lol: Near equal cheap jack stands.

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Best yet A+ :lol::lol:







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At work (Lowes) I was talking to one of the younger employees over in appliances last week. There was a stove there with the old style spiral burners, but in the middle there was a round piece of metal separate from the burners. I pushed on it and it went down then came back up. I asked him what it was for (although I was pretty sure what it was), he said its a safety switch. When the pot is lifted off the burner the burner shuts off so little tots and such wont reach up and get burned on the hot burner. I just laughed and said how the heck is junior going to learn what HOT is so when we tell him NO that's HOT (whatever that is) he wont touch it? Apparently I'm now a monster lol.

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My own cake is judging me...........

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Cruel... very cruel.

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:lol:

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I guess he does

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I went to the Walmart today , and I was there for literally 5 minutes.
When I came out there was a state trooper writing a parking ticket for being in a handicap spot.
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked cop. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!
So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he's so ugly.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on until he had placed 5 tickets on the windshield... the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

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:lol::lol:
No Helmet required:ito:






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I just realized they are wearing shades ... LOL!

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They have Buds in their butts!

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low

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This is ridiculous, it is July 7th and people are still setting off fireworks. Last night, our Christmas decorations almost caught on fire!

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:lol::lol::lol:

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serve

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So much truth in this!

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hot

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seat

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Wow! I wish I thought of that!:lol::lol:

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Honey I measured it there is just enough room for a 360% rotation:uhmk:

So he will enjoy the ride:ito:








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