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these are fabulous, what a great way to start a morning
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Last time I tried to order a 34 year old Escort online my wife got really mad....:(...:devil: LockDoc |
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:lol::lol::lol:
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They wanted $600 to ad cruise control to my work van ..............naaaa I got it.
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I've sure gotten old! I have outlived my feet and my teeth
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, Take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license! |
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Ground hog Day?? Link: https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...9CC7&FORM=VIRE |
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Now that's a good idea! We need a separate good ideas thread.
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Let's see your electric car run the tub!! :lol:
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Always thinkin outside da tub aren't you? :lol:
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I managed to be the first caller in to a radio station to answer a simple question and win a prize. I teach math at the local high school, but I'm also pretty knowledgeable, all around.
Host- "Welcome to show! The prize is two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert and a back stage pass to meet him, after!" Host- "Tell me, what is two plus two?" Me- Seven. |
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That sounds like a reasonable answer. The answer equals the value of the prize....:( LockDoc |
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Mine is the Real Deal. And it is not for sale:ito: This is NOT a for sale add.:lol: Attachment 2155039 |
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a dead ringer I'd say, lol
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The other night I was invited out for a night with the “guys.” I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the beers went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my wife would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with her. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !) The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, I told her “MIDNIGHT”… she didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then she said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked her why, she said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh ****” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted. |
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