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That’s pretty good

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With the cost of used trucks nowadays I finally found the one I can afford. Gets better gas mileage too

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I knew I should have held out. It happens every time i buy something. I could have gotten this gooseneck setup instead


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Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today, I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat" I just say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me.
I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have:
Love to share,
Cash to spare,
Tires with air,
And friends who care.

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...

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Good ones! :lol::lol::lol:

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.
Attachment 2156534

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^ What's it got? Negative calories?

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It's Hydrogen infused:uhmk:

Attachment 2156536

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DiHydrogen Oxide

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Careful, that stuff can rust your pipes. Better to stick with Barley Pop. ;)

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Yup :metal:

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Attachment 2156644

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^ My dad re-piped our house back in the '70s. He bought 16 or 20 foot sections of galvanized pipe and tied them to the underside of his '66 Dodge wagon, and drove home carefully, about 5 miles. Wouldn't be able to do that with those big pipes, though.

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The Invisible Killer

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

is also known as hydroxyl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
may cause severe burns.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Contamination Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

as an industrial solvent and coolant.
in nuclear power plants.
in the production of styrofoam.
as a fire retardant.
in many forms of cruel animal research.
in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

The Horror Must Be Stopped!

The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.

It's Not Too Late!

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I'm not scared. I even drink it and bathe in it.

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.
Be NICE Mr. Weatherman:uhmk::lol::lol::lol:


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I might wash my truck with it but there is no way I'm drinking that stuff!

K

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You know that even corn squeezins is loaded with it, right? :P

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So, your telling me that stuff could make it from my mash all the way through the worm into my bucket?

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Certainly won’t be worse than the heads.

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ouch

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If I understand what you're saying, yes.

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Can we say moonshine?.....:lol:

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OK, I did not understand what he was saying. :lol:

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That's hill speak. ;)

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:lol::lol: ain't it the truth.

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time

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:lol: clever! :lol:

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playing WWF…

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I got a funny phone call today.

I have a land line that I never use. I usually ignore it when it rings. The phone I have attached to it has a robotic voice that announces who is calling.

Today. I'm in my office and it rings. As usual I ignore it.

Then the robot voice on the phone says " Call from LSD'

Really? LSD is calling me? I didn't think it worked that way. :lol:

It made me laugh though.

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bar

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Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

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^^ :lol: ^^

Those last few were chucklers for sure today.

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"A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.
As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.

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idiot

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Guilty (@ least once ;) ).

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Done that---twice. 1st time was directly to the customer. 2nd time I said it to the wife. Got a call from the husband later on that day wanting to kick my ---- for saying I was the one who didn't know. I then asked why the car came to me?? yeah never had that customer again come to my shop. Customer wanted an 'over the phone' quote on resealing a quadtra-trac t-case. I told him about 5-600 dollars, (this was about 25 years ago) He went ballistic over the price. Told me he got a quote for the 'shop down the road' for 85. I told him good luck 'cuz the oil for that t-case was about 60.00 a quart and could only be bought at Jeep and the case hold about 2.5 quarts.