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Age check - who knows what this is?
It's a finger-burner. It makes a nice spiral burn. |
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A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the golf ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Male readers: Please scroll down. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife. Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show. Note: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women just never listen ! |
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Well ****.. I think my license might be in jeopardy..
and all just because of a stupid state trooper... The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike: Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!" Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything." Trooper: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?" Me: "A car." Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?" Me:"I have no idea!" Trooper:"So, you're drunk." Me:"But I didn't drink anything." Trooper:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it? Me:"A motorcycle." Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?" Me:"I have no idea!" Trooper:"As I suspected, you're drunk!" Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question. Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?" Trooper:"A prostitute of course." Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?" Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend... |
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We dont get old .
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Two.. One. I would be worried if he had used a Diehard though..... |
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Safety first!!:lol:
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I really really hope that that is just staged.
Diehard. :lol: |
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There is always this one. You have to look at it several times to see everything
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