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see

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stole

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Your are the

Attachment 2118033



.

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miss

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This is horrible, but I still laughed-

Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What is wrong with you?

Driver: I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.

Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!

Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.

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butt

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Now this really got me chuckling :lol: I'm curious who sat down & did the calculations. Gotta love those that think.

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I'm sure that I'm missing something here but I don't get it? :confused:

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.
An 89 year old Ron Chester was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Ron replied, "That would be my wife.






.

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The human body has an intake port for sustenance & a discharge 'port' for solids waste. The two ports are connected in between. Do some biology research for intestine lengths.

When one human body locks-lips (joins the intake ports) w/another human body, the exit port to exit port distance is quite long :lol:

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So I can tell my wife that it's longer than it looks??

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bless

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Why is a hemorrhoid called a hemorrhoid and an asteroid called an asteroid?

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

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Because then you would be pooping rocks, which wouldn't be an improvement. ;)

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You haven't seen my poop. Rocks would be an improvement.

It's not a pretty sight. :mel:

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Aw $#*t.....more info than I needed/wanted!!:lol:

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Haha. Live with that visual baby!! :lol::lol:

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OMG! You're a rock star. :lol:

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It all makes sense, now. We had a new toilet put in at the rental house. The box showed a picture of a bunch of golf balls, which the toilet could still flush out of the bowl. Paul, did they base their design on your "input" (output)? :D

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No. They would need softballs not golf balls.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday?

She said. "An outhouse'.

I asked why. I told her that she would never use an outhouse.

She said that she never would use it but I damn sure better. :(

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size

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A guy walks into a bar. There is a very fat girl in a short skirt dancing on a table.

He looks at her and says. Hey great legs.

She smiles. Do you really think so?

Sure. He nods. Most tables would have collapsed by now.

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Happy Monday

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^ Well, the cage probably will protect him. :lol: