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-   -   Joke Thread (https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=805197)

richard2717 04-29-2022 02:51 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
door

richard2717 04-29-2022 03:13 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same ****ing elephant.
This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bull**** stories.

SCOTI 04-29-2022 06:42 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 9073103)
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same ****ing elephant.
This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bull**** stories.
:lol:

richard2717 04-30-2022 05:47 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
run

richard2717 05-02-2022 07:02 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
REDNECK LENT
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.
But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass ... And as the Priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and
raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.
The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and
watched in amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz
raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

Ol Blue K20 05-02-2022 09:26 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 9074077)
REDNECK LENT
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.
But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass ... And as the Priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and
raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.
The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and
watched in amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz
raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."
Absolutely fantastic!:lol::lol:

Palf70Step 05-02-2022 09:46 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
:agree:

Boog 05-02-2022 11:07 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Oh my. LMAO! That Bubba..:lol::lol::lol:

68bowtie 05-03-2022 09:24 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
That made me laugh out loud :lol:

EDIT: the post is gone now…

Palf70Step 05-05-2022 09:06 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
...

Boog 05-06-2022 01:51 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
PeeeeYooooo! :lol:

Steeveedee 05-06-2022 02:30 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
:lol: Indeed. When I was in the Navy I knew a guy from Oklahoma who told me he used to catch baby skunks and hold them by the tail, and take them to the vet for removal of the scent apparatus and to fix them. He had a pet skunk; he said it was a great indoor pet. Just can't let it out due to having no stink defense.

Shifty One 05-06-2022 03:36 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steeveedee (Post 9076039)
:lol: Indeed. When I was in the Navy I knew a guy from Oklahoma who told me he used to catch baby skunks and hold them by the tail, and take them to the vet for removal of the scent apparatus and to fix them. He had a pet skunk; he said it was a great indoor pet. Just can't let it out due to having no stink defense.
I had a skunk as a pet after watching mama and siblings become furry frisbees, we rescued it from the side of the road. We had him neutered and descented, and he turned out to be one of the smartest and coolest pets. (we named him freeway)

Liz 05-06-2022 03:44 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Knock knock...


Who's there?



The mod squad!




The mod squade who?





The one that does not want to lock the thread again.




Ohhh noooooo , we better act right !



Yes, that will be all thanks!











Palf reopened this thread at a members request. It had been shut for the same reasons it always is (hint richard my pal ;) ) Lets keep it open for a bit. I really hate spending hours editing stuff yall know better on.

richard2717 05-06-2022 04:13 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
My apologies. It won't happen again.

Palf70Step 05-06-2022 04:44 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
:ito:

Liz 05-06-2022 04:47 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 9076107)
My apologies. It won't happen again.
You know we like you right? I kinda laugh at them too... and well I say the same stuff. Just not here :P

Getter-Done 05-14-2022 11:13 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
3 Attachment(s)
Found It:metal:
Attachment 2191587

Attachment 2191588

Attachment 2191589

72 tigger 05-14-2022 12:43 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
10MM l assume

Getter-Done 05-14-2022 12:51 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Of Course;):lol:

Sheepdip 05-16-2022 11:04 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
On a bus a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read the newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest, "Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest immediately took the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied, "It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly living, excess consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity,, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."

The drunk's eyes widened, but he shut up and continued reading his newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had perhaps been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften with a question, "How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis." replied the drunk, "It says here in the newspaper that the Pope has it."

Getter-Done 05-17-2022 12:00 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheepdip (Post 9079983)
On a bus a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read the newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest, "Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest immediately took the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied, "It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly living, excess consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity,, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."

The drunk's eyes widened, but he shut up and continued reading his newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had perhaps been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften with a question, "How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis." replied the drunk, "It says here in the newspaper that the Pope has it."
Good one:metal::chevy:

Attachment 2192155

Ol Blue K20 05-17-2022 07:44 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheepdip (Post 9079983)
On a bus a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read the newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest, "Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest immediately took the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied, "It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly living, excess consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity,, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."

The drunk's eyes widened, but he shut up and continued reading his newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had perhaps been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften with a question, "How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis." replied the drunk, "It says here in the newspaper that the Pope has it."
:lol::lol: I almost choked! :lol::lol:

Palf70Step 05-17-2022 05:00 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
3 Attachment(s)
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Getter-Done 05-17-2022 10:37 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Palf70Step (Post 9080247)
...
I done my 1st ZOooooM meting last week;):lol:

Way to tech Ni-cal for Me:uhmk:

my56chevytruck 05-19-2022 09:30 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Palf70Step (Post 9075720)
...
that joke stinks, lol

Getter-Done 05-19-2022 10:50 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by my56chevytruck (Post 9080985)
that joke stinks, lol
Yeah I just shared it with my wife :lol:

She did not think it was Funny at all.;):lol::lol::lol:

Getter-Done 05-19-2022 10:51 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
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Attachment 2192848

special-K 05-22-2022 07:12 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Why did the bald man walk out on his bill?




He didn't want toupee.

72 tigger 05-23-2022 05:53 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
Funny

Getter-Done 05-23-2022 06:16 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
:lol::lol::lol:

Palf70Step 05-23-2022 07:46 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
:agree: :lol:

68bowtie 05-23-2022 09:05 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Haha!

Sheepdip 05-23-2022 09:54 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
3 Attachment(s)
Funny Stuff

my56chevytruck 05-30-2022 08:38 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheepdip (Post 9079983)
On a bus a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read the newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest, "Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest immediately took the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied, "It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly living, excess consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity,, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."

The drunk's eyes widened, but he shut up and continued reading his newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had perhaps been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften with a question, "How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis." replied the drunk, "It says here in the newspaper that the Pope has it."
now that's funny, :metal:

richards72chevy 05-31-2022 01:51 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
FB_IMG_1654001820321.jpg

SCOTI 05-31-2022 04:40 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by richards72chevy (Post 9085481)
FB_IMG_1654001820321.jpg
Sofa-king. True. ^^^^^^^^

Palf70Step 05-31-2022 07:59 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
2 Attachment(s)
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71CHEVYSHORTBED402 06-01-2022 11:56 AM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
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Getter-Done 06-01-2022 11:04 PM
Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 71CHEVYSHORTBED402 (Post 9085866)
..
That"s Funny Right There.
I Don't care Who you Are.:lol::lol::lol:

Attachment 2195837


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