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The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network (https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/index.php)

- General Discussion (https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/forumdisplay.php?f=15)

- - Joke Thread (https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=805197)

kwmech

10-17-2021 12:53 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by Getter-Done (Post 8984546)

Attachment 2139215

That has got to be a photo shop. That windshield would have blown out with that much weight. There has got to be at least 7-800 lbs there. Those look like 12 footers. But yeah, I'd have surely waited around, camera ready

Ol Blue K20

10-17-2021 10:59 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 8984911)

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."

I know the feeling...:lol::lol:

richard2717

10-18-2021 03:53 PM

Re: Joke Thread

1 Attachment(s)

done

Getter-Done

10-18-2021 09:41 PM

Re: Joke Thread

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwmech (Post 8984923)

that has got to be a photo shop. That windshield would have blown out with that much weight. There has got to be at least 7-800 lbs there. Those look like 12 footers. But yeah, i'd have surely waited around, camera ready

Attachment 2139854

Getter-Done

10-21-2021 06:26 AM

Re: Joke Thread

1 Attachment(s)

.
Attachment 2140463

Ol Blue K20

10-21-2021 06:43 AM

Re: Joke Thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by Getter-Done (Post 8986431)

.
Attachment 2140463

I'm all in for this one..:lol::lol::metal:

Getter-Done

10-21-2021 10:18 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol Blue K20 (Post 8986437)

I'm all in for this one..:lol::lol::metal:

I thought you would;)

Getter-Done

10-21-2021 10:20 PM

Re: Joke Thread

1 Attachment(s)

.
Steering:uhmk:

Attachment 2140573

richard2717

10-22-2021 04:11 PM

Re: Joke Thread

'I LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART'
A group of women were at a seminar on How to live in a loving relationship with your husband.
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."
The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3 I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now?
7. ?!?
8. Don't beat around the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she??

old Rusty C10

10-22-2021 04:17 PM

Re: Joke Thread

I had to help a friend make final arrangements for a family member .. undertaker quoted almost $25K for a not so lavish funeral. Having burried my parents not so long ago with a similar funeral for about 10K each I asked why so much... undertaker replied the high cost of living.... is that irony?

richard2717

10-23-2021 08:10 AM

Re: Joke Thread

A blonde was shopping at Target & came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.' 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's a thermos.....It keeps hot things hot & cold things cold,' she replied..Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blond replied......'Two popsicles & some coffee.'

richard2717

10-23-2021 08:12 AM

Re: Joke Thread

Well I did something I don't normally do. Last night I went out and had way more to drink than normal. Had several shots and quite a few mixed drinks. I knew I was way over the limit to be driving so I took the bus . Boy am I glad I did, there was a dui checkpoint , but as it was a bus they waved it through. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.

Getter-Done

10-24-2021 10:09 AM

Re: Joke Thread

4 Attachment(s)

Varible Stroke rod

Attachment 2141020

No Blow Fuses
Attachment 2141021

No map Required

Attachment 2141022

How It's Made: Pizza Cutter
Attachment 2141034

Boog	10-24-2021 10:27 AM

Re: Joke Thread

Hey, put that wheel back on there. There's some brakeage left in that one yet. :lol:

richard2717

10-25-2021 10:28 AM

Re: Joke Thread

1 Attachment(s)

fear

richard2717

10-25-2021 10:31 AM

Re: Joke Thread

I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper.

Shifty One

10-25-2021 02:15 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boog (Post 8987563)

Hey, put that wheel back on there. There's some brakeage left in that one yet. :lol:

Yup, still meat on that bone boy...

Getter-Done

10-25-2021 10:40 PM

Re: Joke Thread

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 8988024)

fear

Attachment 2141512

richard2717

10-26-2021 07:45 AM

Re: Joke Thread

There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected
his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad..
The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors
would change underwear occasionally.
The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"
The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear."
He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with
Schultz."
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
Someone may come along and promise "Change",
but don't count on things smelling any better.

Getter-Done

10-30-2021 10:51 AM

Re: Joke Thread

1 Attachment(s)

Attachment 2142276

kwmech

10-30-2021 12:10 PM

Re: Joke Thread

No kidding, I would certainly like a ride off this rock

Stocker

10-30-2021 01:33 PM

Re: Joke Thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwmech (Post 8990065)

No kidding, I would certainly like a ride off this rock

Be careful what you wish for..... that time will come soon enough.

Boog	10-31-2021 09:43 AM

Re: Joke Thread

Bang! Zoom! To tha moon Alice! :lol:
Who remembers where that line came from?

Stocker

10-31-2021 09:48 AM

Re: Joke Thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boog (Post 8990329)

Bang! Zoom! To tha moon Alice! :lol:
Who remembers where that line came from?

Jackie Gleason -- The Honeymooners

Boog	10-31-2021 09:59 AM

Re: Joke Thread

Yeah. Jackie was quite an actor. And he played Sheriff Buford T Justice oh so well too.

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