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-   -   Joke Thread (https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=805197)

Boog 05-04-2023 08:45 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith Seymore (Post 9201521)
Ha! I had an idjit in a Tesla going about 65 mph blocking traffic.

When I finally got around him he speed up, like he was pissed that I passed him, and stayed right on my bumper.

I figured "well - this won't last long". Either he'll notice his range dropping off or he'll run out of juice long before I need to stop.

Yep. He started falling back after a few minutes and I continued on my merry way.

K

Ha. I'm picturing Wile Coyote in that EV watching the Road Runner get smaller and smaller in the distance..:lol:

Steeveedee 05-04-2023 10:41 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Boog (Post 9201615)
Ha. I'm picturing Wile Coyote in that EV watching the Road Runner get smaller and smaller in the distance..:lol:

:lol: And then it bursts into flames. Old Coyote never gets a break.

HO455 05-04-2023 12:28 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: You guys are too funny!


I'm still chuckling over the Porcupine joke and it's Wile E. Coyote too now.

Boog 05-05-2023 12:43 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
Oh hey. This.

CG 05-05-2023 04:42 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
all the coyote talk reminded me of this sticker. probably posted before, possibly me even =)

Getter-Done 05-05-2023 09:49 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Boog (Post 9201867)
Oh hey. This.

Thanks:metal:

I spent the Day at a Pick and Pull.:ito:

I had a Great cinco de mayo:metal:;)

Getter-Done 05-20-2023 09:03 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
Do Ya'll think this will hold:uhmk::lol:

Attachment 2271343

tutone 05-20-2023 10:04 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
I read this one on a camaro forum the other day. Tried it out on my wife. She laughed. She never laughs at my jokes.
It seems there was woman at a bus stop with a baby in her arms. She boarded the bus, handed the driver her fare and he exclaimed out of the blue,"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen"
Fuming, she went to the back of the bus, sat down, muttering, red faced and angry. A man across the aisle, out of consideration, asked if there was something she could use help with.
To that she replied, "That bus driver, he insulted me badly"
He said, "Well you just march up there and give him the what-for, I'll hold your monkey for you"

truckster 05-20-2023 10:08 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Getter-Done (Post 9205737)
Do Ya'll think this will hold:uhmk::lol:

Attachment 2271343

They should have used black zip ties for a more professional look.

68bowtie 05-20-2023 10:30 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by truckster (Post 9205766)
they should have used black zip ties for a more professional look.

ha ha ha

D.B 05-20-2023 10:58 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Getter-Done (Post 9205737)
Do Ya'll think this will hold:uhmk::lol:

Attachment 2271343

You have to do what you can, there is still plenty of tread left on that tire.

DANTIP 05-21-2023 06:54 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
I remember a comedian telling this one.

"I was walking on a crowded sidewalk and a hefty woman in front of me was wearing a pair of very snug blue jeans. As I got closer, I could see a tag on the jeans that read "Guess". I tapped her on the shoulder and told her my guess was about 225. From there I found a walk-in clinic for my stitches."

my56chevytruck 05-25-2023 08:45 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tutone (Post 9205760)
I read this one on a camaro forum the other day. Tried it out on my wife. She laughed. She never laughs at my jokes.
It seems there was woman at a bus stop with a baby in her arms. She boarded the bus, handed the driver her fare and he exclaimed out of the blue,"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen"
Fuming, she went to the back of the bus, sat down, muttering, red faced and angry. A man across the aisle, out of consideration, asked if there was something she could use help with.
To that she replied, "That bus driver, he insulted me badly"
He said, "Well you just march up there and give him the what-for, I'll hold your monkey for you"

good one!

special-K 05-25-2023 09:19 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
...

Sheepdip 05-25-2023 10:44 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by special-K (Post 9207019)
...

Ha! Ha!... I like that!

HO455 05-26-2023 06:41 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
I stole this one from my friend ZBoo.

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'

The boy turns, and whispers back,

'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

Ol Blue K20 05-26-2023 06:50 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Absolutely hilarious! :lol::lol::lol:

68bowtie 05-26-2023 08:36 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Ha!!!!

Sheepdip 05-27-2023 08:02 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
That would definitely be my luck!

Boog 06-01-2023 08:01 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
An old lady handed her bank card to the bank cashier and said, I would like to withdraw $10. The cashier told her, For withdrawals less than $100 please use the ATM.
The old lady asked why?
The cashier returned her bank card and irritably told her, these are the rules! Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a line of customers behind you.
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds, then handed her card back to the cashier and said, Please help me withdraw all the money I have here.
The cashier was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told here, you have $300,000 in your account and the bank doesn't have that much cash currently on hand. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The cashier told her any amount up to $3,000. The old lady said, well, please let me have $3,000, now. The cashier then handed it very friendly and respectfully to her. The old lady put $10 in her purse and told the cashier to deposit $2990 back into her account.
moral of this story....
Don't be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning all the skills! :lol:

Killer Bee 06-01-2023 08:58 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
^ exactly my mom :lol:

best view 06-01-2023 09:02 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Love it

Getter-Done 06-01-2023 11:07 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Boog (Post 9208678)
An old lady handed her bank card to the bank cashier and said, I would like to withdraw $10. The cashier told her, For withdrawals less than $100 please use the ATM.
The old lady asked why?
The cashier returned her bank card and irritably told her, these are the rules! Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a line of customers behind you.
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds, then handed her card back to the cashier and said, Please help me withdraw all the money I have here.
The cashier was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told here, you have $300,000 in your account and the bank doesn't have that much cash currently on hand. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The cashier told her any amount up to $3,000. The old lady said, well, please let me have $3,000, now. The cashier then handed it very friendly and respectfully to her. The old lady put $10 in her purse and told the cashier to deposit $2990 back into her account.
moral of this story....
Don't be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning all the skills! :lol:

For Sure:metal:

This reminds me. :lol:

I guess It has been a year or so since.:uhmk:

I got a $10 dollar bill out of the ATM weekly so I would have Change (For Stuff).

Well, they only load the ATM's with $20.oo dollar bills now for Simplicity for Them.

I know It makes sense.
Then you walk in the bank and as for $50.oo worth of $1.oo dollar bills.
$20.oo dollars worth of $5.oo dollar bills ll for change to the swap meet you are planning to go to. :lol:;):metal:

Killer Bee 06-02-2023 04:04 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
the chase machines in seal beach dispense $100, $20, and $5 bills :)

Getter-Done 06-02-2023 06:20 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Killer Bee (Post 9208787)
the chase machines in seal beach dispense $100, $20, and $5 bills :)

Rhey are getting Lazy around here.:lol:

Either that or someone loaded it wrong and cost them alot of money.;)

special-K 06-07-2023 09:52 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
This guy goes to see the doctor and he tells the guy he's in bad shape, doesn't have long to live. The guys says that's rough news, isn't there anything he can do to make it better? The doctors tells him he could try taking three mud baths a day. Ok, but how will that help? Doctors says, "It'll get you used to the dirt"

Stocker 06-07-2023 10:58 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
:lol:

my56chevytruck 06-09-2023 08:59 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by special-K (Post 9210561)
This guy goes to see the doctor and he tells the guy he's in bad shape, doesn't have long to live. The guys says that's rough news, isn't there anything he can do to make it better? The doctors tells him he could try taking three mud baths a day. Ok, but how will that help? Doctors says, "It'll get you used to the dirt"

good one

prairewolf 06-10-2023 04:52 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
A comedian said there is some truth to a dog being a Man's best friend. He said you take him in to get neutered, and an hour later he wants to lick your face. He said now try that with one of your other friends. '' Hey, want to go to the park !!! '' ? .:lol:

Getter-Done 06-11-2023 10:06 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
Attachment 2273807

Getter-Done 06-15-2023 04:11 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 

Boog 06-16-2023 06:47 AM

Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
:lol:

richards72chevy 08-23-2023 04:12 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
FB_IMG_1692821427165.jpg

farmall 08-23-2023 11:03 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
I read this recently.

A son asked his mother the following question: 'Mum, why are wedding dresses white?'

The mother looks at her son and replies, 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.

'Dad, why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son in surprise and says, 'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

Sheepdip 08-28-2023 05:10 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Did you hear about Fords new heated taillight's option?

They double as hand warmer's while pushing it in the cold winters.

Steeveedee 08-28-2023 06:27 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheepdip (Post 9234948)
Did you hear about Fords new heated taillight's option?

They double as hand warmer's while pushing it in the cold winters.

Hah! Reminds me of Yugos.

Now some truth. Goodyear is working on a prototype tire made using soy. I can understand wanting them to biodegrade. Some (if not all) manufacturers make the insulation for vehicle wiring from soy. Rats got into the wiring on my wife's car and chewed it up pretty badly. So, you have a soy product tire. You have a flat one day because your tires were eaten by rats. :lol:

Sheepdip 08-28-2023 07:08 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee (Post 9234969)
Hah! Reminds me of Yugos.

Now some truth. Goodyear is working on a prototype tire made using soy. I can understand wanting them to biodegrade. Some (if not all) manufacturers make the insulation for vehicle wiring from soy. Rats got into the wiring on my wife's car and chewed it up pretty badly. So, you have a soy product tire. You have a flat one day because your tires were eaten by rats. :lol:

I have heard of the soy wiring and rat/mouse attraction.

On another note....years ago we used to have a couple of goats to keep the weeds down up the hill behind the house. I had a jeep CJ5 up there I was taking parts off of for another one I was building. Those 2 goats stripped the wiring harness out of it and consumed the cooper too! Didn't seem to affect them or their appetite any.:lol::lol::lol:

Steeveedee 08-28-2023 08:34 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheepdip (Post 9234981)
I have heard of the soy wiring and rat/mouse attraction.

On another note....years ago we used to have a couple of goats to keep the weeds down up the hill behind the house. I had a jeep CJ5 up there I was taking parts off of for another one I was building. Those 2 goats stripped the wiring harness out of it and consumed the cooper too! Didn't seem to affect them or their appetite any.:lol::lol::lol:

GUH. I guess copper floss is a thing? :lol: I read an article on the intertubes where people are renting out goats for weed abatement (kept in enclosures when on-site) and they even eat poison ivy. I'm a bit skeptical about that last part.

best view 08-28-2023 09:56 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
That’s a fact on the poison ivy my friend rents them out

Stocker 08-28-2023 10:29 PM

Re: Joke Thread
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by best view (Post 9235010)
That’s a fact on the poison ivy my friend rents them out

That is a fact alright -- they eat poison oak too. Goats are great for weed abatement to reduce wildfire danger. I heard many years ago that when they eat poison oak or poison ivy, drinking the goat's milk will prevent you from getting the rash from contacting the plant.


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