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Amish Christmas lights
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:haha:
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The Label was Missing.:lol: Now I Know what they are. :haha::haha::haha: |
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That Bologna cake made me throw up in my mouth.
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In the millright industry one thousandth of an inch is called a “mil”, apparently because milli means one thousandth, but I thought that was the metric system… They also call it a “thou” meaning thousandths. Oy…
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Get outta here
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You guys are cracking me up!
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. |
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I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started..... |
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I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?' That's how the fight started. |
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One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started. |
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:haha:
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:haha: Four jokes in two minutes! Nice to see you back in form, Richard!
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I'm not sure how to respond. If serious, I'm sorry for your loss.
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