The (mis)adventure continues....
So as soon as I got home tonight I bolted up the left side head pipe as suggested. No problem, the location sucks, but at least I can use it until I get it to the shop for a properly placed pipe.
Then I go to do the right side...no way

The problem seems to be that the master engineers at Hooker neglected to notice that the right side header collector is about 2" higher than the left side and designed both pipes with the same bends. (I checked they really are marked L and R). So, I guess they'll be getting another call.