[Sharps40]

If you build a nice square gate for an old crooked deck, it looks lopsided even though the level says it plumb.

If you don't have a padlock for the latch, an aluminum Chinese carabineer works fine to keep the dogs from unlatchin it an goin out to ride the leg of a Cultist on Door Knocker Patrol.....I might have to take the biner off the latch.

The Bi-No-Key #5 holster for the Colt 1911 needs a crescent moon cut out on the thumb strap to clearance the hammer and thereby stop pushing the safety to the off position leaving me to rely only on the series 80 trigger operated guts, specially if when I draw the gun out.

The Bi-No-Key #5 holster rides best between the belt and the pants otherwise it flops a bit an the checkered wood grips rub my pork shoulders.

The Mossy Oak Camo leather belts with double tine buckels and spiffy camo finish make decent gun belts for $16 from Hellmart.

The Zama carburetor in a Puloun Chain Saw is a remarkably simple two barrel affair that clogs up pretty easy.

Using spray carb cleaner to clean a Zama two barrel in a cold workshop results in mild frostbite to the fingers holding the parts for cleaning.

When yer fingers are real numb and cold, holden em over the oil filled radiant heater ain't the best ider cause it sometimes smells like bacon when ya do that too much.

After ya punch extra holes in the Mossy Oak belt from Slavemart ya figure out ya didn't needem cause the belt goes around the Bi-No-Key #5 holster stead of behind it.

If yer chainsaw blade sticks in a branch, turn it off before climbing up to free it, cause when ya both fall and land wif yer hand on the chain its nice that ya had on gloves and the saw weren't running.

80W90 synthetic gear lube makes a nifty bar oil for yer chain saw when yer out of the real stuff....so does used 10W30 from the recycle bucket.

If you go to Lowes wif yer Wife you will have to buy 500,000 pounds of bird seed cause its real cold in Central NC right now.

Oh yeah, when ya go to lowes for two each programmable thermostats for the two zones on the house they only have one of each type on the shelf and ever frackin onnathem has been ripped open so some dickweasel can decide if its the one he wants cause he's Harry Stupid Frackin Home Tearer Upper and Package Destroyer. Don't go to lowes on the weekend, they ain't got nothing but leftover broken crap on the shelf on weekends.

John Lee runs perfect on the main barrel of the Weber carb with 1/7 less jet in the idle to top circuit just like Mr. Langdon at Stovebolts said it would.

I'm gonna catch hellsbells when GoodWife gets home for cutting down the crab apple trees out front but I told her I would caussa I'm lergic to bee stings and I'm tired of getting stung then having to firebomb the front yard with gasoline and oil.

On the plus side, ya can open carry at Lowes and ya can take yer Cultist Humpin Shepherd Dog inside wif ya too.