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#1 |
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: North Bend Wa
Posts: 355
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You know you own a $500 car (or truck) when
I was over on the "you might drive a squarebody when" thread here (where I found a half dozen more i could plagiarize, steal, copy, and or adapt to this list and thought I should share it.
You know you own a $500 car when: You notice a bolt on the ground where you normally park and you wonder if it goes to an important part You mow your grass and find a fuel pump and an old head gasket You had to re-assemble it to bring it home You are backing into your garage and run into a spare motor You have a screwdriver and clean rags in your purse You take the back seat out and it makes the car noticeably quicker There are vise grips under the hood and they need to be there You are driving and hear clink clank clunk and immediately affix your eyes to the rear view mirror to see what tool just fell out from under the hood and whether or not it's turning around worthy Your half lug nuts have disappeared You only buy gas at a station that has a downhill slope so you can get it started again You can’t buy gas at a station that has a downhill slope because your car will roll away You have to hold on the gas nozzle the whole time at just the right angle to fill it You are afraid you will run out of oil before you run out of gas You buy kitty-litter and don’t have a kitty Yon hit a pot hole and our glove box falls out from under the dash dumping your tools on the road The lack of oil drips on the driveway concerns you You're on a first name basis with the AAA customer service reps. There's a car shaped brown patch in your yard Your car is older than the people working at the parts store You're friends ask where the headliner is The ex-wife didn't want it in the divorce You have to wipe the condensation off of both the inside and outside of the windows before driving every morning You question why you have mirrors because all you see in them is vibrating blured objects You store a rag and a bottle of oil under the hood You step on the gas and the car actually slows down Your boss actually believes "My car broke down" when you're late You're sitting in a meeting at work and the person next to you says "you smell like gas" Your insurance considers a crack in your windshield a total loss Your shoes have no laces because the wipers do You go to buy a bungee cord and ask for a battery tie down You have to smack the hood to get it open You know which tools to grab before you even open the hood A bungee cord is also hood and or trunk latch You break down on the side of a road and you're able to fix it with the tools in your glove box You vacuum your carpets once a week due to sloshing It's always 5:00 (or whatever time your clock last functioned) You get to work and your windshield is still iced over You wash your hands before going the bathroom When anything you do to it is an upgrade The GPS on your phone is your speedometer You have figured out a algorithm for the RPMs because your speedo doesn’t work The engine dies at a stop light because the lights, wipers, heater fan and brake lights are too big of a draw on the alternator The bike on your roof is for back up If you have left a friend or family member at the junkyard to guard parts while you race home to get the right tools. Your neighbors complains about the junkyard you call a driveway You check all the sticker bushes.... For cars Your parts car has a parts car You get caught trespassing and say "Sorry sir just looking for old cars” Your anti theft device is a wire nut When you go out on your lunch break, and all that happens is fixing a carb When you save old radiator hoses and fan belts If you plan to get everything fixed on your list in 3 days, and 4 weeks later, the list is still growing Your young son starts drawing pictures of cars and the front wheels are always up on ramps Woman think its a cute car, but wont ride in it The wiper switch has two speeds: slow and slower Changing head gaskets and transmissions feels more like maintenance than repair You consider 60mph fast Your PU bed is full of what you think are valueable parts but you don't have to worry that anyone will steel them. You don't worry about losing you ignition key, since every other key on your ring will start it You keep a jug of water and a jug of used oil in the trunk You go to your parts stash but can't find anything and have to come back with the weed eater Your e-brake is a block of firewood You get passed by a 1964 VW bus on the freeway You step on the gas and the car actually slows down Your car gets towed because they thought it was abandoned You take the back road home because you cannot safely go freeway speeds You take the back roads home to scout for parts cars You are afraid you will run out of oil before you run out of gas You save old fenders with rusted out bottoms because the headlight bucket is still good The officer says "I was going to ticket you for speeding, but I just can't believe you were actually going as fast as my radar says” Your Hi beams are your Lo beams You turn the key only to smell gas and your passengers get away from the car That’s the 3rd time this week that broke If running your car out of gas in an inconvenient place might be considered a total lose. Ace hardware is considered a parts store You run out of AAA free tows and start using your brothers AAA card You do a tune up for someone else and keep their old spark plugs People you know call to tell you they saw a car that could be good for parts for yours parked at such and such place The officer says "I was going to ticket you for speeding, but I just can't believe you were actually going as fast as my radar says The confused officer walks back to his car and you lift the floor mat and pick your beer up off the road before driving away You walk up to the parts counter and say "I want two wiper blades for my car." And the parts guy says "That sounds like a fair trade." 3 pumps stops it You drive a different car and at the first stop sign you smack your face on the steering wheel If you are addicted to brake fluid but believe you can stop any time Your wife rolls her eyes as you are reading this to her and says "Sounds like they're describing you”
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65 C20 292 4spd 4:56 Eaton HO52 |
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#2 |
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: mohave valley,arizona
Posts: 1,088
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
ahhhh ha! thats funny stuff.
about 75% of those apply to me unfortunately ha!
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1969 Shortbed in progress 1982 short step, few suspension and motor upgrades.getting a 468 1978 Shortbed fleet side bonanza fully loaded 1978 k20 Silverado loaded.currently engine-less 1989 k10 suburban 9" lift 65 nova And more |
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#3 |
What?
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 7,617
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
The cop that pulled you over accuses you of having burglar tools, when he see's the cover alls, latex gloves, pry bar, hammer, and duct tape in the trunk. (True story for me
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Chris 1968 K20 Suburban 1972 K10 LWB PU |
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#4 |
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: North Bend Wa
Posts: 355
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
That's a great one. I'm adding it to the list
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65 C20 292 4spd 4:56 Eaton HO52 |
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#5 |
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,018
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
You have to brake with your left foot, because your right foot needs to provide idle.
You keep red and yellow tinted clear tape under your seat. You've hidden a coat hanger somewhere were it can be accessed from outside the vehicle. Your antennea is bent over on the end from before you hid the coat hanger. Aiming your headlights involves twisting a wire. You've done a "tune up" with a 2 liter bottle of water. There is a box of baking soda next to your jumper cables. When you brake you can hear the cans of Fix-a-flat smack into each other. Opening the door requires a "technique". Some times rolling up the window requires you to pull on the top of the window to help it along. You know that's not a lifter tick, it's something else. As long as you don't rev it up in gear with your foot on the brake the engine will stay flat. That jack works fine you just need to put a board under it to make it higher. If you are driving at night and see a cop you reach for a flashlight. You intentionally made your license plate light less effective. You've fixed a non-working headlight with steel wool while getting gas. You've manually applied windshield washer fluid. You have to roll down the window to open the door. You have to duck to see in your rear view mirror. You have to bounce on the seat to make sure it's in one of the positions it stays in. Your instinctive reaction is to put your arm across the back of the seat when you brake hard. There are several bungie cords currently in active use. All fluids are the same color so drips are identified by touch and smell. There is really no point in turning on the radio it just mimics the sound of the engine. You can avoid that sound by not turning the wheel all the way in either direction. You always drive slightly to the left. That gear requires a little different technique than the others. You down shift to put off that brake job. Changing the oil just creates leaks. There is a roll of paper towels on the seat, always. The defroster just fogs up the windshield. You can only lock that door with a key. Left, right and the area in the middle that isn't either, are the 3 steering wheel positions. |
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#6 |
Post Whore
![]() Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 10,384
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
Hahahah!!!
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1966 Chevy C10 "Project Two Tone" http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=596643 1964 GMC "Crustine" semi-build:http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=665056 My youtube channel. Username "Military Chevy": https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_h...fzpcUXyK_5-uiw |
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#7 |
MOVE OVER
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Warrensburg, MO
Posts: 5,470
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
I have to remember on one car to either pull through in a parking space, OR, park uphill, so it can roll out... as the reverse was out of the car.. sometimes, I would have to stick my foot out to give it a start to roll out the parking space at work.. ( true story)
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No matter where you are..... There you are... Buckaroo Banzi |
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#8 |
Special Order
![]() ![]() Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mt Airy, MD
Posts: 85,858
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
...mounting and balancing costs more than the tire
...you feel like celebrating a week passing without needing to open the hood ...getting in,starting,and pulling out takes more steps than you can count on one hand ...you spend more on antifreeze,oil,p/s & brake fluid than gas ...life is good as long as the exhaust pipe makes it to the muffler ...when the fix-it list is about equal to the can get by without it list
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"BUILDING A BETTER WAY TO SERVE THE USA"......67/72......"The New Breed" GMC '67 C1500 Wideside Super Custom SWB: 327/M22/3.42 posi.........."The '67" (project) GMC '72 K2500 Wideside Sierra Custom Camper: 350/TH350/4.10 Power-Lok..."The '72" (rolling) Tim "Don't call me a redneck. I'm a rough cut country gentleman" R.I.P. ~ East Side Low Life ~ El Jay ~ 72BLUZ ~ Fasteddie69 ~ Ron586 ~ 67ChevyRedneck ~ Grumpy Old Man ~ |
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#9 |
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: North Bend Wa
Posts: 355
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
Loving these
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65 C20 292 4spd 4:56 Eaton HO52 |
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#10 |
Post Whore
![]() Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 10,384
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
You couldn't Pay Anyone to steal your truck.
You have to have your wife sit in the driver's seat while you push so you can pop start it. Your brakes are the e-brake handle. You have to use starting fluid every time you start it. The fuel gauge reads half full when the tank is empty. You have a piece of wood on your seat to keep you from falling through(True story for me). You have to touch two studs on the starter with a screw driver so it will crank over. The tires are worth more then the truck. When the value doubles after you fill the tank with gas. When the girls you know say its a neat ol truck, but the minut you ask them if they wanna drive it they frown(normally with fords). When you try to do a burnout and it stalls no matter how much gas you give it.
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1966 Chevy C10 "Project Two Tone" http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=596643 1964 GMC "Crustine" semi-build:http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=665056 My youtube channel. Username "Military Chevy": https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_h...fzpcUXyK_5-uiw |
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#11 |
blood type; Retumbo
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: next to my reloading bench
Posts: 10,269
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
when you have to back in the driveway at night. Reverse don't work when cold. BTDTGTTS
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Man rule #77...if you own a 67 stepside with a caddy 472 you will never be in danger of loosing you man card |
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#12 |
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Midway, NC
Posts: 3,275
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
You know I carried a skateboard in the bed of my truck for two reasons. One for moving stuff. Works for furniture and other odd items. Two if I needed a lift. Although I could walk better than skateboard......
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http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=581873 The low buck build threads. Check'em out! http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=666022 My build thread Crossmembers CC |
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#13 |
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Monroe,Iowa
Posts: 4,370
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
You leave a twenty dollar bill on the dash incase someone needs gas if they steal it!
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#14 |
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: OKC
Posts: 31
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
when you switch to 4wd only the front tires spin.
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=1987 Chevrolet R10 Shortwide SBC= |
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#15 |
Registered User
![]() Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: springfield mo
Posts: 3,075
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
These are great...and alot of them explain my cavalier
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United States Marine Corps 2000-2011 Iraq and Afghanistan veteran Just living life now and enjoying it and my wife, daughter and son ![]() |
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#16 |
Special Order
![]() ![]() Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mt Airy, MD
Posts: 85,858
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
Yeah,I'm sitting here wondering how folks knew about all the issues I've gotten around on my work truck the past 5 or more years. And,it's worth a lot more than $500!
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"BUILDING A BETTER WAY TO SERVE THE USA"......67/72......"The New Breed" GMC '67 C1500 Wideside Super Custom SWB: 327/M22/3.42 posi.........."The '67" (project) GMC '72 K2500 Wideside Sierra Custom Camper: 350/TH350/4.10 Power-Lok..."The '72" (rolling) Tim "Don't call me a redneck. I'm a rough cut country gentleman" R.I.P. ~ East Side Low Life ~ El Jay ~ 72BLUZ ~ Fasteddie69 ~ Ron586 ~ 67ChevyRedneck ~ Grumpy Old Man ~ Last edited by special-K; 03-14-2014 at 10:02 AM. |
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#17 |
Designated Grumpy Old Man
![]() Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: arlington, washington usa
Posts: 3,092
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
When you break down in high crime area and leave the keys in it and sign the title and come back a month later finding it untouched. Happened to a friend of mine.
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story 71 Chev 1/2 ton 4X4 LWB Fleetside SOLD http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=361222 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LgREwtDfaA 68 Chev 1 ton flat bed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bO8szzlD4A 56 Chev Handyman Wagon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y-6ddpBTkM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbLzZ7zY8wA 56 Chev Belair http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=410667 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoW0Ei7ZNIg |
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#18 |
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: south dakota
Posts: 1,893
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
... Black electrical tape fixes(covers) the check engine light. ... 87 Olds 4 cyl.
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eat,work,spend,sleep,repeat. |
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#19 |
MOVE OVER
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Warrensburg, MO
Posts: 5,470
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
well,, my daughter's $500 car just went down.. got it towed home.. guess the seal was worse then I thought, no oil on dipstick,, and lots on back side of engine.. 95 Neon.. added 3 quarts.. just to check,, got fluid on dipstick, she started right up.. but sounded like a pile driver...
![]() so now have to decide what to do with it.. ..
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No matter where you are..... There you are... Buckaroo Banzi |
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#20 | |
blood type; Retumbo
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: next to my reloading bench
Posts: 10,269
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
Quote:
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Man rule #77...if you own a 67 stepside with a caddy 472 you will never be in danger of loosing you man card |
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#21 |
MOVE OVER
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Warrensburg, MO
Posts: 5,470
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
car has a very loud knock in the bottom end.. sounds like it will throw something through the side....
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No matter where you are..... There you are... Buckaroo Banzi |
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#22 | |
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: North Bend Wa
Posts: 355
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
Quote:
I think this makes it a "Your car isn't worth $500 when..." qualifier Best wishes with that
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65 C20 292 4spd 4:56 Eaton HO52 |
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#23 |
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: NW-Ohio
Posts: 2,525
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
never paid more then $800 for a car, best ones cost me $250 or less.
Both Wagon and Firebird have given me 13-15 years of service. Only my motorcycle cost $1200 Best one, paid $185 for a pinto, drove it a while, sold it for $400, bought 68 Galaxy with that $400, drove it a while, traded Galaxy for a 9 sec drag bike, rode it, blew it up, rebuilt it, sold it not running $900
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#24 |
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Midway, NC
Posts: 3,275
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Re: You now you own a $500 car (or truck) when
^^^^Makes me think of the time I bought a '1980 Mazda GLC for 250 bucks. I drove it everywhere and did just about everything in it. Took it off roading and ditch hopping. I was at work and heard someone say " I can't believe I did that." I looked around the corner and the lady I worked with had backed into my car. Put a softball size dent in her rear fender of her truck. I went to leave for home that night and my tire was flat on the other side.....Then I let mom take the car about a week later to work and it spun a rod. I parked it. Friend of mine wanted the car real bad. I told him it was junk he insisted it wasn't. So I sold it to him for 250. He drove it for exactly one day and threw a rod out the side of the block. Oh well.
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http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=581873 The low buck build threads. Check'em out! http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=666022 My build thread Crossmembers CC |
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