Joke Thread - Page 47 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

**Steeveedee** · 12-29-2021, 03:59 PM

I managed to be the first caller in to a radio station to answer a simple question and win a prize. I teach math at the local high school, but I'm also pretty knowledgeable, all around.

Host- "Welcome to show! The prize is two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert and a back stage pass to meet him, after!"

Host- "Tell me, what is two plus two?"

Me- Seven.

**LockDoc** · 12-29-2021, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

I managed to be the first caller in to a radio station to answer a simple question and win a prize. I teach math at the local high school, but I'm also pretty knowledgeable, all around.

Host- "Welcome to show! The prize is two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert and a back stage pass to meet him, after!"

Host- "Tell me, what is two plus two?"

Me- Seven.

That sounds like a reasonable answer. The answer equals the value of the prize....

LockDoc

**richard2717** · 12-30-2021, 11:09 AM

fraud

**Ol Blue K20** · 12-30-2021, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

fraud

Yep, it's hard to tell them apart!

truckster · 12-30-2021, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

fraud

I'll be right back... I'm just going to check something in the garage...

**Getter-Done** · 12-30-2021, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

fraud

Thanks for posting

Mine is the Real Deal.

And it is not for sale

This is NOT a for sale add.

my56chevytruck · 12-31-2021, 10:30 AM

a dead ringer I'd say, lol

**Getter-Done** · 12-31-2021, 10:57 AM

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**richard2717** · 12-31-2021, 04:21 PM

hoot

**richard2717** · 12-31-2021, 06:27 PM

The other night I was invited out for a night with the “guys.” I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the beers went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my wife would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with her. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, I told her “MIDNIGHT”… she didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then she said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked her why, she said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh ****” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

**Steeveedee** · 12-31-2021, 07:17 PM

.....

**68bowtie** · 12-31-2021, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

The other night I was invited out for a night with the “guys.” I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the beers went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my wife would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with her. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, I told her “MIDNIGHT”… she didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then she said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked her why, she said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh ****” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

That’s pretty good

**richard2717** · 01-03-2022, 09:43 AM

With the cost of used trucks nowadays I finally found the one I can afford. Gets better gas mileage too

.

**richard2717** · 01-03-2022, 11:44 AM

I knew I should have held out. It happens every time i buy something. I could have gotten this gooseneck setup instead

.

**richard2717** · 01-03-2022, 01:10 PM

Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today, I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat" I just say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me.
I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have:
Love to share,
Cash to spare,
Tires with air,
And friends who care.

CG · 01-03-2022, 09:45 PM

...

**Ol Blue K20** · 01-04-2022, 09:31 AM

Good ones!

**Getter-Done** · 01-07-2022, 08:11 PM

.

**Steeveedee** · 01-07-2022, 08:15 PM

^ What's it got? Negative calories?

**Getter-Done** · 01-07-2022, 08:21 PM

It's Hydrogen infused

**kwmech** · 01-08-2022, 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Getter-Done

It's Hydrogen infused

Attachment 2156536

DiHydrogen Oxide

**Stocker** · 01-08-2022, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwmech

DiHydrogen Oxide

Careful, that stuff can rust your pipes. Better to stick with Barley Pop.

**Ol Blue K20** · 01-08-2022, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stocker

Careful, that stuff can rust your pipes. Better to stick with Barley Pop.

Yup

**Getter-Done** · 01-08-2022, 12:40 PM

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**Steeveedee** · 01-08-2022, 12:46 PM

^ My dad re-piped our house back in the '70s. He bought 16 or 20 foot sections of galvanized pipe and tied them to the underside of his '66 Dodge wagon, and drove home carefully, about 5 miles. Wouldn't be able to do that with those big pipes, though.

12-29-2021, 03:59 PM	#1151
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,708	Re: Joke Thread I managed to be the first caller in to a radio station to answer a simple question and win a prize. I teach math at the local high school, but I'm also pretty knowledgeable, all around. Host- "Welcome to show! The prize is two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert and a back stage pass to meet him, after!" Host- "Tell me, what is two plus two?" Me- Seven. __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

12-30-2021, 11:09 AM	#1153
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,135	Re: Joke Thread fraud Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

12-31-2021, 10:30 AM	#1157
my56chevytruck Registered User Join Date: Feb 2016 Location: Hebron Posts: 1,153	Re: Joke Thread a dead ringer I'd say, lol __________________ RUBBER DOWN AND HIT THE ROAD!!! 1940 Ford Dlx Coupe 1969 Mach1

12-31-2021, 10:57 AM	#1158
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,429	Re: Joke Thread __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

12-31-2021, 04:21 PM	#1159
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,135	Re: Joke Thread hoot Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

12-31-2021, 06:27 PM	#1160
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,135	Re: Joke Thread The other night I was invited out for a night with the “guys.” I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the beers went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my wife would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with her. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !) The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, I told her “MIDNIGHT”… she didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then she said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked her why, she said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh **” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted. __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts** Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

12-31-2021, 07:17 PM	#1161
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,708	Re: Joke Thread ..... Attached Images __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

01-03-2022, 09:43 AM	#1163
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,135	Re: Joke Thread With the cost of used trucks nowadays I finally found the one I can afford. Gets better gas mileage too . Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

01-03-2022, 11:44 AM	#1164
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,135	Re: Joke Thread I knew I should have held out. It happens every time i buy something. I could have gotten this gooseneck setup instead . Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

01-03-2022, 01:10 PM	#1165
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,135	Re: Joke Thread Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today, I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look. I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it. When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat" I just say, "No, it's for company!" Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance." The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble. Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs" Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved. Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable. Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. May you always have: Love to share, Cash to spare, Tires with air, And friends who care. __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

01-03-2022, 09:45 PM	#1166
CG BlahBlahBlah Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Wa. Posts: 20,033	Re: Joke Thread ... Attached Images __________________ … … … … … … … … ... … … … … … … … … … … …

01-04-2022, 09:31 AM	#1167
Ol Blue K20 Proprietor of Dale's Corner Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Vacaville , CA Posts: 16,245	Re: Joke Thread Good ones! __________________ "Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man R.I.P. FleetsidePaul

01-07-2022, 08:11 PM	#1168
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,429	Re: Joke Thread . __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

01-07-2022, 08:15 PM	#1169
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,708	Re: Joke Thread ^ What's it got? Negative calories? __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

01-07-2022, 08:21 PM	#1170
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,429	Re: Joke Thread It's Hydrogen infused __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build



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01-08-2022, 12:40 PM	#1174
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,429	Re: Joke Thread __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

01-08-2022, 12:46 PM	#1175
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,708	Re: Joke Thread ^ My dad re-piped our house back in the '70s. He bought 16 or 20 foot sections of galvanized pipe and tied them to the underside of his '66 Dodge wagon, and drove home carefully, about 5 miles. Wouldn't be able to do that with those big pipes, though. __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

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