Old guy sayings, - Page 3 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

68Stepbed · 10-04-2005, 08:24 PM

That's about as interesting as a fart in church.

sleepyboy · 10-04-2005, 08:35 PM

When I would ask my mom who she was talking to on the phone: What are you "Who-ing" for, your feet don't fit on a branch

Dad would say, put lipstick on a pig, still a pig..OR put frosting on dogsh##, still isn't gonna taste like steak.

OR If you cannot get it done by midnight, probably aint worth doing.

cochran63 · 10-04-2005, 08:43 PM

My dad always tells me this when I jack something up "I don't call you son because your bright, I call you son because you are mine"

79C10 · 10-04-2005, 09:36 PM

These are my uncles favorites

your about as bright as a burnt out light bulb

and

Shes Meaner than a Junk Yard Dog

1972ChevyCheyenne · 10-04-2005, 09:47 PM

When things aren't going so well grandpa always says
"Well ain't that enough to piss off the good humor man"

*FUNMUDDER* · 10-04-2005, 09:58 PM

If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose.
DANG PECKERHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats all I can think of for now, all the other ones on here I have already heard......

Botietruck · 10-04-2005, 09:58 PM

"Don't that jar your preserves?"

"I ain't bad, but the bad don't mess with me"

jcueckert13 · 10-04-2005, 11:14 PM

"thats as useless as tits on a boar hog"
"knock that over a RCH(red c... hair)"

Americanrider · 10-05-2005, 03:56 AM

You drive the old people S**** (make love) SLOW & SLOPPY!

Beauty is only a light switch away

Happier than a faggot in a tree full of D**** (richards)

Happier than a lesi with a bag full 'o dildos & new batteries

Your so dumb the only thing you can use is a chem light... cuz' you have to break it to make it work!

The only thing I trust you to drive is my wheel-barrow... and thats' insured!

A old Army saying "You do a lot of standing around, one thumb in your mouth and one in your arse.... and then wait for somebody to say SWITCH!"

Alan Potter · 10-05-2005, 08:19 AM

How about one for those who drive really slow...."he's got nowhere to go and all day to get there"

1969 C/K CST · 10-05-2005, 08:33 AM

Are you griping or complaining?

Old Yeller 1970 · 10-05-2005, 10:04 AM

She fell through the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

You ain't got the sense God gave to a head of cabbage. (From Mama on 'Mama's Family')

One of my best friend's is, "I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure."

Young Biff in 'Back to the Future II', "Hey gramps, why don't you make like a tree and get out of here".
Old Biff, (whacks Young Biff on the back of the head) "It's 'leave' you morron. You sound like an idiot when you say that".

panhandler62 · 10-05-2005, 10:23 AM

There have been so many I don't know if I missed some....

1. Who pissed in your Wheaties? (also Cornflakes)
2. Don't get your panties in a wad. (or twist)
3. Happier than a retard in a room full of bouncy balls (credit Larry the Cable Guy)

Putter · 10-05-2005, 10:27 AM

"I think I could $#!T through a screen door and not touch a wire"
"He ain't the brightest bulb in the lamp, is he?"

If you happen to fart just before someone walks up, and they mention it.....tell them
"Sorry. I wasn't expecting company"

"Man it's hot. I'm sweatin' like an inmate up for parole!"
"That boy couldn't drive a stick-horse.....he'd back up and break the tail"

A mechanic once got me good....while holding his hands out, he asked....
"Are your hands cleaner than mine?"
(Comparing the two, I replied) "Yes sir"
(He goes...) "Good. Scratch my balls for me!"

"You know what it feels like when you have to pee...REALLLLY bad? Good, feel me and see if I need to pee really bad!"

gr8scott51 · 10-05-2005, 10:37 AM

So poor I can't pay attention.

The lights on but nobodys home.

You're just not right.

mingoman · 10-05-2005, 10:59 AM

"People in hell want ice water" "Sh%# fire and save the matches"

Putter · 10-05-2005, 11:55 AM

I'm so hungry, I could eat the ass end out of a menstrual skunk!

redhead69 · 10-05-2005, 12:06 PM

I took my vent windows to a glass shop to have my new rubber installed.. handed him the Precision 4pc rubber kit.. he said- "these aughta fit like a sock on a chicken"
Needless to say the glass pros are not impressed with Precision products but I have been saying that for days now!

1969 C/K CST · 10-05-2005, 02:06 PM

When needing to get the point across-You talk to the horses head not the horses a%*.

Mongo · 10-05-2005, 02:19 PM

Hey boy did some one squeez your head? then Why is there **** comming out of your mouth.

1969 C/K CST · 10-05-2005, 02:23 PM

Stubborn as a mule.

panhandler62 · 10-05-2005, 02:29 PM

1. You could eff up a wet dream
2. That boy's about two tacos short of a combination plate
3. He could sell catsup popsicles to a woman in a white fur coat (from Tommy Boy)

sneakysnake · 10-05-2005, 03:44 PM

If you cant run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.

His elevator doesnt go all the way to the top.

Much smarter now,( after doing something dumb that usually hurt)

1969 C/K CST · 10-05-2005, 03:53 PM

Someone looking around for a misplaced tool(etc.) When they finally remember where they put it or find it. Good coment-Just use that one.

1969 C/K CST · 10-05-2005, 04:03 PM

Comment by my father-in-law while we watched a horse de-nutting.(otherwise known as brain surgery) Switching him from a** to grass.

10-04-2005, 08:24 PM	#51
68Stepbed Registered User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: 10-Uh-See Posts: 5,609	That's about as interesting as a fart in church. __________________ Matt 68 C10 stepside, LS1/700R4, TCI Engineering suspension system

10-04-2005, 08:43 PM	#53
cochran63 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,057	My dad always tells me this when I jack something up "I don't call you son because your bright, I call you son because you are mine" __________________ Youth soon passes away, but immaturity can last a life time.

10-04-2005, 09:58 PM	#57
Botietruck '71 chevy s.bed/s.side Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Chesapeake, VA Posts: 1,571	"Don't that jar your preserves?" "I ain't bad, but the bad don't mess with me" __________________ STILL PLAYS WITH CARS...AND TRUCKS!! Parents! Be good to your kids...they get to choose your nursing home! 250 I-6 with a 3 speed Saginaw and Borg Warner Overdrive...She's got overdrive!

10-05-2005, 08:19 AM	#60
Alan Potter Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Northwest Ohio Posts: 162	How about one for those who drive really slow...."he's got nowhere to go and all day to get there" __________________ '12 Silverado Crew Cab 4x4 '05 Silverado SWB '67 Chevrolet CST 2wd '49 Willys Jeepster

10-05-2005, 08:33 AM	#61
1969 C/K CST A.K.A- Crummy Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: NC foothills Posts: 3,025	Are you griping or complaining? __________________ 2003 Silverado Z71 Are fishermen all liars?

10-04-2005, 08:35 PM	#52
sleepyboy '69 Step Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Marion, Texas Posts: 722	When I would ask my mom who she was talking to on the phone: What are you "Who-ing" for, your feet don't fit on a branch Dad would say, put lipstick on a pig, still a pig..OR put frosting on dogsh##, still isn't gonna taste like steak. OR If you cannot get it done by midnight, probably aint worth doing.

10-04-2005, 09:36 PM	#54
79C10 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Northern Vermont Posts: 159	These are my uncles favorites your about as bright as a burnt out light bulb and Shes Meaner than a Junk Yard Dog

10-04-2005, 09:47 PM	#55
1972ChevyCheyenne Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Teeswater, Ontario, Canada Posts: 173	When things aren't going so well grandpa always says "Well ain't that enough to piss off the good humor man"

10-04-2005, 09:58 PM	#56
FUNMUDDER Account Suspended Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Maine Posts: 427	If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose. DANG PECKERHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats all I can think of for now, all the other ones on here I have already heard......

10-04-2005, 11:14 PM	#58
jcueckert13 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Edgewood New Mexico Posts: 2,088	"thats as useless as tits on a boar hog" "knock that over a RCH(red c... hair)"

10-05-2005, 03:56 AM	#59
Americanrider Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: NW, WA. Posts: 1,421	You drive the old people S** (make love) SLOW & SLOPPY! Beauty is only a light switch away Happier than a faggot in a tree full of D** (richards) Happier than a lesi with a bag full 'o dildos & new batteries Your so dumb the only thing you can use is a chem light... cuz' you have to break it to make it work! The only thing I trust you to drive is my wheel-barrow... and thats' insured! A old Army saying "You do a lot of standing around, one thumb in your mouth and one in your arse.... and then wait for somebody to say SWITCH!"

10-05-2005, 10:04 AM	#62
Old Yeller 1970 DON'T TREAD ON ME Join Date: May 2005 Location: Crosby County, TX Posts: 989	She fell through the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. You ain't got the sense God gave to a head of cabbage. (From Mama on 'Mama's Family') One of my best friend's is, "I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure." Young Biff in 'Back to the Future II', "Hey gramps, why don't you make like a tree and get out of here". Old Biff, (whacks Young Biff on the back of the head) "It's 'leave' you morron. You sound like an idiot when you say that". __________________ Old Yeller

10-05-2005, 10:23 AM	#63
panhandler62 Java Mechanic Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Martinsburg, WV Posts: 6,763	There have been so many I don't know if I missed some.... 1. Who pissed in your Wheaties? (also Cornflakes) 2. Don't get your panties in a wad. (or twist) 3. Happier than a retard in a room full of bouncy balls (credit Larry the Cable Guy) __________________ Keith 11 Lincoln MKT -- Momma's wagon 13 G37xS -- middle age crazy car 68 C20 Fleetside -- RIP Decorating the whole town up at a cost of $27 ....

10-05-2005, 10:27 AM	#64
Putter More Cowbell.... Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Puckett, MS Posts: 3,569	"I think I could $#!T through a screen door and not touch a wire" "He ain't the brightest bulb in the lamp, is he?" If you happen to fart just before someone walks up, and they mention it.....tell them "Sorry. I wasn't expecting company" "Man it's hot. I'm sweatin' like an inmate up for parole!" "That boy couldn't drive a stick-horse.....he'd back up and break the tail" A mechanic once got me good....while holding his hands out, he asked.... "Are your hands cleaner than mine?" (Comparing the two, I replied) "Yes sir" (He goes...) "Good. Scratch my balls for me!" "You know what it feels like when you have to pee...REALLLLY bad? Good, feel me and see if I need to pee really bad!" __________________ *There once was a member from Puckett.....Who ( fill in the blank blank blank* ) bucket**

10-05-2005, 10:37 AM	#65
gr8scott51 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bremerton, WA Posts: 1,839	So poor I can't pay attention. The lights on but nobodys home. You're just not right. __________________ Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. - Scott



Register or Log In To remove these advertisements.

10-05-2005, 10:59 AM	#66
mingoman Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Miss Co Arkansas Posts: 679	"People in hell want ice water" "Sh%# fire and save the matches" __________________ 76/77/78 Cheyenne 1997 K3500 454 soon to be 496

10-05-2005, 11:55 AM	#67
Putter More Cowbell.... Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Puckett, MS Posts: 3,569	I'm so hungry, I could eat the ass end out of a menstrual skunk! __________________ *There once was a member from Puckett.....Who ( fill in the blank blank blank* ) bucket**

10-05-2005, 12:06 PM	#68
redhead69 fugedaboutit Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Gresham, OR Posts: 832	I took my vent windows to a glass shop to have my new rubber installed.. handed him the Precision 4pc rubber kit.. he said- "these aughta fit like a sock on a chicken" Needless to say the glass pros are not impressed with Precision products but I have been saying that for days now! __________________ Currently truckless

10-05-2005, 02:06 PM	#69
1969 C/K CST A.K.A- Crummy Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: NC foothills Posts: 3,025	When needing to get the point across-You talk to the horses head not the horses a%. __________________ 2003 Silverado Z71 Are fishermen all liars? Last edited by 1969 C/K CST; 10-05-2005 at 02:07 PM.*

10-05-2005, 02:19 PM	#70
Mongo YES_____NO Join Date: Jul 1999 Location: Somewhere in the vicinity of betelgeuse Posts: 7,351	Hey boy did some one squeez your head? then Why is there **** comming out of your mouth. __________________ People many not remember what you said or what you did, but they will remember the way you made them feel. - unknown Cause, remember: no matter where you go... there you are. - Buckaroo Banzai 1984 Help support the board

10-05-2005, 02:23 PM	#71
1969 C/K CST A.K.A- Crummy Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: NC foothills Posts: 3,025	Stubborn as a mule. __________________ 2003 Silverado Z71 Are fishermen all liars? Last edited by 1969 C/K CST; 10-05-2005 at 02:25 PM.

10-05-2005, 02:29 PM	#72
panhandler62 Java Mechanic Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Martinsburg, WV Posts: 6,763	1. You could eff up a wet dream 2. That boy's about two tacos short of a combination plate 3. He could sell catsup popsicles to a woman in a white fur coat (from Tommy Boy) __________________ Keith 11 Lincoln MKT -- Momma's wagon 13 G37xS -- middle age crazy car 68 C20 Fleetside -- RIP Decorating the whole town up at a cost of $27 ....

10-05-2005, 03:44 PM	#73
sneakysnake It's a catastrophic success. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 2,077	If you cant run with the big dogs, stay on the porch. His elevator doesnt go all the way to the top. Much smarter now,( after doing something dumb that usually hurt)

10-05-2005, 03:53 PM	#74
1969 C/K CST A.K.A- Crummy Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: NC foothills Posts: 3,025	Someone looking around for a misplaced tool(etc.) When they finally remember where they put it or find it. Good coment-Just use that one. __________________ 2003 Silverado Z71 Are fishermen all liars?

10-05-2005, 04:03 PM	#75
1969 C/K CST A.K.A- Crummy Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: NC foothills Posts: 3,025	Comment by my father-in-law while we watched a horse de-nutting.(otherwise known as brain surgery) Switching him from a** to grass. __________________ 2003 Silverado Z71 Are fishermen all liars?

Register or Log In To remove these advertisements.