Joke Thread - Page 19 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

**Ol Blue K20** · 03-03-2021, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

acc

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

air

1976gmc20 · 03-03-2021, 09:02 PM

Barbie

**Sheepdip** · 03-04-2021, 01:42 AM

VooDo Doll

**davischevy** · 03-05-2021, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheepdip

VooDo Doll

Finally one my wife laughed at.

GOPAPA · 03-06-2021, 07:51 PM

VooDoo Doll was a good one,, not telling my wife.lol

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Man : A guy just got hit by a car ,I need an ambulance >
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street
Operator : Can you spell that for me ?

Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man : I will drag him over to a pine tree and call right back ..

1976gmc20 · 03-06-2021, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GOPAPA

VooDoo Doll was a good one,, not telling my wife.lol

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Man : A guy just got hit by a car ,I need an ambulance >
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street
Operator : Can you spell that for me ?

Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man : I will drag him over to a pine tree and call right back ..

This really happened, back when we had our old brick cellphone that would actually work up on top of the ridges. I called the non-emergency dispatch number to report what looked like smoke on a big fire from a few days back.

The 911 operator asked me what was my address. I said "I'm on horseback up in the middle of <redacted> ranch."

So she paged out the FD saying that a caller reported seeing smoke from "Horseback Road."

(it was actually just a plume of ash from a dust devil, but we were all still pretty nervous after losing 70+ homes)

GOPAPA · 03-06-2021, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1976gmc20

This really happened, back when we had our old brick cellphone that would actually work up on top of the ridges. I called the non-emergency dispatch number to report what looked like smoke on a big fire from a few days back.

The 911 operator asked me what was my address. I said "I'm on horseback up in the middle of <redacted> ranch."

So she paged out the FD saying that a caller reported seeing smoke from "Horseback Road."

(it was actually just a plume of ash from a dust devil, but we were all still pretty nervous after losing 70+ homes)

Yeah ,,it's funny as a joke ,,but for real is not what you would like to hear from a Emergency Operator

1976gmc20 · 03-06-2021, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GOPAPA

Yeah ,,it's funny as a joke ,,but for real is not what you would like to hear from a Emergency Operator

Our county dispatch/911 deserves its own joke thread!

**richard2717** · 03-07-2021, 01:47 PM

gob

**Getter-Done** · 03-07-2021, 03:19 PM

.

.

**richard2717** · 03-08-2021, 08:34 AM

cat

**Boog** · 03-08-2021, 09:18 AM

**71CHEVYSHORTBED402** · 03-09-2021, 01:39 PM

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art dealer called and asked to speak to his client.

"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she believes will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ..... and I think she could be right."

Saul replied, enthusiastically, "Holy Cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary."

**Steeveedee** · 03-10-2021, 10:48 AM

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. Turns out he's a web designer.

**Ol Blue K20** · 03-10-2021, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 71CHEVYSHORTBED402

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art dealer called and asked to speak to his client.

"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she believes will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ..... and I think she could be right."

Saul replied, enthusiastically, "Holy Cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. Turns out he's a web designer.

Very Funny guys.....

**68bowtie** · 03-10-2021, 04:42 PM

If you remember Fuzzy Wuzzy, the un-fuzzy bear... I made this version up while walking through Costco one day. My wife still makes fun of me.

Izzy Bizzy was a blob.

Izzy Bizzy had no job.

Izzy Bizzy isn’t busy, is he?

1976gmc20 · 03-10-2021, 05:23 PM

This is one my grandma used to say:

Oowey gooey was a worm
A little worm was he
He climbed upon a railroad track
A train he did not see

Oowey gooey!

**Ol Blue K20** · 03-10-2021, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 68bowtie

If you remember Fuzzy Wuzzy, the un-fuzzy bear... I made this version up while walking through Costco one day. My wife still makes fun of me.

Izzy Bizzy was a blob.

Izzy Bizzy had no job.

Izzy Bizzy isn’t busy, is he?

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1976gmc20

This is one my grandma used to say:

Oowey gooey was a worm
A little worm was he
He climbed upon a railroad track
A train he did not see

Oowey gooey!

You guys need to meet my buddy...Jack Daniels...he makes this weirdness go away...

OK....back to my corner!.....

**68bowtie** · 03-10-2021, 09:16 PM

Lol

**LockDoc** · 03-10-2021, 09:40 PM

-
OK, since we are getting into weird nursery rhymes. How many remember this one....

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean.

1976gmc20 · 03-10-2021, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol Blue K20

You guys need to meet my buddy...Jack Daniels...he makes this weirdness go away...

OK....back to my corner!.....

Clan McGregor

Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?

**Ol Blue K20** · 03-10-2021, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1976gmc20

Clan McGregor

Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?

Hmmm,....this sounds like a trick question.

**Steeveedee** · 03-10-2021, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1976gmc20

Clan McGregor

Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?

Yes.

**Stocker** · 03-11-2021, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LockDoc

-
OK, since we are getting into weird nursery rhymes. How many remember this one....

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean.

I sure do remember that one! Can't say why, but I think of it now & then to this day......

**Stocker** · 03-11-2021, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1976gmc20

Clan McGregor

Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?

Another yes.

03-03-2021, 09:02 PM	#452
1976gmc20 Registered User Join Date: May 2015 Location: Montana Posts: 3,696	Re: Joke Thread Barbie Attached Images __________________ Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner

03-04-2021, 01:42 AM	#453
Sheepdip Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2018 Location: Waterford California Posts: 2,595	Re: Joke Thread VooDo Doll Attached Images

03-06-2021, 07:51 PM	#455
GOPAPA Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Nampa Idaho Posts: 7,551	Re: Joke Thread VooDoo Doll was a good one,, not telling my wife.lol Operator: 911, what's your emergency? Man : A guy just got hit by a car ,I need an ambulance > Operator: What's your location? Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street Operator : Can you spell that for me ? Man: (long awkward pause) Operator: Sir? Are you there? Man : I will drag him over to a pine tree and call right back .. __________________ When you learn a thing a day you store up smart.

03-07-2021, 01:47 PM	#459
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,099	Re: Joke Thread gob Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

03-07-2021, 03:19 PM	#460
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,329	Re: Joke Thread . . __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

03-08-2021, 08:34 AM	#461
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,099	Re: Joke Thread cat Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

03-08-2021, 09:18 AM	#462
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,459	Re: Joke Thread __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross

03-09-2021, 01:39 PM	#463
71CHEVYSHORTBED402 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Northern Nevada Posts: 7,300	Re: Joke Thread A New York attorney representing a wealthy art dealer called and asked to speak to his client. "Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news." The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first." The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she believes will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ..... and I think she could be right." Saul replied, enthusiastically, "Holy Cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?" The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary." __________________ Tony 71 Custom Deluxe, SWB, 2WD, 402, A/C. I developed an assembly kit for restoring the (a) truck from the ground up. My build thread, and more on the assembly kit https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...d.php?t=730025

03-10-2021, 10:48 AM	#464
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,612	Re: Joke Thread My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. Turns out he's a web designer. __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

03-10-2021, 04:42 PM	#466
68bowtie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Turlock, CA Posts: 8,745	Re: Joke Thread If you remember Fuzzy Wuzzy, the un-fuzzy bear... I made this version up while walking through Costco one day. My wife still makes fun of me. Izzy Bizzy was a blob. Izzy Bizzy had no job. Izzy Bizzy isn’t busy, is he? __________________ Please help my sister in law with her battle with cancer https://gofund.me/902f6fce Project "C10 Fever" (68 factory black 396 swb) Project "Little Sister" (70 c10 blue original paint refresh) Project "Blue Bomb" (70 c30 blue original paint refresh) SOLD Project "Vitamin C" (71 c10 orange original paint refresh) SOLD

03-10-2021, 05:23 PM	#467
1976gmc20 Registered User Join Date: May 2015 Location: Montana Posts: 3,696	Re: Joke Thread This is one my grandma used to say: Oowey gooey was a worm A little worm was he He climbed upon a railroad track A train he did not see Oowey gooey! __________________ Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner

03-10-2021, 09:16 PM	#469
68bowtie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Turlock, CA Posts: 8,745	Re: Joke Thread Lol __________________ Please help my sister in law with her battle with cancer https://gofund.me/902f6fce Project "C10 Fever" (68 factory black 396 swb) Project "Little Sister" (70 c10 blue original paint refresh) Project "Blue Bomb" (70 c30 blue original paint refresh) SOLD Project "Vitamin C" (71 c10 orange original paint refresh) SOLD

03-10-2021, 09:40 PM	#470
LockDoc The Older Generation Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Montezuma, Iowa Posts: 25,656	Re: Joke Thread - OK, since we are getting into weird nursery rhymes. How many remember this one.... Jack Sprat could eat no fat His wife could eat no lean And so betwixt the two of them They licked the platter clean. Attached Images __________________ Leon Locksmith, Specializing In Antique Trucks, Automobiles, & Motorcycles (My Dually Pickup Project Thread) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=829820 -



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