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Old 12-25-2004, 12:21 AM   #1
Longhorn Man
its all about the +6 inches
 
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Hilliard Ohio
Posts: 2,690
Talking A little disturbing Christmas humor

Have you ever looked at a tradition and wondered how it got started?
What was in there minds when they thought of it?
Who exactly is to blame for it?


Well...today is your lucky day, becouse I have been told how one of the Christmas traditions came to be...and I am about to enlighten you.


One cold night at the North pole way back in the day, Santa was havin a pretty rough time. See, there were 5 or 6 hundred elves out with the flu. This put a seriouse crimp in Santa's toy factory's production. Being that Christmas was just around the corner...this was just not acceptable.

Santa was racking his brains trying to figure how to solve the problem. He tried putting in a hot chocolate bonus if they remaining elves could make the quota, but that wasn't working.

Mrs Clause saw an add in the North Pole Gazzette for a new local temp service. She pointed it out to Santa and his eyes lit up with joy!

Not even an hr after making the call to Elf Temp Services, there was a knock at the door of the toy factory, and Santa was greeted with 700 elfs all wanting to help.

Christmas was saved...or so thought Santa.

After 2 days of steady work, santa noticed that the production wasn't up to where it should be. He heads to the assembly line to discover the temps were not doing there job. Some were on a smoke break, some were talkin to there girl friends on there cell phones, and many just never came back after there lunch break. Santa had never worked with temps before.

Santa was stressing out now. He fired all the temps, said he wasn't going to pay them since they didn't do anything. Then, Santa went home.

He came in, plopped in the lazy boy and reached for the remote. When he tried to turn on the TV, nothing happened. So he had to get up and turn it on...kinda upsetting when you're already in a bad mood.

Santa notices Mrs Clause isn't in the kitchen where she normally hangs out in the evenings, so he hollers for her.

Nothing...all is silent.

So he grumbles and complains as he gets up and heads to the kitchen. Coplaining that he is stressing out and that the kids are all going to be let down. He opens the fridge, only to discover that his whiskey is all gone.

Santa slams the door. He figures a bowl of Ice cream will have to do, so he reaches up into the cabnet to grab his favorite large ceramic bowl. Just as he grabs it, he is startled by a noise behind him. He jumps only to find nothing there, but in the process, he drops the bowl and it shatters on the floor.

Santa is getting really really p!ssed now. He reaches to grab the broom to sweep up his mess, only to find that the mice have taken all the straw from the broom head. Santa lets out a loud groan as he starts cussing up a storm. I'm talkin words that'll make a salor blush.

Just then, the door bell rings. Santa goes to the door stomping and cussing and swings the door open, and with a grumpy scruffy voice he yells 'WHAT!?!?!"

On the porch, is a little angel. She is standing there looking all perfect and beautiful. She looks at santa and tells him "I have brought you a tree for Christmas. you can put it up and decorate it with all the ornaments that the elfs have made for you. Where would you like me to stick it Santa?"



And THAT is why, you always see a little angel up on the very top of the Christmas tree.
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