met a punk in a truck...LOL!!!!

[Longhorn Man]

in traffic today I was sittin at a light, and this 16 year old punk pulls up in the nastiest jalopy of a turd you could ever imagine. I don't know what was holding it together. It was a lwb step side with more rust holes than sheet metal. Cab corners were not only rusted out, but all the way up to the line where the molding used to be on it. The door was so bad, I was lookin at his window in the bottom of the friken door!
Anyways, this thing had one header that the collecter was almost rusted off, and it was running on 7 holes...sounded like crap. The kid pulls up and shouts to me askin if i wanted to RACE!!! I shut off my truck and yelled WHAT? (makin sure I heard him right) He says this thing ROCKS...it has a stock car engine in it. ( stock car...said it like it was one word) I cracked up laughin, so he revved it up, smoke pouring out the one pipe that was still attached. I said Knock that sh!t off! the light chainges, and he slams the gas and then pops it in drive once the engine was up to about 5000 RPM. The right rear tire spun for about 2 feet and it putted through the intersection. By this time I was laughing so damn hard I was about to p!ss myself. I passed him up and pulled into a gas station. He pulls in revvin the pee oput of his 'race motor' trying sooooo hard to look cool. There was a guy in an old camaro there that looked and cracked up laughing too.
I told the kid about the board and his responce was I don't need 5000+ people to tell me how to do it, I have it all planned out.
OK...what ever.
I ask if i can see his stock-car engine, and he tells me he hasn't figured how to open the hood. (he says this as opens the drivers door pointing to the vent knob) He says i can't get the hood release thngy to work, it just moves freely with a screatching noise.
I opened the hood, and was greated to the nastyest, grungiest, slimiest small block ever seen by man. This thing was cobbled so bad it was unreal. (a bread bag twisty tie held the throttle rod to the ONE BARREL carb. A MONO JET ON A STOCK-CAR!!!!!!
I was laughing so bad it was unreal. I reached down and plugged in the spark plug wire that was zapping the frame every time it got power, and told him to start it up. It still sounded like crap, but at least it idled on it's own. He killed it and I tried telling him that it is a stock (as in original) car (as in caprice station wagon) engine. He starts telling me how it is a de-tuned winston cup car!!!
I smiled as i got in my truck and left. I never did tell him how I opened the hood, and as I pulled out of the lot, I heard him slam the hood, then stare through the grill tryign to figure it out. I thought it would be funny to atch this, so I pulled back in and bought a bottle of dew (like I ddn't already have one) just so I could see if he would getit.
He was still trying to figure it out 5 min later when i left.
This kid made my day. 16, on top of the world, ad trying to say he has it all figured it out.
Other peoples children...I'm tellin you...