SCORE!!! not...

[domeier]

I was poking around a lumber yard this morning looking for bed wood, and came across a pile of junk maple leftovers from some Steve Jobs-type, rich dude construction project.

$5.79 per plank! Yow!!!

I spent about 45 minutes sorting through it until I had six half decent planks that could be cut to size, so I loaded 'em on my cart and wheeled it up to the cashier.

Lessee... 8 x 6 plus tax... I was opening up my wallet when cashier dude starts measuring the planks.

I said, "hang on dude, these all came off that crap pile out back. The sign said $5.79 each."

Dude gave me a look like I must have been in a real bad, no-helmet motorcycle accident. "Uh, no, that's $5.79 per board foot." (He didn't add 'you freakin' moron,' but I could see it in his eyes.)

"Oh," I said. I didn't know what else to say.

Man, I walked out of there feeling poor... and stupid. Wait, I am poor and stupid. But at least I still have my $55. I can't BELIEVE what junk wood costs these days. Dang hippies have made it just about impossible for anyone who isn't Warren Buffet to build anything out of wood any more.

Oh well. Guess I just gotta suck it up until I find some junk wood on craigslist, or maybe sneak into some rich dude's house when he's not home and 'borrow' his kitchen cabinets, and maybe his coffee table.

Dang hippies! Dang 'em all straight to hell!!!