Dumb A-arm rebuild questions

[67pete300]

So I'm finally starting to put back together the upper and lower A arms with the new shafts and ball joints and it doesn't seem so straightforward as removal....

First, I can't get the same 12 pt 1 3/8" socket I used to remove the control arm shaft nuts on the new nuts? They look exactly the same as the old ones when I put them next to each other but the socket just won't slip over. It was snug on the old ones. Do I need a 6 pt socket? It doesn't look different enough to be metric...

Second, I didn't pay any attention to the adjustment fore or aft when removing the old shaft but it seems like the shaft needs to be centered in a certain way to locate the arm in the right spot?

Third, Is there any magic to greasing the new shafts? When and how much to grease?

Fourth, Torque specs for control arm shaft nuts and ball joint bolts?

Need to rent the ball joint tool for the lowers but maybe I'll discover new questions when I get there....