Joke Thread

[Steeveedee]

Originally Posted by richard2717

We were all at a fishing resort. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. We decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so we voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
We said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
We said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."
The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. We couldn't believe it. We said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.. Bob sat up and watched me all night."
With age comes wisdom.

As for snoring, my FiL (Bob, believe it or not). Snored really loudly...enough that his wife slept in a different room until her hearing failed. One time, we were camping at Four Corners- where Arizona, Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico come together- and the parents-in-law were over the state line. Wife and I were in our trailer a good 50 feet away and had a hard time sleeping. We've called it "Interstate Snoring" ever since.

[Boog]

deep

[Boog]

age

[CG]

...

[Boog]

Luke

[Boog]

box seats

[Boog]

drones mystery solved!

[Steeveedee]

^ So true!

My take- unless people are coming back with stories of colonoscopies, I'm not worried about those drones.

[richard2717]

tip

[Boog]

I'll have a V8

[3757chevy]

Originally Posted by CG

...

Originally Posted by Boog

Luke

LMAO

[Shifty One]

[Boog]

Franklins

[Steeveedee]

Xmas, that time of year when we gather around a dead tree and eat candy out of a sock.

[Boog]

[Boog]

flies

[Steeveedee]

Originally Posted by Boog

flies

That's when the fight started! I wonder if flies stagger after licking the beer can? It would be hard to tell, since they don't fly straight anyway.

[Boog]

think

[CG]

Originally Posted by Boog

Franklins

I had to show this to my wife cause I coudnt figure it out, took her two seconds lol.

[richard2717]

A local bar prided itself on having the strongest man in the village behind the counter. They even had a standing £1000 bet to prove it.
The challenge? The barman would squeeze a lemon until every last drop of juice was gone. Then, anyone who could squeeze out another drop would win the money.
Weightlifters, arm wrestlers, and other tough guys all tried—and failed.
One day, a scrawny little man walked in. He was barely noticeable, wearing scratched glasses and a threadbare polyester suit that looked decades old.
“I’d like to take the bet,” he said in a quiet voice.
The bar erupted in laughter, but the barman shrugged and grabbed a fresh lemon. He squeezed it with all his might until it was just a shriveled rind. Then, with a smirk, he handed it to the little man.
The bar fell silent as the scrawny man clenched his fist around the lemon. To everyone’s shock, a single drop of juice fell into the glass.
He squeezed again—another drop.
And then again—a third drop.
The room was stunned. No one could believe their eyes.
The barman, now thoroughly impressed, handed over the £1000 prize. “Mate, what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack? A metalworker? A weightlifter?”
The little man adjusted his glasses and replied with a faint smile, “I’m a tax collector.”

[Boog]

[Shifty One]

Ow.

[richard2717]

3ott

[1970 CST Short Wide]

Security

[HO455]

Originally Posted by richard2717

3ott

Three on the Tree is a no brainer but, what the heck is Elf on a Shelf?