Joke Thread

[GOPAPA]

[QUOTE=Getter-Done;8931488]


I too think this is not a funny joke ..

[Getter-Done]

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[leddzepp]

Longevity?

1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41

4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.

5. James Fuller Fixx credited with helping start America's fitness revolution by popularizing the sport of running died of a heart attack while jogging at 52 years of age

BUT

6. The KFC inventor died at 94.

7. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

8. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102

9. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake

10. And the Hennessey Liquor inventor died at 98.


How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.

So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink, smoke, and enjoy your life.

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by leddzepp

Longevity?

1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41

4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.

5. James Fuller Fixx credited with helping start America's fitness revolution by popularizing the sport of running died of a heart attack while jogging at 52 years of age

BUT

6. The KFC inventor died at 94.

7. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

8. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102

9. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake

10. And the Hennessey Liquor inventor died at 98.


How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.

So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink, smoke, and enjoy your life.

My thoughts exactly!

[FleetsidePaul]

Originally Posted by leddzepp

So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink, smoke, and enjoy your life.

That's my motto and I've outlived two of my doctors. And they were pretty young too.

Maybe they should have taken my advice and said Fck it. Do what you want.

If you want to eat Kale and drink sparkling water then god bless you if it makes you feel better. For myself. I'll take a slice of greasy pizza and a beer.

When your numbers up. It's up.

Joke thread..Time for a joke.

A guy meets a hooker.
She tells him "I'll do things that your wife wont do.
He says great.. And hands her his laundry.

[72 tigger]

Since diet seems to be a topic…

[FleetsidePaul]

[Rich84]

That is the truth..Is that yellow one yours??

[FleetsidePaul]

Originally Posted by Rich84

That is the truth..Is that yellow one yours??

No. Mine has black stripes. But I thought it was funny. There are 4 guys with Corvettes in my small town and every one of them has gray hair.

[Palf70Step]

[richard2717]

body

[Getter-Done]

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[Getter-Done]

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[68bowtie]

It seems like this lady yells A LOT

[truckster]

Age check - who knows what this is?

It's a finger-burner. It makes a nice spiral burn.

[Getter-Done]

Originally Posted by truckster

Age check - who knows what this is?

It's a finger-burner. It makes a nice spiral burn.

So you have done that too












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[CG]

Originally Posted by truckster

Age check - who knows what this is?

It's a finger-burner. It makes a nice spiral burn.

At work (Lowes) I was talking to one of the younger employees over in appliances last week. There was a stove there with the old style spiral burners, but in the middle there was a round piece of metal separate from the burners. I pushed on it and it went down then came back up. I asked him what it was for (although I was pretty sure what it was), he said its a safety switch. When the pot is lifted off the burner the burner shuts off so little tots and such wont reach up and get burned on the hot burner. I just laughed and said how the heck is junior going to learn what HOT is so when we tell him NO that's HOT (whatever that is) he wont touch it? Apparently I'm now a monster lol.

[Killer Bee]

[Getter-Done]

Originally Posted by Killer Bee

No Helmet required






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[richard2717]

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the golf ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife. ��
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
Note: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women just never listen ! ������

[Getter-Done]

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[richard2717]

Well ****.. I think my license might be in jeopardy..
and all just because of a stupid state trooper...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike:
Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"
Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."
Trooper: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"
Me: "A car."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"So, you're drunk."
Me:"But I didn't drink anything."
Trooper:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?
Me:"A motorcycle."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"
Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.
Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"
Trooper:"A prostitute of course."
Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"
Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

[72c20customcamper]

We dont get old .

[Killer Bee]

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by Killer Bee

That's scary!