01-06-2009, 11:00 PM | #1 |
BlahBlahBlah
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wa.
Posts: 20,035
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They're baaaack
My youngest son is having trouble figuring life out. He's 26, gets paid, spends all the money, wonders where it went. He has almost zero bills. He's living with my brother and my brother only charges him 100 bucks a month for rent.
We've tried setting up a budget for him and on and on. But he always seems to come up short and calls Bank O Dad. Im far from wealthy and Ill probably have to work till the day I collapse. But nevertheless I still help him out when he calls even if it puts me backwards for awhile. He called me today...Dad? I said look Ill help you out, but from now on you are going to have to give me something of value, and you will never get it back from me. Having him work it off hasn't worked too well. Busts his butt for a few days and then disappears. The only thing of value he has are all his tattoos and the 71K10 and the 58 Ford wagon (both I had given to him as gifts). So today I became the proud owner (again) of our first Chevy truck and one 58 Ford wagon. Keeping the truck, sentimental value...probably put the wagon on Craigslist or something. |
01-06-2009, 11:08 PM | #2 |
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Blue Springs, MO
Posts: 168
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Re: They're baaaack
man thats a nice truck sorry to hear about your son though. i do the same things sometimes, spend money i dont really have, but thankfully since ive been living on my own i havent called the bank o' dad i dont plan on it either
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01-06-2009, 11:09 PM | #3 |
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: baton rouge, LA
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Re: They're baaaack
crappy situation, but good deal, that wagon is pretty cool
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01-06-2009, 11:21 PM | #4 |
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Location: Ozark, MO
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Re: They're baaaack
Nice K10. At least you got them back, my sister sold or destroyed every car she got from my folks as a gift
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01-06-2009, 11:27 PM | #5 |
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Sacramento, CA
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Re: They're baaaack
Tough love......always looks good on paper, but much harder to apply in real life.
Gotta a 17 yo stepson who is just a gigantic jack off.....in fact, just had a battle tonight and the whole "step" thing makes it even tougher......wanna just bury my head in the sand someplace! Good looking 4x4 and love the steelies with the dog dish caps.
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01-06-2009, 11:29 PM | #6 |
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Location: CASA GRANDE AZ
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Re: They're baaaack
2 really cool projects
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01-06-2009, 11:50 PM | #7 |
Roadtrip!
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Grand Rapids MN
Posts: 13,790
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Re: They're baaaack
Hey, i have a pair of bucket seats... oh never mind.
Your black truck is a 1/2 ton, correct? Are those the stock 8" wide wheels? What size tires and is there any lift? I like the stance of it. Eric
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01-06-2009, 11:57 PM | #8 |
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Poplar Bluff, MO
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Re: They're baaaack
Please tell me what size the steelies are. Are they the clips or the nubs? Great looking BTW
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01-07-2009, 12:29 AM | #9 |
BlahBlahBlah
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wa.
Posts: 20,035
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Re: They're baaaack
2.5 inch lift all spring. Skyjacker soft rides, all four corners. Wheels are 15x8 with outside nubs. Tires are 33 12.5 15's. Ive always loved the stance too.
I need to make a road trip for those darn buckets =) Last edited by CG; 01-07-2009 at 12:32 AM. |
01-07-2009, 12:30 AM | #10 |
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Location: Idaho
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Re: They're baaaack
CG,
Sorry to hear about your son and his life lessons. Hope he learns sooner or later. Nice F**D you got there, not a bad little 4x4 either. Good Luck
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01-07-2009, 12:41 AM | #11 |
BlahBlahBlah
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wa.
Posts: 20,035
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Re: They're baaaack
My son is a super nice kid. No drugs or crap like that. Everyone that he spends any time with at all really likes him. I can never stay unhappy with him. Im sure that hasnt helped him...maybe a little toughish love will help.
He's going through a tattoo and bandanna wearing phase right now. Drives me nuts lol. Here he is helping me tear the panel down getting it ready for the sand blasters. |
01-07-2009, 12:48 AM | #12 |
RIP BigDaddyDave ~7-23-09~ You will be missed~
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Concord NC
Posts: 1,361
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Re: They're baaaack
I went through the same thing with my 20 year old son. I decided that tough love was the best for him, i stopped helping him out when he got in a bind,and he grew up.
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01-07-2009, 01:02 AM | #13 |
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Location: Ogden Utah
Posts: 286
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Re: They're baaaack
CG,
Tough love never hurt no one. In fact, it will make him wiser. Let him go through the phases now while he's young..26 is still really a baby. He'll be more inclined to let go of these issues as he matures. I'm 40.. and scratch my head at the things I'm NOW doing in life.. because I did not have the opportunity to be myself when I was young. It's good you are at least allowing that.. it will pay off in the long run.. and some day, you'll be proud you left him alone. Nice cars. I would probably sell the Ford. Try to talk to him and curtail the tattoo thing as much as you can. The one thing folks don't realize when they get them is they're with them the rest of their life.. I had a cover-up done a while back.. and it was expensive. Sounds like a good kid otherwise. Last edited by Slik69; 01-07-2009 at 01:04 AM. |
01-07-2009, 01:46 AM | #14 |
STOLEN
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Orange County
Posts: 1,022
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Re: They're baaaack
CG, My boy is 3 years old and I'm sure you still see that 3 year old face come back to you now and again, which makes it hard to be tough with him. I won't give you advice, just support, and I hope you guys worki it out and stay close. Good luck man.
Chuck
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01-07-2009, 01:51 AM | #15 |
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Location: Rolla, MO
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Re: They're baaaack
Forget the boy and focus on that truck!! That thing is awesome!!!!
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01-07-2009, 02:00 AM | #16 |
Happy Camper
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern California
Posts: 8,407
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Re: They're baaaack
Man I would love to have a K series.
I have seen worse case kids come out fine, he'll figure it out. Don't give up on him.
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01-07-2009, 02:11 AM | #17 |
Gone to greener pastures
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Re: They're baaaack
I hate to sound like the old butthole that I am..........but there comes a time when you have to put your foot down & say, "ENOUGH!"
You done good, My Friend. And your son will be a better man for it. Just don't back down. Please don't ask how I know about such things. BTW: NICE TRUCK!
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01-07-2009, 04:08 AM | #18 |
Designated Grumpy Old Man
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Re: They're baaaack
Trade a 41 Caddy for one of your 4x4's.
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01-07-2009, 04:52 AM | #19 |
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Location: salem oregon
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Re: They're baaaack
I am a son, and 23 years of age so I can relate (regarding the age situation, not money). I've just finished college and am half way done with my first year of grad school. Yes I have student loans, and yes I've got a credit card bill. In the summer I bust my ass so I've got some money to play with, and to help with the payments, however, with even the slightest amount of planning I've been able to secure myself with two great options post MBA.
This is all because of a SUPER HARD ASS DAD. Yes that's right, my dad was tough when he needed to be (maybe a bit too much, but that's what mom was for, to soften the blow), however, I can safely say that I owe him quite a bit of my personal drive, success and future gain. You've got a good lookin kid on your hands, probably a great BS artist too (takes one to know one), and I bet if you let the hammer of life come down on him he'll become a much stronger/better person in the long run. |
01-07-2009, 06:03 AM | #20 |
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: croatia roads
Posts: 128
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Re: They're baaaack
i have to say that brandon is right. my dad is tough as stone. but this is what i needed to be straight now. have older brother, dad was much softer with him and now he doesn't even has his own car. and brother has 2 sons...man now i support my bro when ever i can.
i'm 28 now, bro is 35. here in croatia is normal to stay living with your parents, because houses are way to big, but you have to pay your share. my dad pushed me since i was 15, i was working for him for min pay, but enough to buy me gas for my bike i earned over summer. with 19 i sat on my bike an take a wiild ride. but where ever i was i remeberd my father tough ways. sometimes i hated them but those stone cold heart make me a decent man. now i'm living back with my folks. in my days became invalid on left leg, still do things that my dad would never do. he hates my blazer and my harley. but when he put his big hands on my back to see what the hell am i doing now, i know he is proud. maybe we are difrent but i becaame honest man. i promissed myself when i'll have a son, with Gods grace i will, i'll maybe be some softer but not to much. it's like in johnny cash song "boy named sue"! BTW nice truck |
01-07-2009, 06:51 AM | #21 |
Old Skool Club
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Benton, AR "The Heart of Arkansas"
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Re: They're baaaack
Croatia? Wow!
Cultural differences from one country, compared to another, are remarkable. The expectations that Americans have of their children are not too different than what other parents in other countries have of their children, but how it all comes to be is where the differences lie. As you said, your home is big and there is room, but everyone is expected to help. I know that there will be some who move on, when they are expected to stay, but that is the wanderlust in their eye. They will come back. There may be hard feelings or they may be regarded as a prodigal son. As for me, my wife is leaving to day to fly to Rhode Island to ride back with one of my daughters and her family of 5. We have a big-enough home to accomodate them while career changes happen. We raised our oldest granddaughter until she was six, and now she'll be back with us and her two-year old twin sisters, her mom and her dad. It'll be some adjustments to our daily lives, but it'll work out. My wife is the youngest of seven and I'm the oldest of six, so big families are what we have, and what we are (we have five, between us) . To have all of your children become perfect citizens is a dream. It may happen, but each child is unique as is each of us. What one does may be right for that one, but wrong for another. Letting them find their niche in society isn't always a pretty scene, but not having to bail them out of jail is also a promise we made them....as in, you get yourself locked up...you figure out how to get out. Even so, the oldest son found out he had a warrant and drove to the jail to ask about it. Yep....locked up for being behind less than 200 dollars on child support. Don't get me wrong. I want every parent to support their children. Deadbeat parents? Don't get me started on that. He was just too naive. If he didn't work....he couldn't pay. It's a Catch-22, but it's the law. In his case, I got him out and he repaid me. He hasn't been behind on his child support, either. Maybe the law should put some more away when they don't owe too much back support to show them what could happen if they don't stay current. Their kids deserve their financial support.
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01-07-2009, 07:12 AM | #22 |
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: croatia roads
Posts: 128
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Re: They're baaaack
big family! that's great. we are family of 5, and man that's something special...
and yes you are right all the way. it's wonderfull how you support your doughter. i hope you all be fine and i send you God's blessing from croatia |
01-07-2009, 09:49 AM | #23 |
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Location: South Florida
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Re: They're baaaack
I have a 20 year old that is a great kid but I give him tough love I make him pay for all the parts he needs for his vehicles we do the labor together and every month my wife is there asking him for his insurance money & cell phone bill which are under my name. The clock is ticking for him his ass is out by 21 no questions asked. He will appreciate it because I know I did. I will let him fall flat on his face and learned from his mistakes but I have another two kids and a housewife to worry about, hell at 20 there are plenty of kids in the military,married and taking care of their business so my son should be able to do so also. I will never stop being his dad and between all of us here I will help but it is the last resource not the first. He needs to be his own man.
This is so funny yesterday I have an older lady come into my office to discuss a 7,000 dollar repair bill on her sons car well guess what the damn guy is like 35 years old and here is his mother paying for his blown motor and doing all the talking for him, I will be d***ed if my son turns out to be a loser like that so that is why I will always give him very tough love.
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01-07-2009, 10:26 AM | #24 |
BlahBlahBlah
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wa.
Posts: 20,035
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Re: They're baaaack
We were very poor growing up. My dad moved us around a lot. I bet at least 13 different places. Thats a bunch of different schools between K and 12. Plus he was a huge Ahole. So Ive probably over compensated with my sons so they wouldnt have that kind of life. I guess Im a little late to the game when it comes to the tough love thing...I know it will all work out though.
And yes he is a bit of a BS'er...but I can see it in his face when he tries it on me...lol. Thanks for all the kind words fellas...Good bunch of people here on the board. OLDIRON, thats a huge temptation. Cab on the black truck is pretty rusty though. Hard to see in the pic with it being black. |
01-07-2009, 10:51 AM | #25 |
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Location: Homestead, FL
Posts: 242
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Re: They're baaaack
Sounds just like my 24 yo brother that lives with my parents (bandana and tattoos as well). It's like he can't find his a** with both hands. Our dad wasn't home much and when he was it was in front of the TV. Mom was always the harda** but she wasn't ver good at it .
I was in a funk and on the same road so I went out and enlisted at 21...best choice I ever made. It made me commit to something I couldn't just walk away from. I'll be 27 next month and have a wife and 3 kids...talk to your son about what he really wants to do with himself. My dad never talked to me, only at me. If he's floundering, try to show him some options to eliminate his tunnel vision. Just my .02. Nice truck BTW but that wagon is a killer project.
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