Old guy sayings, - Page 5 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

wright-ons · 10-06-2005, 11:28 AM

Smother than a gravy sandwitch

panhandler62 · 10-06-2005, 12:09 PM

F--ed up like a soup sandwitch
Half way there as half way back -- (Don't even get me started on this Pensylvania Dutch stuff...)

*HerLonghorn71* · 10-08-2005, 09:33 PM

Kay I just rememberd the one my dad always was saying

... Any one with 2 eyes and an a$$hole can steer a car down the road ..Dont mean they know how to drive!!

68Stepbed · 10-08-2005, 11:22 PM

When my dad played high school football, he had a teammate that had cracked his helmet. The coach told him to get another helmet. He told him if he got knocked concious, he wouldn't know what they would do.

Ironclad454 · 10-09-2005, 12:25 AM

My dad tell me this all the time, "Close only counts in Horseshoes and Handgranades."

One of my all time favorites is "That boy couldn't find his a$$ at night with both hands and a flashlight". I say that all the time when i encounter massive stupidity.

My former boss used to say this when he would find what someone else lost "Man you look like a Teenager".

"Thats good enough for Government Work"
"---------------------- the Girls I go with"

thats all i can think of right now.

Alan Potter · 10-06-2005, 02:15 PM

.....I'll either fix it or fix it so no one else can fix it.

flip66 · 10-06-2005, 03:11 PM

when something is over priced

"That’s higher then Giraffe p*$$y"

Cheesewagon · 10-06-2005, 03:30 PM

My Dad would say " boy that guys elevator dosen't go to the top floor". And this one " son if it's not broke or worn out don't ---- with it". And Mom's was " just wait to your father gets home".

Putter · 10-07-2005, 09:45 AM

Be careful where you step...stink don't wipe off!!!

PanelDeland · 10-07-2005, 11:02 AM

"did your momma have any children that lived?"
This one I came up with:"If my momma raised any stupid children they're divorced from my former brother in laws" I have 5 sisters.

1969 C/K CST · 10-07-2005, 03:42 PM

Royisms http://www.roydmercer.com/main.htm

Brainchild · 10-07-2005, 08:33 PM

lol Mercers good.A couple of my favorites
I'll put a pop knot on you big enough to hitch a bass boat to.
I'll be on you like thigh fat on a dixie chick

wugunguy · 10-07-2005, 10:25 PM

You have a better chance of winning at pick-up-sticks using your buttcheeks than ...... heard this from a railroad worker

Get over it or lets get it on-I worked with a guy that always said this to anyone who was pissed off at him-he's 73 and strong as an ox.

He also said That sticks out like a diamond in a goats ass

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bull****

That'll go over like a fart in church

Hitch up your high-waters and hold on to your jock-straps cause it's getting deep in here

64fleetside · 10-08-2005, 12:29 AM

I smell what you're stepping in.

**special-K** · 10-08-2005, 07:56 PM

He couldn`t pour pi$$ from a boot with directions on the bottom!!!
Colder`n a well digger`s a**!!
If he had a brain,he`d be dangerous.
He thought he was a Big Wheel,till he found out chit didn`t roll.

*HerLonghorn71* · 10-08-2005, 09:02 PM

This is one my father in law told my husband years ago........I've driven more miles in reverse than you ever will forward...I pissed my self and Dean just got pissed

Another good one is well he aint the sharpest crayon in the box

There are tons more but my mind just went blank

PanelDeland · 10-08-2005, 09:15 PM

I remembered my buddy used to tell me,"Next time I start talking crazy about getting married,remind me to just find some B!+c# I hate and buy her a house!"

Brainchild · 10-09-2005, 02:11 AM

If someone is dumb,dad would say,If brains were gunpowder you wouldn't be able to blow your nose

Some one who can't sing,Can't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it.

If someone moved too slow,I'm gonna have to drive a stake behind them to see if they're moving.

kingsolver72 · 10-09-2005, 02:28 AM

Can you sing tenor?Ten or 12 miles from here?
Can you sing solo?So low I can't hear you.
Monkey see monkey do.
See no evil,hear no evil,speak no evil.
I wish I was rich to,instead of just good looking.
You can tune a piano but, you can't tune a fish.
My Grandpa always told me "Never trust a man that wears a belt and suspenders".
Your the only living abortion i have ever seen.

kingsolver72 · 10-09-2005, 02:48 AM

Tore up from the floor up.
69 used to be my favorite number but now its 77 because you get 8 more.

kingsolver72 · 10-09-2005, 03:18 AM

This is lame but sometimes people will as me "What do you think?
My reply:
Its too windy to stack b.b.s
Its too wet to plow.
It takes a big dog to weigh a ton.
And if someone asks me what is up:
I say: "A line perpedicular to the plane of the circumferance of the earth".
Or:"Its all relitive to where you are".
"You don't ask a carpet layer "Whats up..you ask him "Whats going down"?
And if a customer asks a carpet installer :"How long you been layin carpet?
Answer:Countin today?...Or "I watched the Bob Villa video on the way over here.
If the custormer asked me.."Hows it goin"?
I say;"I am getting the fuzzy side up".
I know,I am a walking cliche.

kingsolver72 · 10-09-2005, 03:34 AM

An old military sayings.
1.Smoke em if you got em.If you don't,see your squad leader.
2.Squared away.
3.Dust yourself.
4.You have 3 minutes to eat and 2 and a half minutes are already gone.
5.This is my weapon,this is my gun.This is for killin this for fun.
6.Don't call me SIR I work for a living.

SEVEND2 · 10-09-2005, 07:07 AM

Want in 1 hand and SH*T in the other, see which fills up faster

Dam, Your 5 cans short of a 6 pack

Dam thier so stupid they need to take a Long walk off a short pier

Build a Machine simple enough for an idiot to run it and only a idiot will run it

(quote from my uncle) >> we are all just monkeys in a tree, We see management looking down on us and they see smiling faces looking back at them, We the workers look up and all we see are AZZ HOLES.

Hey come here and touch this batt. to your tongue!!!!

Ironclad454 · 10-09-2005, 06:20 PM

okay here's a few more

1. Excuses are like Azzholes, everybody's got one, and they all Stink
2. If it doesn't Fit, get a bigger hammer
3. If it doesn't Fit, Force it, if it breaks it need to be replaced anyway
4. He/She could suck a golfball through a garden hose (talkative people)

**special-K** · 10-09-2005, 08:50 PM

Dad said,"Watch out for guys with two last names".(Dawson Peterson,Jefferson Montgomery...these are fictitious names)

10-06-2005, 12:09 PM	#2
panhandler62 Java Mechanic Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Martinsburg, WV Posts: 6,763	F--ed up like a soup sandwitch Half way there as half way back -- (Don't even get me started on this Pensylvania Dutch stuff...) __________________ Keith 11 Lincoln MKT -- Momma's wagon 13 G37xS -- middle age crazy car 68 C20 Fleetside -- RIP Decorating the whole town up at a cost of $27 ....

10-08-2005, 11:22 PM	#4
68Stepbed Registered User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: 10-Uh-See Posts: 5,609	When my dad played high school football, he had a teammate that had cracked his helmet. The coach told him to get another helmet. He told him if he got knocked concious, he wouldn't know what they would do. __________________ Matt 68 C10 stepside, LS1/700R4, TCI Engineering suspension system

10-09-2005, 12:25 AM	#5
Ironclad454 Registered loser Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Williston ND Posts: 289	My dad tell me this all the time, "Close only counts in Horseshoes and Handgranades." One of my all time favorites is "That boy couldn't find his a$$ at night with both hands and a flashlight". I say that all the time when i encounter massive stupidity. My former boss used to say this when he would find what someone else lost "Man you look like a Teenager". "Thats good enough for Government Work" "---------------------- the Girls I go with" thats all i can think of right now. __________________ -Nate- There is no replacement for displacement 1996 Buick Riviera 3.8L S/C V6- DD 1973 Chevrolet Cheyenne Super C/10 LWB 454/TH350

10-06-2005, 02:15 PM	#6
Alan Potter Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Northwest Ohio Posts: 162	.....I'll either fix it or fix it so no one else can fix it. __________________ '12 Silverado Crew Cab 4x4 '05 Silverado SWB '67 Chevrolet CST 2wd '49 Willys Jeepster

10-06-2005, 03:11 PM	#7
flip66 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Garland TX Dallas area Posts: 658	when something is over priced "That’s higher then Giraffe p*$$y" __________________ 1998 Pontiac Grad Prix GTP 1969 C10 396 TH400 3.08 posi

10-06-2005, 11:28 AM	#1
wright-ons Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Central CA Posts: 20	Smother than a gravy sandwitch

10-08-2005, 09:33 PM	#3
HerLonghorn71 Account Suspended Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 730	Kay I just rememberd the one my dad always was saying ... Any one with 2 eyes and an a$$hole can steer a car down the road ..Dont mean they know how to drive!!

10-06-2005, 03:30 PM	#8
Cheesewagon Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Perrysburg, Ohio, USA Posts: 409	My Dad would say " boy that guys elevator dosen't go to the top floor". And this one " son if it's not broke or worn out don't ---- with it". And Mom's was " just wait to your father gets home". __________________ '91 suburban 350 TBI - R 700 4 new daily driver '72 Cheyenne Super 49,000miles 350/350 frame up resto w/ matching numbers.

10-07-2005, 09:45 AM	#9
Putter More Cowbell.... Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Puckett, MS Posts: 3,569	Be careful where you step...stink don't wipe off!!! __________________ *There once was a member from Puckett.....Who ( fill in the blank blank blank* ) bucket**

10-07-2005, 11:02 AM	#10
PanelDeland I am a Referee of life. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Greensboro N.C. Posts: 13,992	"did your momma have any children that lived?" This one I came up with:"If my momma raised any stupid children they're divorced from my former brother in laws" I have 5 sisters. __________________ The 47-present Chevrolet and GMC Truck Message Board Network,it's owners,moderators,members,and associates of any type should not be held responsible for my opinion. You can't fix stupid,not even with duct tape. "My appearance is due to the fact that "GOD" does punish you for having too much fun!" Barrett-Jackson has perfected alchemy,they make rust into gold! "You can lead a horse to water but you can't saddle a duck" "Cleverly disguised as a 'Responsible Adult' "Sometimes your Knight in shining armor is just a retard in tinfoil"

10-07-2005, 03:42 PM	#11
1969 C/K CST A.K.A- Crummy Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: NC foothills Posts: 3,025	Royisms http://www.roydmercer.com/main.htm __________________ 2003 Silverado Z71 Are fishermen all liars?

10-07-2005, 08:33 PM	#12
Brainchild Still drivin' a Rat Rod Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Monett Missouri Posts: 4,925	lol Mercers good.A couple of my favorites I'll put a pop knot on you big enough to hitch a bass boat to. I'll be on you like thigh fat on a dixie chick __________________ Rusty Member #13872 Instead of saying.....you are a discomfort in the back of my front.....one should be able to say...... you are a pain in the a$# 71 GMC LWB 49 Chevy 85 Chevy G20 Check out my website

10-07-2005, 10:25 PM	#13
wugunguy 70 C/10-Work in progress Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 601	You have a better chance of winning at pick-up-sticks using your buttcheeks than ...... heard this from a railroad worker Get over it or lets get it on-I worked with a guy that always said this to anyone who was pissed off at him-he's 73 and strong as an ox. He also said That sticks out like a diamond in a goats ass If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bull**** That'll go over like a fart in church Hitch up your high-waters and hold on to your jock-straps cause it's getting deep in here __________________ In the garage 1999 Dodge Dakota Sport-Daily Driver 1972 Chevy K/5 CST AC/PS/PB/4x4/Tow Hooks/Tilt 1970 Chevy C/10-Current project Last edited by wugunguy; 10-07-2005 at 10:33 PM.

10-08-2005, 12:29 AM	#14
64fleetside Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: arkieland Posts: 1,070	I smell what you're stepping in.

10-08-2005, 07:56 PM	#15
special-K Special Order Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Mt Airy, MD Posts: 85,851	He couldn`t pour pi$$ from a boot with directions on the bottom!!! Colder`n a well digger`s a*!! If he had a brain,he`d be dangerous. He thought he was a Big Wheel,till he found out chit didn`t roll. __________________ "BUILDING A BETTER WAY TO SERVE* THE USA"......67/72......"The New Breed" GMC '67 C1500 Wideside Super Custom SWB: 327/M22/3.42 posi.........."The '67" (project) GMC '72 K2500 Wideside Sierra Custom Camper: 350/TH350/4.10 Power-Lok..."The '72" (rolling) Tim "Don't call me a redneck. I'm a rough cut country gentleman" R.I.P. ~ East Side Low Life ~ El Jay ~ 72BLUZ ~ Fasteddie69 ~ Ron586 ~ 67ChevyRedneck ~ Grumpy Old Man ~



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10-08-2005, 09:02 PM	#16
HerLonghorn71 Account Suspended Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 730	This is one my father in law told my husband years ago........I've driven more miles in reverse than you ever will forward...I pissed my self and Dean just got pissed Another good one is well he aint the sharpest crayon in the box There are tons more but my mind just went blank

10-08-2005, 09:15 PM	#17
PanelDeland I am a Referee of life. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Greensboro N.C. Posts: 13,992	I remembered my buddy used to tell me,"Next time I start talking crazy about getting married,remind me to just find some B!+c# I hate and buy her a house!" __________________ The 47-present Chevrolet and GMC Truck Message Board Network,it's owners,moderators,members,and associates of any type should not be held responsible for my opinion. You can't fix stupid,not even with duct tape. "My appearance is due to the fact that "GOD" does punish you for having too much fun!" Barrett-Jackson has perfected alchemy,they make rust into gold! "You can lead a horse to water but you can't saddle a duck" "Cleverly disguised as a 'Responsible Adult' "Sometimes your Knight in shining armor is just a retard in tinfoil"

10-09-2005, 02:11 AM	#18
Brainchild Still drivin' a Rat Rod Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Monett Missouri Posts: 4,925	If someone is dumb,dad would say,If brains were gunpowder you wouldn't be able to blow your nose Some one who can't sing,Can't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it. If someone moved too slow,I'm gonna have to drive a stake behind them to see if they're moving. __________________ Rusty Member #13872 Instead of saying.....you are a discomfort in the back of my front.....one should be able to say...... you are a pain in the a$# 71 GMC LWB 49 Chevy 85 Chevy G20 Check out my website

10-09-2005, 02:28 AM	#19
kingsolver72 10/30/19 Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ottawa kansas Posts: 5,287	Can you sing tenor?Ten or 12 miles from here? Can you sing solo?So low I can't hear you. Monkey see monkey do. See no evil,hear no evil,speak no evil. I wish I was rich to,instead of just good looking. You can tune a piano but, you can't tune a fish. My Grandpa always told me "Never trust a man that wears a belt and suspenders". Your the only living abortion i have ever seen. __________________ Fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith Last edited by kingsolver72; 10-09-2005 at 02:41 AM.

10-09-2005, 02:48 AM	#20
kingsolver72 10/30/19 Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ottawa kansas Posts: 5,287	Tore up from the floor up. 69 used to be my favorite number but now its 77 because you get 8 more. __________________ Fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith

10-09-2005, 03:18 AM	#21
kingsolver72 10/30/19 Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ottawa kansas Posts: 5,287	This is lame but sometimes people will as me "What do you think? My reply: Its too windy to stack b.b.s Its too wet to plow. It takes a big dog to weigh a ton. And if someone asks me what is up: I say: "A line perpedicular to the plane of the circumferance of the earth". Or:"Its all relitive to where you are". "You don't ask a carpet layer "Whats up..you ask him "Whats going down"? And if a customer asks a carpet installer :"How long you been layin carpet? Answer:Countin today?...Or "I watched the Bob Villa video on the way over here. If the custormer asked me.."Hows it goin"? I say;"I am getting the fuzzy side up". I know,I am a walking cliche. __________________ Fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith Last edited by kingsolver72; 10-09-2005 at 03:19 AM.

10-09-2005, 03:34 AM	#22
kingsolver72 10/30/19 Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ottawa kansas Posts: 5,287	An old military sayings. 1.Smoke em if you got em.If you don't,see your squad leader. 2.Squared away. 3.Dust yourself. 4.You have 3 minutes to eat and 2 and a half minutes are already gone. 5.This is my weapon,this is my gun.This is for killin this for fun. 6.Don't call me SIR I work for a living. __________________ Fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith Last edited by kingsolver72; 10-09-2005 at 03:37 AM.

10-09-2005, 07:07 AM	#23
SEVEND2 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Menifee, Calif, USA Posts: 2,146	Want in 1 hand and SH*T in the other, see which fills up faster Dam, Your 5 cans short of a 6 pack Dam thier so stupid they need to take a Long walk off a short pier Build a Machine simple enough for an idiot to run it and only a idiot will run it (quote from my uncle) >> we are all just monkeys in a tree, We see management looking down on us and they see smiling faces looking back at them, We the workers look up and all we see are AZZ HOLES. Hey come here and touch this batt. to your tongue!!!! __________________ With a 1972 Chevy Custom-10 Long bed w/350cid th350, (under-construction). Progress on truck so far (follow link): http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...ad.php?t=51051 and stage 2 http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...ad.php?t=58132 ~ "Why couldn't you have just put the bunny back in the box?" ~

10-09-2005, 06:20 PM	#24
Ironclad454 Registered loser Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Williston ND Posts: 289	okay here's a few more 1. Excuses are like Azzholes, everybody's got one, and they all Stink 2. If it doesn't Fit, get a bigger hammer 3. If it doesn't Fit, Force it, if it breaks it need to be replaced anyway 4. He/She could suck a golfball through a garden hose (talkative people) __________________ -Nate- There is no replacement for displacement 1996 Buick Riviera 3.8L S/C V6- DD 1973 Chevrolet Cheyenne Super C/10 LWB 454/TH350

10-09-2005, 08:50 PM	#25
special-K Special Order Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Mt Airy, MD Posts: 85,851	Dad said,"Watch out for guys with two last names".(Dawson Peterson,Jefferson Montgomery...these are fictitious names) __________________ "BUILDING A BETTER WAY TO SERVE THE USA"......67/72......"The New Breed" GMC '67 C1500 Wideside Super Custom SWB: 327/M22/3.42 posi.........."The '67" (project) GMC '72 K2500 Wideside Sierra Custom Camper: 350/TH350/4.10 Power-Lok..."The '72" (rolling) Tim "Don't call me a redneck. I'm a rough cut country gentleman" R.I.P. ~ East Side Low Life ~ El Jay ~ 72BLUZ ~ Fasteddie69 ~ Ron586 ~ 67ChevyRedneck ~ Grumpy Old Man ~ Last edited by special-K; 10-11-2005 at 06:14 AM.

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