Joke Thread

[notsolo]

Random stuff

[Palf70Step]

Oh so true!

[72 tigger]

Long joke, but funny
A entrepreneur opened a “Husband” store in NY city that consisted of six floors of husbands. A interested lady could shop floor by floor, but could not return to a previously visited floor.
A woman walks in on the first floor and sees: This floor has husbands that have jobs. That’s appealing, but she’s going to keep moving.
The second floor indicated that: This floor has husbands that have jobs and love kids. Pretty good, but I’m going to go up.
Third floor states: This floor has husbands with jobs,love kids and are very handsome. “Wow, probably should shop here” she thinks, but I’m taking my chances.
Fourth floor sign says: This floor sells husbands with jobs,love kids,very handsome and help with housework. She can’t believe her eyes, yet each floor is better than the last- so off to floor five she goes.
Floor number five states: This floor has husbands that have jobs, love kids,very handsome,help with housework and they’re very romantic. “How can they top this?” She wonders, but she just has to see floor six.
As she steps off the elevator on the sixth floor she sees: You’re the 31,438,014th visitor to the top floor! This floor contains no husbands. It solely exists to prove that women are never satisfied!
The owner of the store didn’t want to be seen as biased, so he opened a wife store with the same rules across the street.
A man looking for a bride walked in and saw: This floor sells ladies that love sex. Well, that’s sounds great, but let’s check out the second floor.
Floor number two states: This floor has women that love sex and are very wealthy.
To this date, floors 3-6 have never been visited

[68bowtie]

That sounds pretty accurate to me! Lol

[lousyflyer]

Fair play

[Richard2112]

Lions

[Palf70Step]

...

[Getter-Done]

[Boog]

Originally Posted by Getter-Done

Attachment 2221027

I am only curious, so I'm safe right?

[rgunlock]

I don't "know" this either, but looks like a horn connected to a trailer light plug. For honking at folks behind you?

[kwmech]

I think the pos side of that is a right turn signal feed--brake also. I think it goes right, left, running, ground

[Getter-Done]

Originally Posted by Boog

I am only curious, so I'm safe right?

Yeah

[richard2717]

...

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by richard2717

...

[richard2717]

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. He starts the stop by asking the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer, in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.
Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

[richards72chevy]

FB_IMG_1667413012869.jpg

[tutone]

A blond lady walks into the appliance store. The owner was sitting on a stool behind the counter engrossed in his morning paper.
She says "I'd like to take a look at that TV on the bottom shelf there" ,he folds the corner of the paper over and looks her over and exclaims, " move along lady, we don't serve dumb blonds here".
Upset, she stops at the drug store for some hair color, black. " I'll show him, she says" Next day, she goes in, asks about the tv, same answer.
Third day as a redhead, she dons snglasses and a hat, eases in to try it once more. Nope, "no service for dumb blonds."
Last try, bunette. She goes in and he doesn't even look over his newspaper, he just asked her to leave. Not serving dumb blonds.
She had enough by this point. She said" sir, I've came into your store every day this week and your excuse to not wait on me was that I am a dumb blond. Even with black, red and brown hair you still refuse to sell me that tv. Can you explain yourself, please?
He answered " yes mam, I can. Thats not a tv, it's a microwave."

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by tutone

A blond lady walks into the appliance store. The owner was sitting on a stool behind the counter engrossed in his morning paper.
She says "I'd like to take a look at that TV on the bottom shelf there" ,he folds the corner of the paper over and looks her over and exclaims, " move along lady, we don't serve dumb blonds here".
Upset, she stops at the drug store for some hair color, black. " I'll show him, she says" Next day, she goes in, asks about the tv, same answer.
Third day as a redhead, she dons snglasses and a hat, eases in to try it once more. Nope, "no service for dumb blonds."
Last try, bunette. She goes in and he doesn't even look over his newspaper, he just asked her to leave. Not serving dumb blonds.
She had enough by this point. She said" sir, I've came into your store every day this week and your excuse to not wait on me was that I am a dumb blond. Even with black, red and brown hair you still refuse to sell me that tv. Can you explain yourself, please?
He answered " yes mam, I can. Thats not a tv, it's a microwave."

[Boog]

Good ole days

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by Boog

Good ole days

[SCOTI]

Ahh.... the GoodYears....

[CG]

I broke down and hired a new mechanic to fix some issues I was having problems with.

[Getter-Done]

Originally Posted by CG

I broke down and hired a new mechanic to fix some issues I was having problems with.

Does that make it a Monkey Wrench

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by Getter-Done

Does that make it a Monkey Wrench

[Keith Seymore]

Originally Posted by CG

I broke down and hired a new mechanic to fix some issues I was having problems with.

I've started farming some work out, too.

Dude did good work but was pretty dang slow.

K