![]() |
![]() |
#2501 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,040
|
Re: Joke Thread
A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind." The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy." God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
__________________
Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2502 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,266
|
Re: Joke Thread
men's health made easy
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2503 |
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 681
|
Re: Joke Thread
![]()
__________________
1987 V20 farm-hand rescue 1998 C2500 lot-rot rescue |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2504 |
BlahBlahBlah
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wa.
Posts: 19,872
|
Re: Joke Thread
……
__________________
… … … … … … … … ... … … … … … … … … … … … |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2505 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,266
|
Re: Joke Thread
quick
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2506 |
Post Whore
![]() Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 11,156
|
Re: Joke Thread
__________________
Thanks to Bob and Jeanie and everyone else at Superior Performance for all their great help. ![]() RIP Bob Parks. 1967 Burban (the WMB),1988 S10 Blazer (the Stink10 II),1969 GTO (the Goat), 1970 Javelin, 1952 F2 Ford OHC six 4X4, 29 Model A, 72 Firebird (the DBP Bird). 85 Alfa Romeo If it breaks I didn't want it in the first place The WMB repair thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=698377 |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2507 |
Senior Moment
![]() Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Pittsburg Ca
Posts: 4,139
|
Re: Joke Thread
Lol
__________________
1970 CST LS 1 6 speed Ford 9 inch Detroit Tru Track, Dakota Didgital, Vintage Air, QA1 Coil Overs Front & Rear Lots of FUN 2013 GMC PU, Oldest Son 71 GMC LWB. QA1 Suspension, Angry SB. Youngest Son 2019 GMC Diesil Dually. Youngest Son 2017 Toyota SUV Daughters car 2018 Traverse , Wife’s Ride Pittsburg Ca 94565 |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2508 |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Turlock, CA
Posts: 8,667
|
Re: Joke Thread
Nailed it!!!
__________________
Please help my sister in law with her battle with cancer https://gofund.me/902f6fce Project "C10 Fever" (68 factory black 396 swb) Project "Little Sister" (70 c10 blue original paint refresh) Project "Blue Bomb" (70 c30 blue original paint refresh) SOLD Project "Vitamin C" (71 c10 orange original paint refresh) SOLD |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2509 |
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
![]() Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,117
|
Re: Joke Thread
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2510 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,266
|
Re: Joke Thread
it's hot!
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2511 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,040
|
Re: Joke Thread
finally got my garage door replaced this weekend. what a pain in the ass. Seemed like all the instructions were wrong, but i got it.
.
__________________
Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2512 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,266
|
Re: Joke Thread
I have used that machine and yes it did dispense adult beverages too.
![]()
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2513 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,040
|
Re: Joke Thread
My last one finally gave up the ghost last year. The old ones like that kept everything right above ice levels. I don't drink any kind of soda anymore so I never replaced it.
__________________
Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2514 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,040
|
Re: Joke Thread
I'm just back from Walmart I have to tell you this, I was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He had his hands full with the child screaming for candies, toys and all sorts of other kiddo things.
The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, William, we won’t be long . . . easy boy.” Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say : “It’s okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.” At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Granddad says again in a controlled voice : “William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay cool William.” Well, i was really impressed, so i went outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I said to the Grandad “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad.” “Thanks,” said the Granddad. “But I am William. The little bastard’s name is Kevin.
__________________
Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2515 | |
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
![]() Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,117
|
Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2516 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,266
|
Re: Joke Thread
![]() ![]()
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2517 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,266
|
Re: Joke Thread
I'm here to tell ya I had it used on me plenty of times in my youth!
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2518 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,266
|
Re: Joke Thread
"Rabbi,I'm going to a seaside on vacation,but I've heard that women there can be dressed very immodestly. So rabbi,can an ortodox Jew look at a woman wearing mini skirt and low neckline shirt?"
"Yes he can." "And a bikini?" "Yes he can" "And what about topless?" "Yes he can" "So rabbi,are there any things Jew should not look at?" "There are" "What would they be?" "Welding."
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2519 | |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Waterford California
Posts: 2,531
|
Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
The guy that owned and maintained it went on vacation and his son was refilling it for a couple of weeks. He evidently did not know or did not care that the drinks had certain rows or slots because it was a Roulette Wheel as to what would come out the bottom. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2520 |
Who Changed This?
![]() Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Simi Valley, CA
Posts: 10,431
|
Re: Joke Thread
^ When I worked as a mechanic, the owner put cheapo Smart&Final pop in the vending machine. The labels read "Coke", etc. A lot of people were not pleased.
I remember playing cards in the barracks when I was in Navy "A"-school and buying beer from a vending machine. 35¢ a can, iirc.
__________________
~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2521 | |
Senior Member
![]() ![]() Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Near Canon City ,Colorado
Posts: 3,976
|
Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
'35 1/2 ton Pickup (bought 2020) '68 C10 Suburban (bought 2021) '72 K5 Blazer (bought 2013) '67 Stepside (bought 1997-sold 2021) '96 Bronco Eddie Bauer (inherited 2010) My 1st day here-'67 C10(sold)and '72 K5 Blazer http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=702056 "Another Blue Chevy"(1935) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=799203 ![]() ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2522 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,040
|
Re: Joke Thread
gear
__________________
Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2523 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,040
|
Re: Joke Thread
help
__________________
Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2524 |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: TN.
Posts: 8,138
|
Re: Joke Thread
I can Totally understand this.
![]() ![]() ![]() I take instructions from an (Almost )40 year experienced person. He's got Experience alright. ![]() He has been Flubbing Up for that long (He got it Down Pat) and think he Knows Everything. ![]()
__________________
________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2525 | |
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
![]() Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,117
|
Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
![]()
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
Bookmarks |
|
|