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01-15-2021, 10:20 AM
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#326 |
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Equal opportunity joke ofender
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,091
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Re: Joke Thread
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
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01-15-2021, 12:40 PM
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#327 |
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Equal opportunity joke ofender
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,091
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Re: Joke Thread
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
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01-15-2021, 01:17 PM
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#328 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
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Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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01-16-2021, 11:34 AM
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#329 | |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Colfax-California
Posts: 8,596
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Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
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01-16-2021, 12:21 PM
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#330 |
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laying low
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,441
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Re: Joke Thread
I knew old Joe reminded me of somebody I had seen and now I know. He's actually Walter!!!
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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01-16-2021, 01:22 PM
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#331 | |
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Proprietor of Dale's Corner
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,242
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Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
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"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man R.I.P. FleetsidePaul |
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01-16-2021, 01:31 PM
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#332 |
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laying low
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,441
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Re: Joke Thread
pssst. They're all the same guyyyyy.
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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01-16-2021, 01:37 PM
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#333 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: TN.
Posts: 8,315
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Re: Joke Thread
Careful
You will wake up Grumpy .
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________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build |
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01-16-2021, 01:42 PM
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#334 |
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Proprietor of Dale's Corner
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,242
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Re: Joke Thread
You guys crack me up!
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"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man R.I.P. FleetsidePaul |
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01-16-2021, 02:19 PM
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#335 |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
Grumpy ...
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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01-16-2021, 02:37 PM
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#336 |
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laying low
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,441
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Re: Joke Thread
Grumpy er.
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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01-16-2021, 03:34 PM
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#337 |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
Speaking of open range:
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Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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01-16-2021, 06:58 PM
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#338 |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
Copy Cat
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Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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01-16-2021, 09:31 PM
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#339 | |||
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Proprietor of Dale's Corner
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,242
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Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man R.I.P. FleetsidePaul |
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01-16-2021, 09:40 PM
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#340 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: TN.
Posts: 8,315
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Re: Joke Thread
.
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________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build |
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01-18-2021, 02:01 PM
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#341 |
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Equal opportunity joke ofender
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,091
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Re: Joke Thread
Mule Trading
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Pearl River , LA. and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night." Boudreaux & Thibodeaux replied, “Well, then just give us our money back." The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already." They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule." The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?" Boudreaux said, "We gonna raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!" Thibodeaux said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!" A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Boudreaux & Thibodeaux at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked. "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?" They said, “We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do." Leroy said, "Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998." The farmer said, “My Lord, didn't anyone complain?" Boudreaux said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back." Boudreaux and Thibodeaux now work for the government. They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs. Limit all U.S. politicians to two Terms. One in office One in prison
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
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01-18-2021, 02:05 PM
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#342 |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
Technically a profit of $898 after subtracting the $100 paid for the dead mule.
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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01-19-2021, 10:06 PM
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#343 |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
Just in case I suddenly stop posting, you will know tha
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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01-19-2021, 10:21 PM
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#344 | |
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Proprietor of Dale's Corner
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,242
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Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
really!
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man R.I.P. FleetsidePaul |
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01-20-2021, 10:34 PM
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#345 |
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Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Harrison, Arkansas
Posts: 9,835
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Re: Joke Thread
A politician visited a remote little rural village
and asked the locals what the government could do for them. "We have two big needs,” said the village headman. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor.” The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said, “I have sorted that out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?” We have no cellphone reception in our village !!
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other Larry Build thread, Arkansas K10 https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...=755797&page=5 The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. |
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01-20-2021, 10:42 PM
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#346 | |
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Proprietor of Dale's Corner
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,242
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Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
OMG!! That's funny! Reminds me of my cabin.
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man R.I.P. FleetsidePaul |
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01-21-2021, 11:01 AM
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#347 |
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laying low
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,441
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Re: Joke Thread
Shenanigans, because life is more fun when you're up to something.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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01-21-2021, 05:12 PM
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#348 |
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Equal opportunity joke ofender
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,091
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Re: Joke Thread
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher. Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Jenny," said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath... Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Chip & Dip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog poop!" Then I would say, "It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush? I used the government approach of giving you something crappy for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth."
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
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01-21-2021, 05:25 PM
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#349 |
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Equal opportunity joke ofender
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,091
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Re: Joke Thread
Manager Had To Hire A New Employee. He Asked 4 Applicants The Same Question, The Last Answer Is Priceless!
A manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know of?” The first man replied, “A thought. It just pops into your head. There’s no warning.” “That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. “And, now you sir?” he asked the second man. “Hmm, let me see, a blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of.” “Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.” He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. “Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house, and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.” The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light,” he said. Turning to Bob, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Old Bob replied, “After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is Diarrhea.” “What!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response. “Oh sure,” said Bob. “You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I had already sh*t my pants.” Bob is now the new greeter at a Walmart near you!
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
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01-21-2021, 10:59 PM
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#350 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Wisconsin & Arizona
Posts: 4,847
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Re: Joke Thread
GOOGLE PIZZA
CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut? GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza. CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry. GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month. CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza. GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir? CALLER: My usual? You know me? GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust. CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have. GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust? CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza! GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir. CALLER: How the hell do you know that? GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago. CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement. CALLER: I paid in cash. GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. CALLER: I have other sources of cash. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law! CALLER: WHAT THE HELL! GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me. GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago... Welcome to the future 🤖
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Jim |
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