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#701 |
R.I.P. E.S.L.L.
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Location: Kernville CA./ Lake Isabella CA.
Posts: 11,419
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Re: Joke Thread
Two drunk guys walk into a bar and proceed to get even more intoxicated to the point that one guy barfs all over his shirt.
He looks in horror. My wife is going to kill me. His friend says not to worry. Just put this $10 bill in your pocket and tell your wife someone bumped into you and barfed on your shirt and felt bad. So he gave you $10 to get it cleaned. So when he gets home his wife is yelling at him. He tells his wife the story. He says the guy felt bad about barfing on his shirt and gave him $10. He tells her to check his pocket. She pulls out the bill and says this is $20 Yeah. He nods. He also sh*t in my pants.
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1971 Custom C/20 ![]() 1970 CST 20 1970 C/30 Flatbed 1983 C/30 Dually 2015 Corvette Z51 2021 Corvette Z51 1991 Cadillac Hearse 1982 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz 2000 Porsche Boxster S 2020 Jeep Gladiator 1973 VW Thing 1973 Plymouth Satellite wagon 1963 Baja Bug 1959 Bug Dune Buggy 1970 Baja Bug 1987 Jaguar XJ 350. R.I.P. El Jay R.I.P Jessie. R.I.P Grumpy. Every day is a gift from God. |
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#702 |
Designated Grumpy Old Man
![]() Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: arlington, washington usa
Posts: 3,092
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Re: Joke Thread
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife.. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloomin'well pouring with rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! "God loves drunk people too you know." The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story 71 Chev 1/2 ton 4X4 LWB Fleetside SOLD http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=361222 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LgREwtDfaA 68 Chev 1 ton flat bed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bO8szzlD4A 56 Chev Handyman Wagon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y-6ddpBTkM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbLzZ7zY8wA 56 Chev Belair http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=410667 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoW0Ei7ZNIg |
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#703 |
Designated Grumpy Old Man
![]() Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: arlington, washington usa
Posts: 3,092
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Re: Joke Thread
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!" Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?" "Very well", said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story 71 Chev 1/2 ton 4X4 LWB Fleetside SOLD http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=361222 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LgREwtDfaA 68 Chev 1 ton flat bed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bO8szzlD4A 56 Chev Handyman Wagon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y-6ddpBTkM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbLzZ7zY8wA 56 Chev Belair http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=410667 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoW0Ei7ZNIg |
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#704 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
Social distancing has been particularly stressful on the Flat Earth Society.
They fear such measures will push someone over the edge..
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#705 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
Veterinary clinic signs
I don't always neuter dogs. But when I do I take Dos Testes
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#706 |
Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
wood you look at that!
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Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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#707 |
Who Changed This?
![]() Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Simi Valley, CA
Posts: 10,388
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Re: Joke Thread
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~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA |
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#708 |
Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
That's okay - just gonna use it for his Porch
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__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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#709 |
Who Changed This?
![]() Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Simi Valley, CA
Posts: 10,388
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Re: Joke Thread
__________________
~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA |
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#710 |
Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
nuts are good to eat
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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#711 |
Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.”
The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!” The first guy says, “So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?” The other guy answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.” The first guy responds, “Sure and begorrah, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?” The other guy says, “A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.” The first guy says, “Faith & it’s a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?” The other guy answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s of course.” The first guy gets really excited, and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?” The other guy answers, “Well, now, I graduated in 1964.” The first guy exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self.” About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight.” The guy asks, “Why do you say that?” “The Murphy twins are drunk again.”
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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#712 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
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__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#713 |
Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
McGillicuddy told O'Brien, "One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in December."
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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#714 |
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
![]() Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,096
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Re: Joke Thread
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"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man |
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#715 |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: TN.
Posts: 8,089
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Re: Joke Thread
.
.
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________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build |
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#716 |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Turlock, CA
Posts: 8,649
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Re: Joke Thread
Took this pic today... lol
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Please help my sister in law with her battle with cancer https://gofund.me/902f6fce Project "C10 Fever" (68 factory black 396 swb) Project "Little Sister" (70 c10 blue original paint refresh) Project "Blue Bomb" (70 c30 blue original paint refresh) SOLD Project "Vitamin C" (71 c10 orange original paint refresh) SOLD |
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#717 |
R.I.P. E.S.L.L.
![]() ![]() Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Kernville CA./ Lake Isabella CA.
Posts: 11,419
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Re: Joke Thread
I went to a hypnotist to quit smoking. He put me under a spell, and every time I had a craving for a cigarette, I would throw up.
It's very embarrassing right after sex. It's pretty hard to get that second date after that. Girls get all snobby after you barf on them.
__________________
1971 Custom C/20 ![]() 1970 CST 20 1970 C/30 Flatbed 1983 C/30 Dually 2015 Corvette Z51 2021 Corvette Z51 1991 Cadillac Hearse 1982 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz 2000 Porsche Boxster S 2020 Jeep Gladiator 1973 VW Thing 1973 Plymouth Satellite wagon 1963 Baja Bug 1959 Bug Dune Buggy 1970 Baja Bug 1987 Jaguar XJ 350. R.I.P. El Jay R.I.P Jessie. R.I.P Grumpy. Every day is a gift from God. |
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#718 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,014
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Re: Joke Thread
pass
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
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#719 |
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
![]() Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,096
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Re: Joke Thread
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"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man |
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#720 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,014
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Re: Joke Thread
flare
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
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#721 |
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
![]() Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,096
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Re: Joke Thread
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man |
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#722 |
State of Confusion!
![]() ![]() Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Gulfport, MS USA
Posts: 46,859
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Re: Joke Thread
It looks like it will hold up well too. On a ole 4x4 beater like that, I think it looks good.
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Bill 1970 Chevy Custom/10 LWB Fleetside 2010 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner SR5 Double Cab - DD Member of Louisiana Classic Truck Club (LCTC) Bill's Gallery Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God! |
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#723 | |
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: DALLAS,TX
Posts: 21,964
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Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
For a true off road vehicle, it's functional & impact resistant which is what matters.
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67SWB-B.B.RetroRod 64SWB-Recycle 89CCDually-Driver/Tow Truck 99CCSWB Driver All Fleetsides @rattlecankustoms in IG Building a small, high rpm engine with the perfect bore, stroke and rod ratio is very impressive. It's like a highly skilled Morrocan sword fighter with a Damascus Steel Scimitar..... Cubic inches is like Indiana Jones with a cheap pistol. |
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#724 |
Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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#725 |
Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
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Re: Joke Thread
I've thought about that wide flat industrial belting for fender liner ...?
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
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