Joke Thread - Page 31 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

**71CHEVYSHORTBED402** · 06-15-2021, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Palf70Step

**FleetsidePaul** · 06-15-2021, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rich84

That is the truth..Is that yellow one yours??

No. Mine has black stripes. But I thought it was funny. There are 4 guys with Corvettes in my small town and every one of them has gray hair.

**Palf70Step** · 06-17-2021, 05:08 AM

**richard2717** · 06-18-2021, 09:11 AM

body

**Getter-Done** · 06-18-2021, 12:15 PM

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**Getter-Done** · 06-18-2021, 12:23 PM

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Whoops

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**68bowtie** · 06-18-2021, 12:48 PM

It seems like this lady yells A LOT

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**truckster** · 06-18-2021, 03:01 PM

Age check - who knows what this is?

It's a finger-burner. It makes a nice spiral burn.

**Getter-Done** · 06-18-2021, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truckster

Age check - who knows what this is?

It's a finger-burner. It makes a nice spiral burn.

So you have done that too

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**richard2717** · 06-20-2021, 07:16 AM

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the golf ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife. ��
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
Note: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women just never listen ! ��

**Getter-Done** · 06-20-2021, 10:02 AM

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**richard2717** · 06-22-2021, 10:57 AM

Well ****.. I think my license might be in jeopardy..
and all just because of a stupid state trooper...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike:
Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"
Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."
Trooper: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"
Me: "A car."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"So, you're drunk."
Me:"But I didn't drink anything."
Trooper:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?
Me:"A motorcycle."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"
Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.
Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"
Trooper:"A prostitute of course."
Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"
Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

72c20customcamper · 06-22-2021, 11:05 AM

We dont get old .

Killer Bee · 06-22-2021, 02:22 PM

**Ol Blue K20** · 06-22-2021, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Killer Bee

That's scary!

SCOTI · 06-22-2021, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol Blue K20

That's scary!

Three...
Two..
One.

I would be worried if he had used a Diehard though.....

**Wgesnerjr** · 06-22-2021, 03:59 PM

Safety first!!

**Steeveedee** · 06-22-2021, 04:28 PM

I really really hope that that is just staged.

Diehard.

**kwmech** · 06-22-2021, 04:44 PM

There is always this one. You have to look at it several times to see everything

**Getter-Done** · 06-22-2021, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Killer Bee

They need a cat

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**Steeveedee** · 06-22-2021, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwmech

There is always this one. You have to look at it several times to see everything

Yike. I worked at a shop that had an engine hoist made from 15# I-beams. I'd've trusted my life under it. Some guys were pulling an engine from a truck, and forgot to unbolt the ground straps. That thing lifted the truck off the ground before they figured the problem out. SMH I guess that tells us how strong those ground straps and those little 5/16" fasteners really are!

**richard2717** · 06-23-2021, 11:48 AM

bulb

**richard2717** · 06-23-2021, 05:26 PM

drive

**71CHEVYSHORTBED402** · 06-23-2021, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wgesnerjr

Safety first!!

Near equal cheap jack stands.

**Getter-Done** · 06-23-2021, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

drive

Best yet A+

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06-17-2021, 05:08 AM	#753
Palf70Step State of Confusion! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Gulfport, MS USA Posts: 47,090	Re: Joke Thread Attached Images __________________ Bill 1970 Chevy Custom/10 LWB Fleetside 2010 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner SR5 Double Cab - DD Member of Louisiana Classic Truck Club (LCTC) Bill's Gallery Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God!

06-18-2021, 09:11 AM	#754
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,099	Re: Joke Thread body Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

06-18-2021, 12:15 PM	#755
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,329	Re: Joke Thread . . __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

06-18-2021, 12:23 PM	#756
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,329	Re: Joke Thread . Whoops . __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

06-18-2021, 12:48 PM	#757
68bowtie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Turlock, CA Posts: 8,745	Re: Joke Thread It seems like this lady yells A LOT __________________ Please help my sister in law with her battle with cancer https://gofund.me/902f6fce Project "C10 Fever" (68 factory black 396 swb) Project "Little Sister" (70 c10 blue original paint refresh) Project "Blue Bomb" (70 c30 blue original paint refresh) SOLD Project "Vitamin C" (71 c10 orange original paint refresh) SOLD

06-18-2021, 03:01 PM	#758
truckster Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Orem, Utah Posts: 7,957	Re: Joke Thread Age check - who knows what this is? It's a finger-burner. It makes a nice spiral burn. __________________ I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson

06-20-2021, 07:16 AM	#760
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,099	Re: Joke Thread A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the golf ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Male readers: Please scroll down. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife. �� Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show. Note: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women just never listen ! �� __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

06-20-2021, 10:02 AM	#761
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,329	Re: Joke Thread . . __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

06-22-2021, 10:57 AM	#762
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,099	Re: Joke Thread Well **.. I think my license might be in jeopardy.. and all just because of a stupid state trooper... The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike: Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!" Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything." Trooper: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?" Me: "A car." Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?" Me:"I have no idea!" Trooper:"So, you're drunk." Me:"But I didn't drink anything." Trooper:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it? Me:"A motorcycle." Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?" Me:"I have no idea!" Trooper:"As I suspected, you're drunk!" Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question. Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?" Trooper:"A prostitute of course." Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?" Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend... __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts** Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

06-22-2021, 11:05 AM	#763
72c20customcamper Registered User Join Date: Jul 2018 Location: Catskill Mountains,NY Posts: 8,645	Re: Joke Thread We dont get old . Attached Images __________________ Mark 72 c20 custom camper Husky edition, 66 SS396 Chevelle 1964 Hawk, 63 Avanti,62 lark 1969 AMX , 1968 c20 stepside ,85 K20 1977 Suburban sold 68 anniversary.

06-22-2021, 02:22 PM	#764
Killer Bee Registered User Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: Barber City, CA Posts: 4,796	Re: Joke Thread __________________ *I started out with nothing - and I still have most of it*

06-22-2021, 03:59 PM	#767
Wgesnerjr Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Atlanta, GA. Posts: 737	Re: Joke Thread Safety first!! __________________ Jay Gesner Atlanta, GA 1985 C10 Long Bed 4X2 LS 5.3, 4L60E Father/Daughter Project

06-22-2021, 04:28 PM	#768
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,611	Re: Joke Thread I really really hope that that is just staged. Diehard. __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

06-22-2021, 04:44 PM	#769
kwmech Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Colfax-California Posts: 8,602	Re: Joke Thread There is always this one. You have to look at it several times to see everything Attached Images

06-23-2021, 11:48 AM	#772
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,099	Re: Joke Thread bulb Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.



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06-23-2021, 05:26 PM	#773
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,099	Re: Joke Thread drive Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

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