Joke Thread - Page 36 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-10-2021, 01:35 AM

WTF? Why is that guy in a cage to pump up a tire? I'm lost.

Just stick the hose in and take you chances. Like I did with his sister.

**Steeveedee** · 08-10-2021, 10:05 AM

You never worked on those big tires, especially split rims? If you put the ring on wrong, it can come apart and kill you. Thus, the cage. The tire and wheel are supposed to be inside the cage. Maybe he just got back from a gulag?

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-10-2021, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

You never worked on those big tires, especially split rims? If you put the ring on wrong, it can come apart and kill you. Thus, the cage. The tire and wheel are supposed to be inside the cage. Maybe he just got back from a gulag?

I guess that makes sense.

Tires are like women. I know nothing about them other than that they need to be replaced every few years.

57taskforce · 08-10-2021, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

Just stick the hose in and take you chances. Like I did with his sister.

Shifty One · 08-10-2021, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

Just stick the hose in and take you chances. Like I did with his sister.

**Ol Blue K20** · 08-10-2021, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

I guess that makes sense.

Tires are like women. I know nothing about them other than that they need to be replaced every few years.

I hope your (current) wife Doesn'tread this......

**Steeveedee** · 08-10-2021, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol Blue K20

I hope your (current) wife Doesn'tread this......

you should see the jokes we're trading in PMs...

**davischevy** · 08-10-2021, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 57taskforce

Don't laugh at Paul, Tyler.

Your family is getting large enough that it could get expensive to follow in his footsteps.

LT7A · 08-11-2021, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

You never worked on those big tires, especially split rims? If you put the ring on wrong, it can come apart and kill you. Thus, the cage. The tire and wheel are supposed to be inside the cage. Maybe he just got back from a gulag?

Ha, you can see him standing on the little bumps that are meant to keep the tire from rolling out.

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-11-2021, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol Blue K20

I hope your (current) wife Doesn't read this......

No worries. She doesn't listen to me.

57taskforce · 08-11-2021, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davischevy

Don't laugh at Paul, Tyler.

Your family is getting large enough that it could get expensive to follow in his footsteps.

Larry, I don’t worry much about her cleaning me out financially if things went in the way of Paul. You over look the fact that her veins are full of Indian blood. I fear the tomahawk more than the money

For the woke crowd, (doesn’t seem to be much of one here) my wife is 4/4 Native American so back off

**Boog** · 08-12-2021, 02:04 PM

Oh , well. That may be how they use them there. Look at his t shirt.

**Getter-Done** · 08-15-2021, 09:58 PM

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,....../

**Steeveedee** · 08-16-2021, 01:46 PM

Bigfoot is often confused for Sasquatch. Yeti never complains.

72c20customcamper · 08-16-2021, 07:51 PM

It's the thought that counts

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-17-2021, 12:19 AM

I want this. I want it bad.

**LockDoc** · 08-17-2021, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

I want this. I want it bad.

It's actually mounted upside down. Mine...err ahh, I mean my buddies, is mounted with the wider side at the bottom...

.. Easier to see whats on the shelves that way and you can use the handle for a towel bar.

LockDoc

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-17-2021, 12:08 PM

What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and wet?

Chewing gum....

Get your mind out of the gutter.

**richard2717** · 08-17-2021, 02:48 PM

Teacher Arrested At Pearson Airport
A high school teacher was arrested today at Toronto's Pearson Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a press conference, Premier Kathleen Wynne said she believes the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement.
She did not identify the man, who has been charged by the OPP with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Premier said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns"; but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are three sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister Trudeau said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
Fellow Liberal colleagues told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by any Prime Minister

**richard2717** · 08-18-2021, 02:24 PM

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards then backwards, forward then backward, again and again.
Back and forth, back and forth, in and out,
a little to the right, a little to the left, she could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts, and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding, her face was flushed, she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.
Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,
"OK, OK, I can't parallel park-----------you do it, you smug S.O.B."

**richard2717** · 08-19-2021, 07:35 AM

A manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know of?”
The first man replied, “A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There’s no warning.”
“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer.
“And, now you sir?” he asked the second man. “Hmm, let me see, a BLINK! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of.”
“Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.”
He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. “Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house, and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.”
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light,” he said.
Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, “After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA!”
“What!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
“Oh sure,” said Bubba. “You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already sh*t my pants.”
Bubba is now the new greeter at a Walmart near you!

**richard2717** · 08-19-2021, 11:33 AM

silent

**Ol Blue K20** · 08-19-2021, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

silent

Some good ones today

**Stocker** · 08-19-2021, 02:55 PM

Wife ---- a smart Husband is silent

weq92f · 08-20-2021, 11:12 AM

.

This is kinda neat...

08-10-2021, 01:35 AM	#876
FleetsidePaul R.I.P. E.S.L.L. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Kernville CA./ Lake Isabella CA. Posts: 11,419	Re: Joke Thread WTF? Why is that guy in a cage to pump up a tire? I'm lost. Just stick the hose in and take you chances. Like I did with his sister. __________________ 1971 Custom C/20 1970 CST 20 1970 C/30 Flatbed 1983 C/30 Dually 2015 Corvette Z51 2021 Corvette Z51 1991 Cadillac Hearse 1982 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz 2000 Porsche Boxster S 2020 Jeep Gladiator 1973 VW Thing 1973 Plymouth Satellite wagon 1963 Baja Bug 1959 Bug Dune Buggy 1970 Baja Bug 1987 Jaguar XJ 350. R.I.P. El Jay R.I.P Jessie. R.I.P Grumpy. Every day is a gift from God.

08-10-2021, 10:05 AM	#877
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,598	Re: Joke Thread You never worked on those big tires, especially split rims? If you put the ring on wrong, it can come apart and kill you. Thus, the cage. The tire and wheel are supposed to be inside the cage. Maybe he just got back from a gulag? __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

08-12-2021, 02:04 PM	#887
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,452	Re: Joke Thread Oh , well. That may be how they use them there. Look at his t shirt. __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross

08-15-2021, 09:58 PM	#888
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,319	Re: Joke Thread . ........................... ,....../ __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

08-16-2021, 01:46 PM	#889
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,598	Re: Joke Thread Bigfoot is often confused for Sasquatch. Yeti never complains. __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

08-16-2021, 07:51 PM	#890
72c20customcamper Registered User Join Date: Jul 2018 Location: Catskill Mountains,NY Posts: 8,637	Re: Joke Thread It's the thought that counts Attached Images __________________ Mark 72 c20 custom camper Husky edition, 66 SS396 Chevelle 1964 Hawk, 63 Avanti,62 lark 1969 AMX , 1968 c20 stepside ,85 K20 1977 Suburban sold 68 anniversary.

08-17-2021, 12:19 AM	#891
FleetsidePaul R.I.P. E.S.L.L. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Kernville CA./ Lake Isabella CA. Posts: 11,419	Re: Joke Thread I want this. I want it bad. __________________ 1971 Custom C/20 1970 CST 20 1970 C/30 Flatbed 1983 C/30 Dually 2015 Corvette Z51 2021 Corvette Z51 1991 Cadillac Hearse 1982 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz 2000 Porsche Boxster S 2020 Jeep Gladiator 1973 VW Thing 1973 Plymouth Satellite wagon 1963 Baja Bug 1959 Bug Dune Buggy 1970 Baja Bug 1987 Jaguar XJ 350. R.I.P. El Jay R.I.P Jessie. R.I.P Grumpy. Every day is a gift from God.

08-17-2021, 12:08 PM	#893
FleetsidePaul R.I.P. E.S.L.L. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Kernville CA./ Lake Isabella CA. Posts: 11,419	Re: Joke Thread What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and wet? Chewing gum.... Get your mind out of the gutter. __________________ 1971 Custom C/20 1970 CST 20 1970 C/30 Flatbed 1983 C/30 Dually 2015 Corvette Z51 2021 Corvette Z51 1991 Cadillac Hearse 1982 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz 2000 Porsche Boxster S 2020 Jeep Gladiator 1973 VW Thing 1973 Plymouth Satellite wagon 1963 Baja Bug 1959 Bug Dune Buggy 1970 Baja Bug 1987 Jaguar XJ 350. R.I.P. El Jay R.I.P Jessie. R.I.P Grumpy. Every day is a gift from God.

08-17-2021, 02:48 PM	#894
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,093	Re: Joke Thread Teacher Arrested At Pearson Airport A high school teacher was arrested today at Toronto's Pearson Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a press conference, Premier Kathleen Wynne said she believes the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement. She did not identify the man, who has been charged by the OPP with carrying weapons of maths instruction. 'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Premier said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns"; but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are three sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister Trudeau said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." Fellow Liberal colleagues told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by any Prime Minister __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

08-18-2021, 02:24 PM	#895
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,093	Re: Joke Thread He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards then backwards, forward then backward, again and again. Back and forth, back and forth, in and out, a little to the right, a little to the left, she could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts, and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding, her face was flushed, she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted, "OK, OK, I can't parallel park-----------you do it, you smug S.O.B." __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

08-19-2021, 07:35 AM	#896
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,093	Re: Joke Thread A manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know of?” The first man replied, “A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There’s no warning.” “That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. “And, now you sir?” he asked the second man. “Hmm, let me see, a BLINK! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of.” “Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.” He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. “Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house, and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.” The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light,” he said. Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Old Bubba replied, “After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA!” “What!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response. “Oh sure,” said Bubba. “You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already sht my pants.” Bubba is now the new greeter at a Walmart near you! __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts* Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

08-19-2021, 11:33 AM	#897
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,093	Re: Joke Thread silent Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

08-19-2021, 02:55 PM	#899
Stocker 20' Daredevil (Ret) Join Date: May 2003 Location: Jefferson State Posts: 13,692	Re: Joke Thread Wife ---- a smart Husband is silent __________________ - Mike - 1972 K20 LWB 350/350/205 RIP El Jay

08-20-2021, 11:12 AM	#900
weq92f Registered User Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Dallas Texas Posts: 3,157	Re: Joke Thread . This is kinda neat... Attached Images __________________ 67 C10 fleet fuel injected '70 402, 700r4, 3.73 posi 07 335 sport turbo 6sp 94 Trans Am GT LT1 6sp posi -- sold after 22yrs 99 540 sport V8 6sp -- sold 73 240z L24 4sp -- given to friend 68 C10 step 350/350 3.73 open -- sold



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