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Old 08-30-2021, 05:50 PM   #926
Stocker
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Re: Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by 71CHEVYSHORTBED402 View Post
I don't know if this is a repeat but might be worth it anyway....I told my "barber" she should watch this sometime, she's pretty hot
Thanks, you just made my day!
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Old 08-31-2021, 02:12 PM   #927
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Re: Joke Thread

about time
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Old 08-31-2021, 08:17 PM   #928
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Re: Joke Thread

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about time
I hate the smell of WD-40. My wife saw some post on Facebook or somewhere that said that it has hundreds of uses around the house, like keeping drains flowing, so she bought a case of it. Lucky me...
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Old 08-31-2021, 08:37 PM   #929
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Re: Joke Thread

Customer states car has no power
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Old 08-31-2021, 08:56 PM   #930
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Re: Joke Thread

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Customer states car has no power
That looks like a custom grind.
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Old 09-01-2021, 10:42 AM   #931
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Re: Joke Thread

it's a fan you can't screw that up
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Old 09-01-2021, 12:37 PM   #932
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Re: Joke Thread

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it's a fan you can't screw that up
My buddy was an aerial observer. He would love that fan.
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Old 09-01-2021, 05:11 PM   #933
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Re: Joke Thread

A 90yr old man walks into his doctor, & asks about Viagra....Dock says, are you sure that sex is good for you @ your age? The old man replies....Sex, hell no, I just want it to stick out far enough so I dont whizz on my new golf shoes! longhorn
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Old 09-01-2021, 06:45 PM   #934
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Re: Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Gregski View Post
it's a fan you can't screw that up
I so want that fan!
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Old 09-01-2021, 08:00 PM   #935
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Re: Joke Thread

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I so want that fan!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bthU_jCJ9WE&t=8s
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Old 09-02-2021, 12:28 AM   #936
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Re: Joke Thread

man he did exactly what he was told to do
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Old 09-02-2021, 06:32 AM   #937
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Re: Joke Thread

,
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The key to the boot is Probably in the ashtray

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Old 09-02-2021, 07:53 AM   #938
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Re: Joke Thread

vac
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 09-02-2021, 10:24 AM   #939
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Re: Joke Thread

and my fave is all the stupid stickers on the drivers side window blocking your blind spot yet warning you about stupid stuff
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Old 09-02-2021, 02:53 PM   #940
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Re: Joke Thread

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.
The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the first job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the sailors."
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Last edited by LockDoc; 09-02-2021 at 08:52 PM. Reason: :)
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Old 09-02-2021, 05:04 PM   #941
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.
The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the first job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the sailors."
I just blew beer out of my nose. Wasn't the punch line I expected.....
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Last edited by LockDoc; 09-02-2021 at 08:52 PM.
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Old 09-02-2021, 10:58 PM   #942
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Re: Joke Thread

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vac
I have the day off Tommorrow.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:36 AM   #943
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Re: Joke Thread

lets just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show, shall we
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Old 09-03-2021, 01:36 PM   #944
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Re: Joke Thread

When I was a kid, we were so poor that we would go out on the porch just before daylight and crow like a rooster, so the neighbors would think we owned chickens.
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Old 09-03-2021, 01:49 PM   #945
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Re: Joke Thread

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When I was a kid, we were so poor that we would go out on the porch just before daylight and crow like a rooster, so the neighbors would think we owned chickens.
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Old 09-03-2021, 01:50 PM   #946
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Re: Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Gregski View Post
lets just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show, shall we
Nobody is that stupid......I hope
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Old 09-03-2021, 01:53 PM   #947
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Re: Joke Thread

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Nobody is that stupid......I hope
you were saying?

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Old 09-03-2021, 02:30 PM   #948
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Re: Joke Thread

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you were saying?

I was wrong!
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Old 09-04-2021, 01:03 PM   #949
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Re: Joke Thread

for the win
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Old 09-05-2021, 01:00 PM   #950
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Re: Joke Thread

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.
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