Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his - Page 4 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

Cochise · 09-11-2008, 05:57 PM

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you, if you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a man so hard that his leg went through him and went back in time and knocked Emilia Earhart's plane down flying over the Atlantic.

A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick can be seen from outer space with the naked eye.

Cochise · 09-11-2008, 05:59 PM

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Critter · 09-11-2008, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yukon Jack

Chuck Norris could open the safe!

GOOD ONE!

1969stepside · 09-11-2008, 07:02 PM

chuck norris went to the virgin islands and came back the virgin islands are now refered to as THE ISLANDS

1969stepside · 09-11-2008, 07:03 PM

chuck Norris doesn't piss his name into snow he pisses his name into concrete

allen123 · 09-11-2008, 09:09 PM

You guy's can thank my Chuck Norris poster on my wall for these.
Not Sure which ones have been posted though.
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

The first rule of Chuck Norris is: You don't talk about Chuck Norris.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Outer space exists because its afaid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear it? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear anything.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roullete with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Ninjas want to grow up to be like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness and possibly foot sized bruises on the face.

chevyboy55 · 09-11-2008, 09:42 PM

Chuck Norris has got you guys snowballed!

(always wanted to use that little guy)

jayharrell · 09-12-2008, 08:18 AM

Chuck Norris is always closer then he apears in the side view mirror, but by that time, its too late.

rod86 · 09-12-2008, 09:01 AM

oh geez gotta love chuck...

there is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures chuck norris has alowed to live.

chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding.

chuck norris counted to infinity... twice...

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

seanconnery · 09-12-2008, 09:46 AM

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

**Chevy Fleetside** · 09-12-2008, 10:24 AM

The first movie I saw with Chuck Norris in. He got his butt kicked.. But then again it was Bruce Lee that was doing the butt kicking. I guess that is a whole other thread..

Then again looks like Chuck gave Bruce a run for his money.

YouTube - bruce lee x chuck norris

Putter · 09-12-2008, 10:42 AM

After a lengthy court battle, NBC agreed to name its new show "Fear Factor", as there were no stunts worthy of being on a show called "Chuck Factor".

Putter · 09-12-2008, 10:43 AM

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.....and by 'fear itself', I mean CHUCK NORRIS

Putter · 09-12-2008, 10:49 AM

Chuck Norris once ripped the spine out of an albino panda bear and wore it as a necklace, used the fluffy white fur to dust his furniture and hung the testicles from his rearview mirror.

In two days he got a "Thank You" card from PETA and a gift certificate to Steaks-By-Mail.

Critter · 09-12-2008, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chevy Fleetside

Then again looks like Chuck gave Bruce a run for his money.

Bruce actually trained Chuck back in the 60's. That probably explains a lot about his bad-assness. Bruce was the man!

rambler · 09-12-2008, 12:25 PM

chuck norris interview

jayharrell · 09-12-2008, 12:41 PM

LOL... that interview is great..

gchemist · 09-12-2008, 08:57 PM

Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris!

jayharrell · 09-12-2008, 10:44 PM

Chuck Norris's beard make's Geraldo's mustach ashames of itself.

gchemist · 09-25-2008, 09:02 PM

Chuck Norris could fix the economy and build nuclear fission.

CG · 09-26-2008, 09:12 PM

TTT this one cracked me up.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

jayharrell · 09-27-2008, 10:26 PM

Chuck Noris CAN tell from a galloping horse.

prairewolf · 09-27-2008, 11:14 PM

I heard that Chuck Norris does not pay taxes, the IRS sent him a letter saying he was going to be audited, He sent them a picture of himself crouching and ready to strike, he has not heard from the IRS since.

09-11-2008, 05:57 PM	#76
Cochise Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Rogers, AR Posts: 298	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you, if you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a man so hard that his leg went through him and went back in time and knocked Emilia Earhart's plane down flying over the Atlantic. A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick can be seen from outer space with the naked eye.

09-11-2008, 05:59 PM	#77
Cochise Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Rogers, AR Posts: 298	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

09-11-2008, 07:02 PM	#79
1969stepside Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Johnson City Tennessee Posts: 1,191	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his chuck norris went to the virgin islands and came back the virgin islands are now refered to as THE ISLANDS __________________ Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for a friend. Members i Have met Earl Slick68 1969 Stepside Build thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...=1#post4253546 Chevy Trucks the longest lasting most dependable trucks on the road

09-11-2008, 07:03 PM	#80
1969stepside Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Johnson City Tennessee Posts: 1,191	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his chuck Norris doesn't piss his name into snow he pisses his name into concrete __________________ Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for a friend. Members i Have met Earl Slick68 1969 Stepside Build thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...=1#post4253546 Chevy Trucks the longest lasting most dependable trucks on the road

09-11-2008, 09:09 PM	#81
allen123 It'll buff out Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Blanchard,Ok Posts: 1,376	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his You guy's can thank my Chuck Norris poster on my wall for these. Not Sure which ones have been posted though. How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris? All of it. The first rule of Chuck Norris is: You don't talk about Chuck Norris. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. Outer space exists because its afaid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris. If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear it? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear anything. Chuck Norris played Russian Roullete with a fully loaded gun and won. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. Ninjas want to grow up to be like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris. Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness and possibly foot sized bruises on the face. __________________ 1972 Chevy c10 swb 2008 CBR600RR Grafitti edition My Build Cody Allen

09-11-2008, 09:42 PM	#82
chevyboy55 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Kelso,Wa Posts: 3,637	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his Chuck Norris has got you guys snowballed! (always wanted to use that little guy) __________________ Great minds think alike,So do ours

09-12-2008, 08:18 AM	#83
jayharrell Gettin By on Gettin By Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Cedar Creek, Tx Posts: 1,033	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his Chuck Norris is always closer then he apears in the side view mirror, but by that time, its too late. __________________ 69 CST10 LWB 455 Buick 00 S10 2.2 Vin5 76 GL1000 Naked 1bl VW carb "Adios to all the concrete; Gonna get me some dirt road back streets" Last edited by jayharrell; 09-12-2008 at 10:56 AM.

09-12-2008, 09:01 AM	#84
rod86 great southern land Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: perth - australia Posts: 6,194	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his oh geez gotta love chuck... there is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures chuck norris has alowed to live. chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding. chuck norris counted to infinity... twice... Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close. The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris. chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear. __________________ rod 86 chevy c10 silverado

09-12-2008, 09:46 AM	#85
seanconnery Registered User Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Towson, MD Posts: 197	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. __________________ G to the M to the C......fool! RIP Jerry Reed "The Snowman"

09-12-2008, 10:42 AM	#87
Putter More Cowbell.... Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Puckett, MS Posts: 3,569	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his After a lengthy court battle, NBC agreed to name its new show "Fear Factor", as there were no stunts worthy of being on a show called "Chuck Factor". __________________ *There once was a member from Puckett.....Who ( fill in the blank blank blank* ) bucket** Last edited by Putter; 09-12-2008 at 10:42 AM.

09-12-2008, 10:43 AM	#88
Putter More Cowbell.... Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Puckett, MS Posts: 3,569	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his There is nothing to fear but fear itself.....and by 'fear itself', I mean CHUCK NORRIS __________________ *There once was a member from Puckett.....Who ( fill in the blank blank blank* ) bucket**

09-12-2008, 10:49 AM	#89
Putter More Cowbell.... Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Puckett, MS Posts: 3,569	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his Chuck Norris once ripped the spine out of an albino panda bear and wore it as a necklace, used the fluffy white fur to dust his furniture and hung the testicles from his rearview mirror. In two days he got a "Thank You" card from PETA and a gift certificate to Steaks-By-Mail. __________________ *There once was a member from Puckett.....Who ( fill in the blank blank blank* ) bucket**

09-12-2008, 12:25 PM	#91
rambler MOVE OVER Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Warrensburg, MO Posts: 5,470	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his chuck norris interview __________________ No matter where you are..... There you are... Buckaroo Banzi

09-12-2008, 12:41 PM	#92
jayharrell Gettin By on Gettin By Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Cedar Creek, Tx Posts: 1,033	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his LOL... that interview is great.. __________________ 69 CST10 LWB 455 Buick 00 S10 2.2 Vin5 76 GL1000 Naked 1bl VW carb "Adios to all the concrete; Gonna get me some dirt road back streets"

09-12-2008, 08:57 PM	#93
gchemist BAD BOW-Silverado XST Join Date: May 2000 Location: Senior Member from Austin, TX Posts: 6,431	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris! __________________ Gerardo a.k.a. Mad Chemist Silverado XST videos



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09-12-2008, 10:44 PM	#94
jayharrell Gettin By on Gettin By Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Cedar Creek, Tx Posts: 1,033	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his Chuck Norris's beard make's Geraldo's mustach ashames of itself. __________________ 69 CST10 LWB 455 Buick 00 S10 2.2 Vin5 76 GL1000 Naked 1bl VW carb "Adios to all the concrete; Gonna get me some dirt road back streets"

09-25-2008, 09:02 PM	#95
gchemist BAD BOW-Silverado XST Join Date: May 2000 Location: Senior Member from Austin, TX Posts: 6,431	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his Chuck Norris could fix the economy and build nuclear fission.

09-26-2008, 09:12 PM	#96
CG BlahBlahBlah Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Wa. Posts: 19,991	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his TTT this one cracked me up. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

09-27-2008, 10:26 PM	#97
jayharrell Gettin By on Gettin By Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Cedar Creek, Tx Posts: 1,033	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his Chuck Noris CAN tell from a galloping horse. __________________ 69 CST10 LWB 455 Buick 00 S10 2.2 Vin5 76 GL1000 Naked 1bl VW carb "Adios to all the concrete; Gonna get me some dirt road back streets"

09-27-2008, 11:14 PM	#98
prairewolf Registered User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: south dakota Posts: 1,895	Re: Can't believe Chuck Norris would do his I heard that Chuck Norris does not pay taxes, the IRS sent him a letter saying he was going to be audited, He sent them a picture of himself crouching and ready to strike, he has not heard from the IRS since.

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