The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network







Register or Log In To remove these advertisements.

Go Back   The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network > Welcome and Discussion > General Discussion

Web 67-72chevytrucks.com


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-16-2022, 06:46 PM   #1226
LT7A
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: PNW
Posts: 3,615
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway. I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study. So I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my cheques. But first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye…

They need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
Then I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote. But I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
-The car isn’t washed
-The bills aren’t paid
-There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
-The flowers don’t have enough water
-There is still only 1 check in my cheque book
-I can’t find the remote
-I can’t find my glasses
-and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.
Plus, when you go back outside, you will discover that the water was turned on and the hose has been running this whole time.
LT7A is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2022, 08:04 AM   #1227
richard2717
Equal opportunity joke ofender
 
richard2717's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,099
Re: Joke Thread

If u in a relationship one of y’all better have good credit. That’s why it’s call significant other( Sign-if-I-Can’t)
__________________
Members I have met.
Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb
https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts
Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
richard2717 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2022, 09:39 AM   #1228
richard2717
Equal opportunity joke ofender
 
richard2717's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,099
Re: Joke Thread

nnnn
Attached Images
 
__________________
Members I have met.
Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb
https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts
Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
richard2717 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2022, 05:57 PM   #1229
richard2717
Equal opportunity joke ofender
 
richard2717's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,099
Re: Joke Thread

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes? This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan .
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned
his grandfather asking,
'Are these plates clean?'
His grandfather replied,
'They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'
For lunch the old man made hamburgers.
Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around
the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,
'Are you sure these plates are clean?'
Without looking up the old man said,
'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.
John yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted!
'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!'
__________________
Members I have met.
Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb
https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts
Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
richard2717 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2022, 08:48 PM   #1230
65truckowner
Senior Member
 
65truckowner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: mountain view arkansas
Posts: 1,305
Re: Joke Thread

65truckowner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2022, 09:17 PM   #1231
68bowtie
Senior Member
 
68bowtie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Turlock, CA
Posts: 8,745
Re: Joke Thread

Yeah my grandma totally did that. Not cool.
__________________
Please help my sister in law with her battle with cancer https://gofund.me/902f6fce

Project "C10 Fever" (68 factory black 396 swb)
Project "Little Sister" (70 c10 blue original paint refresh)
Project "Blue Bomb" (70 c30 blue original paint refresh) SOLD
Project "Vitamin C" (71 c10 orange original paint refresh) SOLD
68bowtie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2022, 09:38 PM   #1232
Sheepdip
Senior Member
 
Sheepdip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Waterford California
Posts: 2,594
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by 68bowtie View Post
Yeah my grandma totally did that. Not cool.
Had some old family friends, both long gone now, she would put the butter dish down for the cat to lick then put it back on the table!

Needless to say, we always ate before we went to visit them. Gross stuff there.
Sheepdip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2022, 11:00 PM   #1233
LT7A
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: PNW
Posts: 3,615
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheepdip View Post
Had some old family friends, both long gone now, she would put the butter dish down for the cat to lick then put it back on the table!

Needless to say, we always ate before we went to visit them. Gross stuff there.
Hahaha, so nasty. Things like that just seem not to occur to be an issue to some people. I have some good friends who are clients, both ran medical practices. They were invited to dinner at one of the physicians' homes; he was the managing partner of one of the practices. He and his wife raised tropical birds and kept the cages in the kitchen...
Smart man, nice guy, good doctor, but seriously, a bunch of birds where you prepare your food?!?

But the cat thing wins, yuck!

Last edited by LT7A; 01-18-2022 at 04:17 PM.
LT7A is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2022, 08:29 AM   #1234
Ol Blue K20
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
 
Ol Blue K20's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,243
Re: Joke Thread

Who would name their dog Coldwater?
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers"

Dale
XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004

R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck
R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man
R.I.P. FleetsidePaul
Ol Blue K20 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2022, 09:21 AM   #1235
richard2717
Equal opportunity joke ofender
 
richard2717's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,099
Re: Joke Thread

gene
Attached Images
 
__________________
Members I have met.
Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb
https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts
Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
richard2717 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2022, 03:34 PM   #1236
richard2717
Equal opportunity joke ofender
 
richard2717's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,099
Re: Joke Thread

Mule Trading
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Pearl River , LA. and bought a mule for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux replied, “Well, then just give us our money back."
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."
The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"
Boudreaux said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
Thibodeaux said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Boudreaux & Thibodeaux at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.
"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said, “We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."
Leroy said,
"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."
The farmer said, “My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"
Boudreaux said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux now work for the government.
They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.
__________________
Members I have met.
Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb
https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts
Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
richard2717 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2022, 03:36 PM   #1237
richard2717
Equal opportunity joke ofender
 
richard2717's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,099
Re: Joke Thread

post
Attached Images
   
__________________
Members I have met.
Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb
https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts
Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
richard2717 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2022, 06:32 PM   #1238
Palf70Step
State of Confusion!

 
Palf70Step's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Gulfport, MS USA
Posts: 47,090
Re: Joke Thread

Attached Images
 
__________________
Bill
1970 Chevy Custom/10 LWB Fleetside
2010 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner SR5 Double Cab - DD

Member of Louisiana Classic Truck Club (LCTC)

Bill's Gallery
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God!
Palf70Step is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2022, 09:55 PM   #1239
Ol Blue K20
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
 
Ol Blue K20's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,243
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
Mule Trading
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Pearl River , LA. and bought a mule for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux replied, “Well, then just give us our money back."
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."
The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"
Boudreaux said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
Thibodeaux said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Boudreaux & Thibodeaux at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.
"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said, “We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."
Leroy said,
"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."
The farmer said, “My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"
Boudreaux said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux now work for the government.
They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
post
Oh these are great!
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers"

Dale
XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004

R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck
R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man
R.I.P. FleetsidePaul
Ol Blue K20 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2022, 09:56 PM   #1240
Ol Blue K20
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
 
Ol Blue K20's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,243
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Palf70Step View Post
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers"

Dale
XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004

R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck
R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man
R.I.P. FleetsidePaul
Ol Blue K20 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2022, 10:16 PM   #1241
davischevy
Senior Member

 
davischevy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Harrison, Arkansas
Posts: 9,838
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Palf70Step View Post
It looks like you took that picture close to home.
__________________
other Larry


Build thread, Arkansas K10
https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...=755797&page=5





The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.
davischevy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2022, 06:31 PM   #1242
LT7A
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: PNW
Posts: 3,615
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by davischevy View Post
I go in Tuesday.
I hope everything went okay yesterday. If this was a F@rd site you could tell us about your Probe...
LT7A is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2022, 12:02 AM   #1243
truckster
Senior Member
 
truckster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Orem, Utah
Posts: 7,957
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LT7A View Post
I hope everything went okay yesterday. If this was a F@rd site you could tell us about your Probe...
Or an alien abduction site...
__________________
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson
truckster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2022, 12:57 PM   #1244
71CHEVYSHORTBED402
Senior Member
 
71CHEVYSHORTBED402's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Northern Nevada
Posts: 7,300
Re: Joke Thread

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl. He paid $11,500 each with box seats. It comes with a ride to the Super Bowl, lunch, dinner and a $400.00 bar tab, and backstage passes to the winners locker room. When he bought the tickets he didn’t realize it would fall on the same day as his wedding. So if you are interested, he's looking for someone to take his spot at St. Sebastian’s at 3pm. Her name is Ashley. She’s 5’4”, 115 lbs and a real good cook. She'll be wearing the white dress.
__________________
Tony
71 Custom Deluxe, SWB, 2WD, 402, A/C. I developed an assembly kit for restoring the (a) truck from the ground up. My build thread, and more on the assembly kit https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...d.php?t=730025
71CHEVYSHORTBED402 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2022, 12:00 PM   #1245
davischevy
Senior Member

 
davischevy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Harrison, Arkansas
Posts: 9,838
Re: Joke Thread

This
Attached Images
 
__________________
other Larry


Build thread, Arkansas K10
https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...=755797&page=5





The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.
davischevy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2022, 12:43 PM   #1246
Sheepdip
Senior Member
 
Sheepdip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Waterford California
Posts: 2,594
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by 71CHEVYSHORTBED402 View Post
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl. He paid $11,500 each with box seats. It comes with a ride to the Super Bowl, lunch, dinner and a $400.00 bar tab, and backstage passes to the winners locker room. When he bought the tickets he didn’t realize it would fall on the same day as his wedding. So if you are interested, he's looking for someone to take his spot at St. Sebastian’s at 3pm. Her name is Ashley. She’s 5’4”, 115 lbs and a real good cook. She'll be wearing the white dress.
Good One! Women don't see/have the humor us guy's do!
Sheepdip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2022, 10:30 AM   #1247
72 tigger
Senior Member
 
72 tigger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Berne IN
Posts: 3,240
Re: Joke Thread

Truth
Attached Images
 
__________________
71 C10
72 K20
72 K10 Super
Kirk
72 tigger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2022, 07:12 PM   #1248
72c20customcamper
Registered User
 
72c20customcamper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Catskill Mountains,NY
Posts: 8,642
Re: Joke Thread

Ironic. Not implying a political tone .
Attached Images
 
__________________
Mark
72 c20 custom camper Husky edition,
66 SS396 Chevelle 1964 Hawk, 63 Avanti,62 lark
1969 AMX ,
1968 c20 stepside ,85 K20
1977 Suburban sold
68 anniversary.
72c20customcamper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2022, 08:56 PM   #1249
Steeveedee
Who Changed This?
 
Steeveedee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Simi Valley, CA
Posts: 10,610
Re: Joke Thread

He's free to miss out on $1.37 a month in royalties. His reason makes sense to me, but he doesn't get to dictate.
__________________
~Steven

'70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper

Simi Valley, CA
Steeveedee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2022, 09:31 PM   #1250
truckster
Senior Member
 
truckster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Orem, Utah
Posts: 7,957
Re: Joke Thread

I honestly didn't know he was still alive...
__________________
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson
truckster is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:50 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Copyright 1997-2022 67-72chevytrucks.com