Joke Thread

[a.c.ward]

[Boog]

A very busty woman got on the elevator I was on and I couldn't help but notice her boobs. She said press one. So I did and I don't remember much past that!

[Getter-Done]

[Palf70Step]

[dmjlambert]

Well, how else would I pick the best tasting one?

[Steeveedee]

Originally Posted by dmjlambert

Well, how else would I pick the best tasting one?

On the other hand, the tongs are going to have everyone else's nose miner prints on them anyway.

[Getter-Done]

[notsolo]

Random stuff

[Palf70Step]

Oh so true!

[72 tigger]

Long joke, but funny
A entrepreneur opened a “Husband” store in NY city that consisted of six floors of husbands. A interested lady could shop floor by floor, but could not return to a previously visited floor.
A woman walks in on the first floor and sees: This floor has husbands that have jobs. That’s appealing, but she’s going to keep moving.
The second floor indicated that: This floor has husbands that have jobs and love kids. Pretty good, but I’m going to go up.
Third floor states: This floor has husbands with jobs,love kids and are very handsome. “Wow, probably should shop here” she thinks, but I’m taking my chances.
Fourth floor sign says: This floor sells husbands with jobs,love kids,very handsome and help with housework. She can’t believe her eyes, yet each floor is better than the last- so off to floor five she goes.
Floor number five states: This floor has husbands that have jobs, love kids,very handsome,help with housework and they’re very romantic. “How can they top this?” She wonders, but she just has to see floor six.
As she steps off the elevator on the sixth floor she sees: You’re the 31,438,014th visitor to the top floor! This floor contains no husbands. It solely exists to prove that women are never satisfied!
The owner of the store didn’t want to be seen as biased, so he opened a wife store with the same rules across the street.
A man looking for a bride walked in and saw: This floor sells ladies that love sex. Well, that’s sounds great, but let’s check out the second floor.
Floor number two states: This floor has women that love sex and are very wealthy.
To this date, floors 3-6 have never been visited

[68bowtie]

That sounds pretty accurate to me! Lol

[lousyflyer]

Fair play

[Richard2112]

Lions

[Palf70Step]

...

[Getter-Done]

[Boog]

Originally Posted by Getter-Done

Attachment 2221027

I am only curious, so I'm safe right?

[rgunlock]

I don't "know" this either, but looks like a horn connected to a trailer light plug. For honking at folks behind you?

[kwmech]

I think the pos side of that is a right turn signal feed--brake also. I think it goes right, left, running, ground

[SCOTI]

Horn splice connected to the brake lighting circuit. Hit brake pedal, hidden horn goes off. Drives your buddy/target insane until they figure it out.
Similar to the stick on weights for the driveshaft or wheels prank jokester gearheads play on each other.

[Getter-Done]

Originally Posted by Boog

I am only curious, so I'm safe right?

Yeah

[Getter-Done]

Originally Posted by rgunlock

I don't "know" this either, but looks like a horn connected to a trailer light plug. For honking at folks behind you?

It blows the horn when you hit the brake or turn singal.

Originally Posted by kwmech

I think the pos side of that is a right turn signal feed--brake also. I think it goes right, left, running, ground

Yeah

Originally Posted by SCOTI

Horn splice connected to the brake lighting circuit. Hit brake pedal, hidden horn goes off. Drives your buddy/target insane until they figure it out.
Similar to the stick on weights for the driveshaft or wheels prank jokester gearheads play on each other.

Bingo

[richard2717]

...

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by richard2717

...

[richard2717]

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. He starts the stop by asking the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer, in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.
Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

[richards72chevy]

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