Joke Thread

[Getter-Done]

Carrying my tools with me (cause I'm driving this...

[Sheepdip]

Did you hear about Fords new heated taillight's option?

They double as hand warmer's while pushing it in the cold winters.

[Steeveedee]

Originally Posted by Sheepdip

Did you hear about Fords new heated taillight's option?

They double as hand warmer's while pushing it in the cold winters.

Hah! Reminds me of Yugos.

Now some truth. Goodyear is working on a prototype tire made using soy. I can understand wanting them to biodegrade. Some (if not all) manufacturers make the insulation for vehicle wiring from soy. Rats got into the wiring on my wife's car and chewed it up pretty badly. So, you have a soy product tire. You have a flat one day because your tires were eaten by rats.

[Sheepdip]

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

Hah! Reminds me of Yugos.

Now some truth. Goodyear is working on a prototype tire made using soy. I can understand wanting them to biodegrade. Some (if not all) manufacturers make the insulation for vehicle wiring from soy. Rats got into the wiring on my wife's car and chewed it up pretty badly. So, you have a soy product tire. You have a flat one day because your tires were eaten by rats.

I have heard of the soy wiring and rat/mouse attraction.

On another note....years ago we used to have a couple of goats to keep the weeds down up the hill behind the house. I had a jeep CJ5 up there I was taking parts off of for another one I was building. Those 2 goats stripped the wiring harness out of it and consumed the cooper too! Didn't seem to affect them or their appetite any.

[Steeveedee]

Originally Posted by Sheepdip

I have heard of the soy wiring and rat/mouse attraction.

On another note....years ago we used to have a couple of goats to keep the weeds down up the hill behind the house. I had a jeep CJ5 up there I was taking parts off of for another one I was building. Those 2 goats stripped the wiring harness out of it and consumed the cooper too! Didn't seem to affect them or their appetite any.

GUH. I guess copper floss is a thing? I read an article on the intertubes where people are renting out goats for weed abatement (kept in enclosures when on-site) and they even eat poison ivy. I'm a bit skeptical about that last part.

[best view]

That’s a fact on the poison ivy my friend rents them out

[68bowtie]

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

GUH. I guess copper floss is a thing? I read an article on the intertubes where people are renting out goats for weed abatement (kept in enclosures when on-site) and they even eat poison ivy. I'm a bit skeptical about that last part.

I’ve paid for goats to weed eat dams

[Sheepdip]

A goat will eat weeds before nice green grass, they eat thistle like it's candy.

[Getter-Done]

Originally Posted by Sheepdip

A goat will eat weeds before nice green grass, they eat thistle like it's candy.

I tended to goats when I was younger.

They like what is on the other side of the fence better.

Because most days coming home from school I would have to throw the Billy Goat back over the fence.

[Shifty One]

A bud of mine bought a goat for controlling the weeds on his desert property. Everything was going great until the goat started to get older/bigger....then it kept head-butting him everytime he went in his yard.

The clerk at the feed store told him to whack the goat with a 2x4. Doug just couldn't do it, he despises animal cruelty. After taking a wicked shot to the butt, he picked up a log, and swung for the fences....

They were pals after that....

[Keith Seymore]

My dad had a pet goat. My grandfather made a little trailer so that the goat could pull my dad around in it.

They had an old ford pickup on the property that was jacked up with one wheel off it, to power a sawmill or something. The goat would pull dad around until he (the goat) got tired of it, and they he would run under that truck and the boys would go spilling off the top because they wouldn't clear. Great fun.

One dad grandpa put the tire back on the truck and set it back down on the ground. Now the goat wouldn't fit under it -but he didn't know that yet.

So the next time the kids were riding in the cart the goat went to run under the truck and head butted the frame at full speed.

He backed up, stunned, and said "baaaaa", and that was that. He never went anywhere near that pickup again.

K

[Boog]

Yeah, my dad used tell me "the bought lessons (ones that cost you money or pain) you won't soon forget!"

[HO455]

When I lived in Virginia all the wrecking yards were on bottom land and they all had goats living the yard. The goats would destroy all the roofs , hoods and trunk lids by standing on them but, they also killed and ate all the water moccasins and other snakes as well as the poisonous plants. Pretty fair trade off to me. Although I did occasionally get the crap scared out me while working under the dash of a car and some goat would shove their head in to see what was going on.

[Getter-Done]

What is Going On?

[68bowtie]

They’re watcha youtube video of a goat ramming a truck frame ��

[Custom 68]

Ha!

[Getter-Done]

Originally Posted by Custom 68

Ha!

And make sure you know where the nearest Pay phone is.

[Sheepdip]

Originally Posted by Custom 68

Ha!

Double Ha! Ha! Was just looking on Craigslist at trucks and saw a DORF SWB Stepside 4X4...Does not even start to compare with a Chevy/GMC of that era and build!

[richard2717]

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out... "Pa you need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with it."
Ma yells back, "Yes there is; now git out there and fix it."
So.......Paw mosies out to the outhouse, looks around, and yells back, "Ma there ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse honey! "
Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
Payells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"
Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around, and yells back,"Ma-dadgummit there ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"
Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of da hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, and then starts yelling, "Ma - Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it?"

[my56chevytruck]

oh thats a good one!!

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by my56chevytruck

oh thats a good one!!

X2!!

[68bowtie]

Ew

[richard2717]

A Kentucky State trooper pulled a car over on I-75 about 8 miles south of Richmond, Kentucky. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Lexington to do a show for the Childrens Hospital. He didn't want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Troopers car. A drunken good old boy from London got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to his car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, “You might as well take me to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”

[Boog]

[my56chevytruck]

good one