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Old 09-22-2023, 12:45 PM   #1
Ol Blue K20
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Re: Joke Thread

Very funny!
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Old 09-22-2023, 04:34 PM   #2
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 09-29-2023, 02:44 PM   #3
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Re: Joke Thread

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, “I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease, it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out Goodbye, Mum, as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his shopping.
"That comes to 121.85," said the assistant.
"How come so much? I only bought 3 items!"
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things too."
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Old 09-29-2023, 06:40 PM   #4
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, “I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease, it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out Goodbye, Mum, as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his shopping.
"That comes to 121.85," said the assistant.
"How come so much? I only bought 3 items!"
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things too."
I can see Helen Hayes doing this. She played the little old lady in the Airport movie who stole flights to all over the country. Sweet old girl.
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Old 09-29-2023, 02:50 PM   #5
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Re: Joke Thread

My cousin just called and asked me if I would loan her $300 to help her pay for her rent. Those who know me know that I'm always willing to help out friends and family. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back. Before I could even call her back my Aunt Calls me and says she's lying and not to give her the money! She goes on to say that my cousin actually wanted the $300 to get her boyfriend out of jail so they could be under the same roof for his birthday... I thought about it, and decided to give her the $300 anyway because we all need help at times. I called my cousin back and told her to come and get the $300. A few hours later, I get a call from the County jail and It was my cousin crying, screaming, and asking me why I gave her counterfeit money...! I told her I just really wanted to make sure that she and her boyfriend were able to spend his Birthday together under the same roof as she wished
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 09-29-2023, 05:05 PM   #6
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Re: Joke Thread

Awe.... That was sweet
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Old 09-29-2023, 08:40 PM   #7
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Re: Joke Thread

I cannot take credit for this, but it is genious.
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Old 09-29-2023, 09:16 PM   #8
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Re: Joke Thread

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I cannot take credit for this, but it is genious.
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Old 09-29-2023, 10:36 PM   #9
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Re: Joke Thread

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I cannot take credit for this, but it is genious.
Can't leave out Biden who is the same age as Mick.
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Old 10-03-2023, 04:16 PM   #10
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Re: Joke Thread

My wife says I have 2 faults:
1. I don't listen and....something else
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Old 10-03-2023, 10:27 PM   #11
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Re: Joke Thread

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My wife says I have 2 faults:
1. I don't listen and....something else


I got this same response just Tonight.

At least I think that is what she said.
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Old 10-04-2023, 07:47 AM   #12
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Re: Joke Thread

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I got this same response just tonight.

At least i think that is what she said.
x2
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Old 10-17-2023, 03:07 PM   #13
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Re: Joke Thread

gray
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 10-17-2023, 10:09 PM   #14
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Re: Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
gray


Are you going to start selling these Flags.

I am in for a Big Order if you do.
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Old 12-05-2023, 10:40 AM   #15
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Re: Joke Thread

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gray
rock on!
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Old 10-17-2023, 10:30 PM   #16
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Re: Joke Thread

That’s hilarious
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Old 10-18-2023, 07:51 AM   #17
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Re: Joke Thread

old
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 10-18-2023, 10:42 AM   #18
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
old
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Old 10-18-2023, 10:51 AM   #19
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Re: Joke Thread

My ankles constantly ratchet with every step I take.
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Old 10-22-2023, 06:06 PM   #20
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Re: Joke Thread

After trying to keep up with our 3 year old grandson for a couple of days...
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Old 10-22-2023, 08:35 PM   #21
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by tutone View Post
After trying to keep up with our 3 year old grandson for a couple of days...
For sure
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Old 10-23-2023, 04:55 PM   #22
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Re: Joke Thread

Keeping golf scores

John and Bob were two of the bitterest rivals at the club. Neither man trusted the other's arithmetic.

One day they were playing a heated match and watching each other like hawks. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the scorecard, John asked Bob "What'd you have?

Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. "Six!" he said and then hastily corrected himself - " No, no....a five."

Calmly John marked the scorecard, saying out loud "Eight!" "Eight?" Bob said, "I couldn't have had eight." John said,

"Nope, you claimed six, then changed it to five, but actually you had seven." "Then why did you mark down eight?" asked Bob.

John told him, "One stroke penalty, for improving your lie."
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Old 10-23-2023, 08:42 PM   #23
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Re: Joke Thread

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Keeping golf scores

John and Bob were two of the bitterest rivals at the club. Neither man trusted the other's arithmetic.

One day they were playing a heated match and watching each other like hawks. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the scorecard, John asked Bob "What'd you have?

Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. "Six!" he said and then hastily corrected himself - " No, no....a five."

Calmly John marked the scorecard, saying out loud "Eight!" "Eight?" Bob said, "I couldn't have had eight." John said,

"Nope, you claimed six, then changed it to five, but actually you had seven." "Then why did you mark down eight?" asked Bob.

John told him, "One stroke penalty, for improving your lie."
I listen to my Co-Workers that golf together.

This makes Perfect sense.


They are Crazy at work why would that change on the Golf course.
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Old 11-01-2023, 10:16 PM   #24
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Re: Joke Thread

Richard has not posted in a while so here is the best I can do

Name:  dio.jpg
Views: 454
Size:  60.6 KB
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Old 11-02-2023, 02:50 PM   #25
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Re: Joke Thread

hmm
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