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Old 09-04-2023, 08:36 PM   #1776
Getter-Done
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Re: Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Custom 68 View Post
Ha!
And make sure you know where the nearest Pay phone is.

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Old 09-04-2023, 09:15 PM   #1777
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Re: Joke Thread

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Ha!
Double Ha! Ha! Was just looking on Craigslist at trucks and saw a DORF SWB Stepside 4X4...Does not even start to compare with a Chevy/GMC of that era and build!
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Old 09-16-2023, 04:51 PM   #1778
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Re: Joke Thread

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out... "Pa you need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with it."
Ma yells back, "Yes there is; now git out there and fix it."
So.......Paw mosies out to the outhouse, looks around, and yells back, "Ma there ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse honey! "
Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
Payells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"
Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around, and yells back,"Ma-dadgummit there ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"
Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of da hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, and then starts yelling, "Ma - Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it?"
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Old 09-20-2023, 09:33 AM   #1779
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Re: Joke Thread

oh thats a good one!!
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Old 09-20-2023, 12:43 PM   #1780
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Re: Joke Thread

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oh thats a good one!!
X2!!
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Old 09-20-2023, 09:58 PM   #1781
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Re: Joke Thread

Ew
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Old 09-22-2023, 12:00 PM   #1782
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Re: Joke Thread

A Kentucky State trooper pulled a car over on I-75 about 8 miles south of Richmond, Kentucky. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Lexington to do a show for the Childrens Hospital. He didn't want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Troopers car. A drunken good old boy from London got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to his car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, “You might as well take me to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”
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Old 09-22-2023, 12:42 PM   #1783
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 09-22-2023, 12:45 PM   #1784
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Re: Joke Thread

Very funny!
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Old 09-22-2023, 04:34 PM   #1785
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 09-26-2023, 02:51 PM   #1786
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Re: Joke Thread

good one
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Old 09-29-2023, 02:44 PM   #1787
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Re: Joke Thread

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, “I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease, it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out Goodbye, Mum, as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his shopping.
"That comes to 121.85," said the assistant.
"How come so much? I only bought 3 items!"
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things too."
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Old 09-29-2023, 02:50 PM   #1788
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Re: Joke Thread

My cousin just called and asked me if I would loan her $300 to help her pay for her rent. Those who know me know that I'm always willing to help out friends and family. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back. Before I could even call her back my Aunt Calls me and says she's lying and not to give her the money! She goes on to say that my cousin actually wanted the $300 to get her boyfriend out of jail so they could be under the same roof for his birthday... I thought about it, and decided to give her the $300 anyway because we all need help at times. I called my cousin back and told her to come and get the $300. A few hours later, I get a call from the County jail and It was my cousin crying, screaming, and asking me why I gave her counterfeit money...! I told her I just really wanted to make sure that she and her boyfriend were able to spend his Birthday together under the same roof as she wished
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Old 09-29-2023, 05:05 PM   #1789
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Re: Joke Thread

Awe.... That was sweet
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Old 09-29-2023, 06:40 PM   #1790
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, “I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease, it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out Goodbye, Mum, as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his shopping.
"That comes to 121.85," said the assistant.
"How come so much? I only bought 3 items!"
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things too."
I can see Helen Hayes doing this. She played the little old lady in the Airport movie who stole flights to all over the country. Sweet old girl.
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Old 09-29-2023, 08:40 PM   #1791
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Re: Joke Thread

I cannot take credit for this, but it is genious.
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Old 09-29-2023, 09:16 PM   #1792
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Re: Joke Thread

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I cannot take credit for this, but it is genious.
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Old 09-29-2023, 10:36 PM   #1793
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Re: Joke Thread

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I cannot take credit for this, but it is genious.
Can't leave out Biden who is the same age as Mick.
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Old 10-03-2023, 04:16 PM   #1794
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Re: Joke Thread

My wife says I have 2 faults:
1. I don't listen and....something else
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Old 10-03-2023, 10:27 PM   #1795
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Re: Joke Thread

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My wife says I have 2 faults:
1. I don't listen and....something else


I got this same response just Tonight.

At least I think that is what she said.
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Old 10-04-2023, 07:47 AM   #1796
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Re: Joke Thread

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I got this same response just tonight.

At least i think that is what she said.
x2
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Old 10-17-2023, 03:07 PM   #1797
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Re: Joke Thread

gray
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Old 10-17-2023, 10:09 PM   #1798
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Re: Joke Thread

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gray


Are you going to start selling these Flags.

I am in for a Big Order if you do.
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Old 10-17-2023, 10:30 PM   #1799
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Re: Joke Thread

That’s hilarious
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Old 10-18-2023, 07:51 AM   #1800
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Re: Joke Thread

old
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