Joke Thread - Page 77 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

**Steeveedee** · 02-20-2024, 10:26 PM

I'm waiting for life to be discovered on Mars, and finding out that the Martians are filing a grievance with a court on Earth about all the damage and litter we've left. As Marvin says, "You are making me very angry...very angry, indeed!"

**68bowtie** · 02-21-2024, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

This is getting ridiculous. 1st they want me to report my truck part sales and now this???

.

There’s no way that’s real. It’s federal not California.

**richard2717** · 02-27-2024, 11:19 AM

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"
"Don't mess with Mommy when she's been drinking."
I love these touching stories!

**richard2717** · 02-27-2024, 11:19 AM

carp

**Getter-Done** · 02-28-2024, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

carp

If I remember correctly,

You lay the Carp on a Board in the Back yard.

Leave it for a few days.

Bury the Carp .

Then Eat the Board.

**68bowtie** · 02-28-2024, 12:28 AM

No joke I cooked a carp up nice once, lots of butter and seasonings. I’ll eat about anything. But I could NOT eat that. Not an exaggeration to say it tasted like mud…

my56chevytruck · 03-06-2024, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 68bowtie

No joke I cooked a carp up nice once, lots of butter and seasonings. I’ll eat about anything. But I could NOT eat that. Not an exaggeration to say it tasted like mud…

when i fished with my dad if we caught a carp he'd damn near cut the line to get that bottom feeder off, haha

**truckster** · 03-06-2024, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by my56chevytruck

when i fished with my dad if we caught a carp he'd damn near cut the line to get that bottom feeder off, haha

When I was in Iraq we trained the Iraqi highway patrol. They invited us to a special feast - carp caught in the Euphrates River, which is an open sewer by the time it reaches the area I was serving in. As a matter of principle and taste, I don't eat fish, but everyone who did had nasty stuff violently exiting both ends of the digestive tract for the next 48 hours.

**Boog** · 03-06-2024, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truckster

When I was in Iraq we trained the Iraqi highway patrol. They invited us to a special feast - carp caught in the Euphrates River, which is an open sewer by the time it reaches the area I was serving in. As a matter of principle and taste, I don't eat fish, but everyone who did had nasty stuff violently exiting both ends of the digestive tract for the next 48 hours.

And you know those Iraqis were laughing their ashes off, right?

**truckster** · 02-28-2024, 02:31 PM

My all-purpose fish recipe: Take the fish and put in in a blender. Puree and add water. Use the mixture to fertilize grass. Use the grass to feed beef. Eat the beef.

**richard2717** · 03-01-2024, 03:13 PM

knit

**Boog** · 03-01-2024, 03:49 PM

Fishnet stockings. Oh my..

**richard2717** · 03-01-2024, 06:09 PM

party

Shifty One · 03-01-2024, 06:33 PM

:spittake:

**richard2717** · 03-06-2024, 01:05 PM

hat

**richard2717** · 03-06-2024, 02:00 PM

bee

Keith Seymore · 03-08-2024, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

bee

In related news: it looks like our bees made it through the winter. First time for us, in about 5 years of trying.

I am OK with calling myself a "beekeeper" now!

K

**richard2717** · 03-08-2024, 10:39 AM

tip

Keith Seymore · 03-08-2024, 10:43 AM

Isn't a catfish a carp with a moustache?

Catfish is a delicacy where my people come from.

K

**richard2717** · 03-08-2024, 02:56 PM

fire

**richard2717** · 03-08-2024, 06:24 PM

sammich

CG · 03-08-2024, 07:50 PM

...

**richard2717** · 03-10-2024, 10:08 AM

250

**Getter-Done** · 03-10-2024, 10:50 AM

**richard2717** · 03-13-2024, 09:46 AM

MD Weather

.

02-20-2024, 10:26 PM	#1
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,585	Re: Joke Thread I'm waiting for life to be discovered on Mars, and finding out that the Martians are filing a grievance with a court on Earth about all the damage and litter we've left. As Marvin says, "You are making me very angry...very angry, indeed!" __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

02-27-2024, 11:19 AM	#3
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" 'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands." ''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?" "Don't mess with Mommy when she's been drinking." I love these touching stories! __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

02-27-2024, 11:19 AM	#4
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread carp Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

02-28-2024, 12:28 AM	#6
68bowtie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Turlock, CA Posts: 8,739	Re: Joke Thread No joke I cooked a carp up nice once, lots of butter and seasonings. I’ll eat about anything. But I could NOT eat that. Not an exaggeration to say it tasted like mud… __________________ Please help my sister in law with her battle with cancer https://gofund.me/902f6fce Project "C10 Fever" (68 factory black 396 swb) Project "Little Sister" (70 c10 blue original paint refresh) Project "Blue Bomb" (70 c30 blue original paint refresh) SOLD Project "Vitamin C" (71 c10 orange original paint refresh) SOLD

02-28-2024, 02:31 PM	#10
truckster Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Orem, Utah Posts: 7,954	Re: Joke Thread My all-purpose fish recipe: Take the fish and put in in a blender. Puree and add water. Use the mixture to fertilize grass. Use the grass to feed beef. Eat the beef. __________________ I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson

03-01-2024, 03:13 PM	#11
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread knit Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

03-01-2024, 03:49 PM	#12
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,437	Re: Joke Thread Fishnet stockings. Oh my.. __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross

03-01-2024, 06:09 PM	#13
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread party Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

03-01-2024, 06:33 PM	#14
Shifty One Registered User Join Date: Dec 2014 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 728	Re: Joke Thread :spittake: __________________ 1987 V20 farm-hand rescue 1998 C2500 lot-rot rescue

03-06-2024, 01:05 PM	#15
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread hat Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

03-06-2024, 02:00 PM	#16
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread bee Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

03-08-2024, 10:39 AM	#18
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread tip Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

03-08-2024, 10:43 AM	#19
Keith Seymore Registered User Join Date: May 2009 Location: Motor City Posts: 9,213	Re: Joke Thread Isn't a catfish a carp with a moustache? Catfish is a delicacy where my people come from. K __________________ Chevrolet Flint Assembly 1979-1986 GM Full Size Truck Engineering 1986 - 2019 Intro from an Old Assembly Guy: http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=342926 My Pontiac story: http://forums.maxperformanceinc.com/...d.php?t=560524 Chevelle intro: http://www.superchevy.com/features/s...hevy-chevelle/

03-08-2024, 02:56 PM	#20
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread fire Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

03-08-2024, 06:24 PM	#21
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread sammich Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.



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03-08-2024, 07:50 PM	#22
CG BlahBlahBlah Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Wa. Posts: 19,989	Re: Joke Thread ... Attached Images __________________ … … … … … … … … ... … … … … … … … … … … …

03-10-2024, 10:08 AM	#23
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread 250 Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

03-10-2024, 10:50 AM	#24
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,310	Re: Joke Thread __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

03-13-2024, 09:46 AM	#25
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,091	Re: Joke Thread MD Weather . Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

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