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Old 01-21-2024, 10:33 AM   #2026
richard2717
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Re: Joke Thread

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. “I’d like to be 6 again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a Disney movie, with popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being 6 again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
"I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!!"
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
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Old 01-21-2024, 11:47 AM   #2027
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Re: Joke Thread

I helped my neighbour out this morning and she said , I could marry you , I couldn’t believe it you do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life !
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Old 01-21-2024, 01:39 PM   #2028
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Old 01-21-2024, 05:00 PM   #2029
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Old 01-21-2024, 06:30 PM   #2030
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Old 01-21-2024, 06:31 PM   #2031
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Re: Joke Thread

So true!
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Old 01-23-2024, 01:01 PM   #2032
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Re: Joke Thread

spider
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Old 01-23-2024, 03:02 PM   #2033
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
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spider
"Out of sight ,Out of mind" doesn't work with spiders.
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Old 01-23-2024, 06:09 PM   #2034
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Old 01-25-2024, 08:06 PM   #2035
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Re: Joke Thread

Crossed a whole bunch of things off of my to-do list today. Didn't do any of them just got tired of looking at them.
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Old 01-25-2024, 09:43 PM   #2036
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Re: Joke Thread

1. You made a list.
2. You crossed some things off.

Man, that's some progress right there!
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Old 01-25-2024, 10:32 PM   #2037
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Re: Joke Thread

I thought about making a list. I need to stop procrastinating...

I'll do it tomorrow.
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Old 01-26-2024, 12:32 PM   #2038
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Re: Joke Thread

my new scanner arrived


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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 01-26-2024, 02:03 PM   #2039
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Old 01-26-2024, 05:13 PM   #2040
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Re: Joke Thread

Tip of the day:

Don't fry bacon, naked.
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Old 01-26-2024, 10:20 PM   #2041
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Re: Joke Thread

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my new scanner arrived


.
I like that . More truth than i think we will ever know.
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Old 01-27-2024, 01:53 AM   #2042
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Re: Joke Thread

The bacon one… I just laughed out loud haha
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Old 01-27-2024, 01:24 PM   #2043
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
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Tip of the day:

Don't fry bacon, naked.
Clearly, you either lack talent, or a true appreciation for the flavor of bacon....I never miss a drop.
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Old 01-27-2024, 09:42 PM   #2044
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Old 01-28-2024, 12:15 AM   #2045
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Re: Joke Thread

A well balanced diet,
is a burger in each hand.
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Old 02-01-2024, 09:52 PM   #2046
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Well shoot I was hoping this would show up big enough to read. Lots of funny in here.
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Old 02-01-2024, 10:07 PM   #2047
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Re: Joke Thread

I could read it well enough to laugh about it
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Old 02-01-2024, 10:38 PM   #2048
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Re: Joke Thread

I laughed
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Old 02-01-2024, 11:29 PM   #2049
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I laughed
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Old 02-01-2024, 11:36 PM   #2050
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I laughed
Yes This
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