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#2151 |
Post Whore
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Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 11,106
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Re: Joke Thread
One of life's conundrums.
In the past, the Pony Express, using relays of men & horses, could get mail from Missouri to California (~ 2000 miles) in about 10 days, or an average of about 200 miles/ day. Recently, I had a USPS Priority Mail 9x12 envelope (claiming 1-3 days for delivery) travel ~700 miles in 14 days, or an average of about 50 miles/ day. So much for "Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds".
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Thanks to Bob and Jeanie and everyone else at Superior Performance for all their great help. ![]() RIP Bob Parks. 1967 Burban (the WMB),1988 S10 Blazer (the Stink10 II),1969 GTO (the Goat), 1970 Javelin, 1952 F2 Ford OHC six 4X4, 29 Model A, 72 Firebird (the DBP Bird). 85 Alfa Romeo If it breaks I didn't want it in the first place The WMB repair thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=698377 |
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#2152 | |
Registered User
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Motor City
Posts: 9,194
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Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
K
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Chevrolet Flint Assembly 1979-1986 GM Full Size Truck Engineering 1986 - 2019 Intro from an Old Assembly Guy: http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=342926 My Pontiac story: http://forums.maxperformanceinc.com/...d.php?t=560524 Chevelle intro: http://www.superchevy.com/features/s...hevy-chevelle/ Last edited by Keith Seymore; 05-10-2024 at 07:40 AM. |
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#2153 |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Colfax-California
Posts: 8,522
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Re: Joke Thread
I recently sent off a package to Florida (USPS priority). It arrived in 3 days, then promptly headed north up to Maine only to get sent back to Florida and again return to Maine. Sat in Maine for 5 days before getting sent back to Florida and took another 4 days to get to the customer. I figure the package traveled well over 5000 miles and took 13-14 days
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#2154 |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Orem, Utah
Posts: 7,901
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Re: Joke Thread
I had a USPS package that was sent to me in Utah from California. Somehow it wnet threough eastern Europe before I received it 2 1/2 months later.
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I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson |
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#2155 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
Truth
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#2156 |
Who Changed This?
![]() Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Simi Valley, CA
Posts: 10,387
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Re: Joke Thread
.....
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~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA |
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#2157 |
Post Whore
![]() Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 11,106
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Re: Joke Thread
Now the warmer weather is arriving.
__________________
Thanks to Bob and Jeanie and everyone else at Superior Performance for all their great help. ![]() RIP Bob Parks. 1967 Burban (the WMB),1988 S10 Blazer (the Stink10 II),1969 GTO (the Goat), 1970 Javelin, 1952 F2 Ford OHC six 4X4, 29 Model A, 72 Firebird (the DBP Bird). 85 Alfa Romeo If it breaks I didn't want it in the first place The WMB repair thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=698377 |
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#2158 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
^^^^ Duh,
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#2159 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
Beetle Juice, Beetle goose, be
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#2160 |
Post Whore
![]() Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 11,106
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Re: Joke Thread
Necessity is the mother of invention in some cases, in others, its how to do it the hard way.
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Thanks to Bob and Jeanie and everyone else at Superior Performance for all their great help. ![]() RIP Bob Parks. 1967 Burban (the WMB),1988 S10 Blazer (the Stink10 II),1969 GTO (the Goat), 1970 Javelin, 1952 F2 Ford OHC six 4X4, 29 Model A, 72 Firebird (the DBP Bird). 85 Alfa Romeo If it breaks I didn't want it in the first place The WMB repair thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=698377 |
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#2161 |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Turlock, CA
Posts: 8,647
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Re: Joke Thread
That made me smile. I don't need any shots... haha But I'll take them anyhow
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Please help my sister in law with her battle with cancer https://gofund.me/902f6fce Project "C10 Fever" (68 factory black 396 swb) Project "Little Sister" (70 c10 blue original paint refresh) Project "Blue Bomb" (70 c30 blue original paint refresh) SOLD Project "Vitamin C" (71 c10 orange original paint refresh) SOLD |
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#2162 |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Orem, Utah
Posts: 7,901
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Re: Joke Thread
That almost makes enough sense that I could see someone trying it.
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I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson |
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#2163 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
What?
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#2164 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,014
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Re: Joke Thread
The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her partner) presumably did it as a joke.
Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius! The query: Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate The response (that came weeks later out of the blue): Dear Desperate, First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0. Good Luck!
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
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#2165 |
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: newbury new hampsire
Posts: 2,067
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Re: Joke Thread
That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read
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#2166 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
four
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#2167 |
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
![]() Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 16,089
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Re: Joke Thread
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"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man |
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#2168 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
How 'bout it?
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#2169 |
Equal opportunity joke ofender
![]() Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 10,014
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Re: Joke Thread
An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley rider for traveling faster than the posted speed limit:
He asks the old biker his name. “Fred.” He replies. “Fred what?” The officer asks. “Just Fred.” The old man responds. The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the old biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The old man tells him that he used to have a last name, but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. “Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’ The old biker replies. “It’s a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, and residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! I got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. I got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.” The officer walked away in tears, laughing
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
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#2170 |
Who Changed This?
![]() Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Simi Valley, CA
Posts: 10,387
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Re: Joke Thread
^ That happened to me. I swore I'd never beat my kids, and I didn't. They're all fine upstanding citizens, anyway.
__________________
~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA |
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#2171 | |
Post Whore
![]() Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 11,106
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Re: Joke Thread
Quote:
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__________________
Thanks to Bob and Jeanie and everyone else at Superior Performance for all their great help. ![]() RIP Bob Parks. 1967 Burban (the WMB),1988 S10 Blazer (the Stink10 II),1969 GTO (the Goat), 1970 Javelin, 1952 F2 Ford OHC six 4X4, 29 Model A, 72 Firebird (the DBP Bird). 85 Alfa Romeo If it breaks I didn't want it in the first place The WMB repair thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=698377 |
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#2172 |
Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: TN.
Posts: 8,086
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Re: Joke Thread
I see some people now a days and Think About This Very Thing.
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________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build |
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#2173 |
laying low
![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Searcy, Ark. USA
Posts: 13,221
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Re: Joke Thread
2hot
__________________
Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
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#2174 |
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: newbury new hampsire
Posts: 2,067
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Re: Joke Thread
My mom would wack me with whatever she had in her hand and my 1st and 2nd grade teachers had permission from my mom to spank me in front of the class and that was pretty much monthly ,3rd grade was the corner all day, now there was 4 of us boys and my dad was in viet cong i think for 6 or 8 yrs at a desk
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#2175 |
20' Daredevil (Ret)
![]() Join Date: May 2003
Location: Jefferson State
Posts: 13,623
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Re: Joke Thread
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- Mike - 1972 K20 LWB 350/350/205 RIP El Jay |
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