Asking for opinions and then getting mad

[bonehead]

Just sitting here in NC and watching it rain for the past week and a half, and pondering some of the great mysteries in Chevy truck forum world. I have been a member of this board since 2007 so I have seen this situation happen over and over again, and I would like anyone's opinion about it, if you are as bored as I am right now... Note: this is a general observation, not about anyone in specific, past or present.

Many times truck owners post pics and a write-up of a truck they are building or they have purchased, and then they ask, "what do you think about it"? Everyone loves to receive positive comments, who wouldn't. But sometime a brave sole makes a comment that is not "pro-project" or make a statement questioning the design or condition or overall looks about the project or purchase. Sometimes the owner who solicited the opinion gets his feeling hurt, or sometimes another forum member, unrelated to the owner even gets upset about the comment and calls the commentator out for it.

As a forum member and reader, even if I agree or disagree about the comment, I don't understand why everyone get so upset when originally the owner asked for everyone to tell him "what do you think about it"? Didn't he want some honest feedback, both positive or negative?

This situation always baffles me. If any of you guys are as bored as me right now, let me know what you think about this situation, we have all seen and read threads in this forum where this has happened.

Your puzzled friend, )bone(

[GASoline71]

It has always baffled me as well. When asking for opinions, be prepared for people to give an honest answer. What I believe it boils down to is that for some reason, feelings get hurt waaaaayyyyy too easy over the internet for some reason. Like you said, People usually only want feedback if it is positive and fits their needs.

It can also be the same thing when someone wants to build an engine, or set up a suspension, or wire something that goes way beyond the norm, and for all practical purposes makes no sense at all. They will complain about every person that asks them why and continuously complain until some one finally agrees with them. Ha! Vindication! Now they have some sort of weird validation that their crazy scheme will work. Only to be back 3 months later complaining again that their engine is a dog, or their suspension is horrible... lol... told ya so!

I get to the point where I will completely avoid these kinds of threads altogether. It's not just this forum either. I'm a member of forums from fishing and hunting, to chainsaws, to dirt bikes to trucks... this carries over to all of them.

Sitting here just as bored as you...

Gary

[cdowns]

They want your opinions as long as they are exactly what they want to hear

[Stocker]

Yep, that's it, asking for opinions but really just looking for positive reinforcement.

[Boog]

That very thing can happen in this thread too. I think a lot of the hurt feelings come from the way someone replies and not so much what that reply is. One cannot always convey their idea or tone properly through typing a message over the internet. One might intend a reply to be humorous where someone reading it might take it as a smart alec reply. Often times someone will reply merely to state their dislike for a style, color or etc of someone's taste in vehicles. That usually doesn't sit well. It is uncalled for to say the least. A reply that I really dislike is when a poster asks something and is immediately told to go search it up. It may be a new guy has already searched but just didn't use the right words or term, etc.
Cutting a guy off short like that sure doesn't instill a sense of welcome.
Like Gary, I tend to avoid a thread when it looks like it has headed down the toilet. A couple of times i have warned posters a thread is doomed to be locked if that behavior continues. It usually gets ignored then the offender gets bent out of shape when it does get locked or is given a warning from a mod.
This is a great board and is quite friendly with plenty of leeway from the mods, but not to be confused with so many other boards where anything goes, language and all. I have been embarrassed to read postings from some other boards and don't go back.
The thing is the anonymity of internet messaging tends to instill a sense of bravery to say things in a post that one would most likely never say in person.
And so it goes.

[bonehead]

Some great insight and thoughts so far... you guys are deep thinkers not just grease monkeys...LOL Oh, Oh, there goes this thread, now someone will take offense to my grease monkey comment... just lock it now, oh noooooooo!

Keep it coming guys, it's still raining...

[67ChevyRedneck]

I'm sick of all this rain...


What the hell were we talking about?



Bonehead, do you happen to know how the autofair turned out? I imagine it tanked this year? I'm only about an hour and a half south and we got rain ALL last weekend from Thursday through Monday.

[hamjet]

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME???? I resemble that remark...

[67ChevyRedneck]

Yo mamma.

[hugger6933]

Sir, I take offense to your tone and comment the term is lubricated primate! Oh, by the way I resemble that remark, the motto of my school was no kidding"Get greasy easy" Jim

[mike16]

Originally Posted by cdowns

They want your opinions as long as they are exactly what they want to hear

.


no... its worse thane that. They're lonely. socialy under developed, high functioning but limited.

[jocko]

Well, I'm sure I'm probably guilty of ignoring the exact same self-proclaimed sage advice I'm about to offer, but that's never stopped me before. Bone, I agree with you that truth is best. But, in watching the threads over the years, I've noticed that there are two types of "what do you think" threads. Those that truly want a sincere opinion on something because it's going to help them decide or make a choice or really want to know your opinion, even if critical. And then there are those that are proud of something they spent a long time on and are wondering if anyone else likes it. I honestly think it's pretty easy to recognize those two scenarios. So, in the first case - giving the opinion honestly, even bluntly, is fine. In the second case, I try to invoke the 3-minute email regret rule... And during that 3 minutes, I think about all the times I littered my dad's garage floor as a kid with a particular disassembled 57 chevy. While he wasn't very happy with losing his garage floor for months on end - he never once said "jocko, that looks like crapola" when I was done. So, (I realize I'm approaching that 3 minute point by now) with that being said, I like to imagine the 2nd case above, which is a poster I usually only know by avatar, is my little brother and he wants to follow in big bro's footsteps in the car world. Trucks can be a lifetime of fun/happiness/whatever gets your goat, but for a 17 y/o kid trying to figure out if this might be his or her cup of tea, a shot in the forehead post might just be the end of it, and then they'd run off and do something horrible, like buy a Ford or something. Never hurts to preface an opinion on someone else's hard work with "well, since you asked my opinion...." What I am saying is honesty is key, but it doesn't have to be stated in a way that is right up there with calling someone's mother ugly. We all know how much we care about our own trucks, yada yada. Anyway, my 3 minutes are now up. I'm now "posting quick reply"!

[68panelman]

I think y'all need to go in the garage and get busy doing something. Build, maintain, or just clean. Everybody knows opinions are like a-holes.

[franken]

Best to say nothing...
I was walking from the parking lot to the big car show today and someone was saying they wanted to paint their car purple. I was about to turn and say that purple is just dark pink, and ask why would anyone paint anything that color?
For once I listened when the inner voice said keep your mouth shut...

[Boog]

" calling someone's mother ugly."
But she really was a mugly other. I kid. Ok?

[prostreetC-10]

I'm offended by all this bickering. I need to see what my legal options are......

[mike16]

just flame the sob and push send. yes you will feel good.

[dirtyjim]

unless they are doing something thats going to get them killed I usually don't even bother commenting on threads that I don't like or agree with. there is a lot of great info on here and a lot of misinformation too.
then there is the resident troll, grumpycat.
an ignore button would be nice sometimes

[drfloyd]

Speaking of raining and bored, water actually got in my shop today. Never seen this much rain. I spent the day moving all my crap to higher ground.

I think that if you aren't capable of standing back from a job that you have just completed and admitting to yourself what it really looks like then you don't need to come to a message board and ask anyone else what it looks like. Chances are you already know the answer to your question and in reality you are seeking someone that can change your mind. When you ask opinions about something you have done from a group of guys that have spent their life making the same mistakes and then figuring out how to do it right, you better have some thick skin.

As you will find out in the coming months, there is a ton that I don't know about what the hell I'm doing, but hey, I'm gonna learn and if I ask your opinions or seek advice I will appreciate your candidness and honesty. If I get pissed I'll get over it, but mainly, I will have learned something.

[9teen69]

I'm asking for feedback and promise not to get my feelings hurt Let me know... pictures of 1/3 revived post.

[bonehead]

Originally Posted by 67ChevyRedneck

I'm sick of all this rain...


What the hell were we talking about?



Bonehead, do you happen to know how the autofair turned out? I imagine it tanked this year? I'm only about an hour and a half south and we got rain ALL last weekend from Thursday through Monday.

Well, I went to the Auto Fest with the intention of finding and buying a 67-80 C10 shorty of some kind, I had cash in my pocket and was on the hunt. It started by pouring rain on Wed night and from there it never stopped. It would just rain, then drizzle, then stop, and then the cycle would repeat. There were mud holes every where and my feet got soaked. The turn out for vendors was way down from normal. It was a total wash out, no pun intended. ...Wait the pun was intended. LOL

I walked on the whole place on Thur and Fri, but never when back on Sat. I saw a few trucks but everything was either not nice enough for what I was looking for, or way over priced, IMHO. I saw trucks that were, for example, $7500 on Craigslist the week before priced at $11500 at the show. I realize they were fishing, and yes the window prices were remarked down as the days went by.

I will keep looking and if I don't find a truck by spring I will try the Auto Fest again then. I wasn't looking for parts but the picking seemed slimmer than usual, probably due to the foul weather for sure.

That's my report, maybe someone else had a different experience. Tell us about it if you have a few minutes... bummer it's still raining.

[67ChevyRedneck]

Originally Posted by bonehead

Well, I went to the Auto Fest with the intention of finding and buying a 67-80 C10 shorty of some kind, I had cash in my pocket and was on the hunt. It started by pouring rain on Wed night and from there it never stopped. It would just rain, then drizzle, then stop, and then the cycle would repeat. There were mud holes every where and my feet got soaked. The turn out for vendors was way down from normal. It was a total wash out, no pun intended. ...Wait the pun was intended. LOL

You don't have to tell me... my truck has been in the driveway on stands for a few weeks because I started my drop when it was beautiful out...

Did the same here... pour, drizzle, pour, drizzle... never really stopped...

Also, in all seriousness, if I think something looks stupid I *usually* don't bother to comment (I mean, would you poke a sleeping bear just to do it?) But if I see something that I think is unsafe or could cost the owner problems or $ I'll voice my negative opinion.

Then some nights I drunk post just to piss people off.

[prostreetC-10]

Originally Posted by 67ChevyRedneck

Then some nights I drunk post just to piss people off.

LOL....I used to do that before I stopped drinking. I'm wake of the next morning and read what I wrote and thought WTF??????

[BC10]

I have to say that this forum is pretty tame compared to some other ones that I have been a part of, I believe that it is a testament to how awesome most members on here are.

[In The Ten Ring]

Dr. Ablow from Fox News had an article on this just yesterday, if I can find it I will link it.

Basically, social media is leading many Americans to become complete narcissits that cannot fathom being wrong about anything. They pretend to be celebrities on their FB pages and pretend to really have 1,500 friends. Via "deletion" they close themselves off from all who are different and surround themselves with parrots. I have been deleted many times over (usually by liberals but often by women) for daring to disagree. I never use personal insults or profanity at any time on the internet but it's disagreement that people cannot handle.

Now imagine such people in positions of power: a supervisor, teacher, policeman, commander......scary times are ahead.

Myself, I THRIVE on dissent. Only then can I truly begin to evaluate my thinking and either defend my position more strongly or realize my error and learn from it.

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/...rcissists.html