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"I think I could $#!T through a screen door and not touch a wire"
"He ain't the brightest bulb in the lamp, is he?"
If you happen to fart just before someone walks up, and they mention it.....tell them
"Sorry. I wasn't expecting company"
"Man it's hot. I'm sweatin' like an inmate up for parole!"
"That boy couldn't drive a stick-horse.....he'd back up and break the tail"
A mechanic once got me good....while holding his hands out, he asked....
"Are your hands cleaner than mine?"
(Comparing the two, I replied) "Yes sir"
(He goes...) "Good. Scratch my balls for me!"
"You know what it feels like when you have to pee...REALLLLY bad? Good, feel me and see if I need to pee really bad!"
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There once was a member from Puckett.....Who ( fill in the blank blank blank ) bucket
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