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01-04-2005, 07:37 PM
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#1 |
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One of my kids. Cute eh?
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Mitchell, SD
Posts: 1,286
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Ford Jokes
A buddy emailed this to me because I ticked him off when I switched my crewcab over to a F**d. I found some of them sort of funny. I had to clean up some of the language though.
MJ Why do people buy Fords? Because they can't spell Chevrolet. ********************************* You know the best thing Ford did. They circled their problem. ********************************* Hey, did you hear about the 2006 ford F-150's? They've got heated tailgates on 'em so your hands won't get cold ********************************* F- F***** (figure it out yourself) O- Only R- Rolls D- Downhill ********************************* A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had,how many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man, growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to the young man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long,skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Ford truck too"! ********************************* WHAT DO U CALL A FORD WITH TWIN EXHAUSTS??? a wheelbarrow ********************************* Q: How do you double the value of a Ford? A: Put gas in it ********************************* A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!" ********************************* HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards! ********************************* WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FORD AND A SHOPPING CART? A shopping cart sure is a lot easier to push ********************************* HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW SPEED LIMIT SIGNS? MAXIMUM SPEED LIMIT ------65 MILES PER HR. FORDS DO THE BEST YOU CAN
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did. John 3:16 2006 Chevy HHR 2000 Dodge Durango 1985 Jeep CJ-7 1970 Chevy Pickup |
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01-04-2005, 07:47 PM
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#2 |
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The LuvShack Garage
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Maple Grove, TN (West Side)
Posts: 30,475
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 A FEW I HAVE NOT SEEN BEFORE
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Owner/Op: "TN Classic Transport Carriers" The Toy: "Square Vette" 72 Hybrid Blazer Toy Barn: "LuvShack" 40 x 60 x 20 Shop Big Piggy: "Goliath" 07 Kodiak C4500 Lil Piggy:"Maddy" 88 Silverado 3500 Hauler: "Feathers" 14 Aluma 8218T |
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01-04-2005, 07:51 PM
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#3 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Washington State
Posts: 8,834
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Boy am I getting in trouble telling those...
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1970 Chev CST 2003 Harley Fatboy 1975 Chevrolet Step Van 1956 Chev Bel Air 1977 Blazer 2WD For Sale $3000.00 1978 Blazer 2WD For Sale $7000.00 1978 Silverado 2005 Monte Carlo |
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01-04-2005, 07:58 PM
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#4 |
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Smell that burnin' rubber
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Ontario
Posts: 171
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Hey, those are good!
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01-04-2005, 08:46 PM
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#5 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: SW Washington
Posts: 947
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i know a ford boy who will love these
  
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72 Chevy lwb, cowl hood, shaved antenna, shaved bedrails, blazer tank, sidemarker fill, 1pc windows, flowmaster 40's, alpine deck, infinity 6x9's, infinity 4"ers, 2 jl audio 10w0's, grant wheel, keyless entry and alarm, more waiting to be done... |
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01-04-2005, 08:50 PM
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#6 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Kelso,Wa
Posts: 3,637
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I am going to take these to work & give to a ford fanatic & laugh at him cause they are true.
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01-04-2005, 10:06 PM
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#7 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Paradise TX USA
Posts: 1,200
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Here's a few more:
Found On Road Dead For Old Retired Dudes Factory Ordered Recalls Daily
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"Negative people always seem to have a problem for every solution" |
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01-04-2005, 10:15 PM
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#8 |
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The LuvShack Garage
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Maple Grove, TN (West Side)
Posts: 30,475
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F u$ked
O ver R ebuilt D odge
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Owner/Op: "TN Classic Transport Carriers" The Toy: "Square Vette" 72 Hybrid Blazer Toy Barn: "LuvShack" 40 x 60 x 20 Shop Big Piggy: "Goliath" 07 Kodiak C4500 Lil Piggy:"Maddy" 88 Silverado 3500 Hauler: "Feathers" 14 Aluma 8218T |
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01-04-2005, 10:32 PM
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#9 |
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Where's my beer?
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Glen Allen, VA
Posts: 1,768
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I especially like the one about the heated tailgate. I hadn't heard most of them. Definitely going to have to send them to some F##d guys!
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70 C10, shortstep, .30 over 250,Hurst shifted 3 spd parts hauler. Holley 390, Clifford Intake, Header, ported cylinder head, unknown bigger cam. 79 Corvette L82, 4 spd, black, red interior, headers, flowmasters, and unkown bigger cam. '03 Grand Cherokee Laredo, 4.0 4x4 daily driver. 165K miles, and runs great '08 Tahoe LTZ 4x4 155K |
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01-05-2005, 12:06 AM
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#10 |
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Merciless Butcher
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: CC Nevada
Posts: 1,447
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Fu..in
Okies Really Digem
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Your Bought And Sold....I Got Your Soul! |
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01-05-2005, 12:40 AM
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#11 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Butler PA
Posts: 3,034
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found on russian dumps
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67 c-10, 400 SB, TH350, 4.10 gears, Blazer tank,camaro tach, sidemarker fuel fill (soon) WTB: stepside parts, 67 front end parts, 67 small window cab. posi for 3.73 or 4.10 for 12 bolt and 10 bolt. |
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01-05-2005, 01:16 AM
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#12 |
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its all about the +6 inches
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Hilliard Ohio
Posts: 2,693
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When my town car made my sister and me walk home one time, I asked her if she knew what ford ment spelled backwards.
She hit it on the head the first shot. Driver Returns On Foot. |
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01-05-2005, 02:19 AM
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#13 | |
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Still drivin' a Rat Rod
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Monett Missouri
Posts: 4,925
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Quote:
 Thanks for the ammo
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Rusty Member #13872 Instead of saying.....you are a discomfort in the back of my front.....one should be able to say...... you are a pain in the *a$#* 71 GMC LWB 49 Chevy 85 Chevy G20 Check out my website |
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01-05-2005, 02:22 AM
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#14 |
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My other Love
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Castlegar B.C. Canada
Posts: 4,085
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First on race day because its been sitting broken down in the same place since the last race day, For Old Ritired drunks
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 Castlegar B.C.The great white North (Canada Eh!) Hooter_5@hotmail.com First generation Monte Carlo club pictures of my life |
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01-05-2005, 02:31 AM
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#15 |
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graphic designer
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Spokane, Washington
Posts: 841
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i'ma chevy fan for life, but you guys know the meaning of chevrolet, right?
can hear every valve rattle on long extended trips. you gotta admit it's clever! go easy on me
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01-05-2005, 02:45 AM
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#16 |
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Chevys Kick A$$
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Zootown, MT
Posts: 12,699
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fords blow
Here's a couple:
Nothing Runs Like a Ford......Thank God. Q: What do you call a ford at the top of a hill? A: A miracle God created shi* and ford made it move, The people who say they would rather push a Ford than drive a Chevy usually do, Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust, If is wasn't for Ford our tools would be rust. ford built cup holders into the tailgate so u could had some where to put your drink while u pushed it, Buy a Ford and you buy the 'best'. Drive a mile and walk the ‘rest’. Found Outside Reject Depot, Fix Or Repair Daily, Flip Over Read Directions, Four Old Rusted Doors, Failure Of Research & Development HAHAHAHAHAHAH
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01-05-2005, 08:08 AM
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#17 |
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One of my kids. Cute eh?
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Mitchell, SD
Posts: 1,286
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Some of the replies are funnier than the jokes I posted.
Thanks LOL Mike
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did. John 3:16 2006 Chevy HHR 2000 Dodge Durango 1985 Jeep CJ-7 1970 Chevy Pickup |
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01-05-2005, 10:17 AM
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#18 |
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Special Order
  
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mt Airy, MD
Posts: 85,861
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Ford:The Better Idea Chevy:The Best Idea 1993...Dodge:the rules have changed.Yeah,and GM changed them in`88. Alot of people like Fords and Dodges,people love Chevys.That`s why most of your F&D drivers drive newer stuff and GM guys hate to sell theres.Also,it`s easier to sell(and get more money for)an old Chevy.And,THAT`S why F&D guys hate`em.It`s easier to trade-in a ForDodge,then to sell one.So,the cycle goes...good for the repeat drivers stats.
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"BUILDING A BETTER WAY TO SERVE THE USA"......67/72......"The New Breed" GMC '67 C1500 Wideside Super Custom SWB: 327/M22/3.42 posi.........."The '67" (project) GMC '72 K2500 Wideside Sierra Custom Camper: 350/TH350/4.10 Power-Lok..."The '72" (rolling) Tim "Don't call me a redneck. I'm a rough cut country gentleman" R.I.P. ~ East Side Low Life ~ El Jay ~ 72BLUZ ~ Fasteddie69 ~ Ron586 ~ 67ChevyRedneck ~ Grumpy Old Man ~ |
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01-05-2005, 10:45 AM
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#19 | |
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Left Foot Functioning
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Duncan, OK
Posts: 348
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Quote:
SSOW
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69 C10 (#1 son's ride) 72 C20 (Dad's farm truck) 82 K30 (Ex - brush pumper project) |
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