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#1 |
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Bellingham, WA
Posts: 218
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OT- a little light humor!!
The Dam
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter. SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action... We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions. Sincerely, David L. Price District Representative and Water Management Division. Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries: Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr. Price, Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated. I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump! Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office. THANK YOU. RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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#2 |
Registered User
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 412
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Re: OT- a little light humor!!
That's great. I would love to read the state's respnonce to that.
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#3 |
State of Confusion!
![]() ![]() Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Gulfport, MS USA
Posts: 46,900
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Re: OT- a little light humor!!
Ask and yee shall receive....although this letter is a bit off from the original.
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.htm
__________________
Bill 1970 Chevy Custom/10 LWB Fleetside 2010 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner SR5 Double Cab - DD Member of Louisiana Classic Truck Club (LCTC) Bill's Gallery Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God! |
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#4 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Dothan Alabama
Posts: 2,604
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Re: OT- a little light humor!!
Thats about the coolest thing I've read in a long time.
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Kevin 1967 C-10 swb fleetside 1968 C-10 stepside 1999 Z71- sons dd 1999 2wd silverado-my dd 2003 Tahoe- wifes dd |
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#5 |
Designated A-hole!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: South Mississippi
Posts: 36,450
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Re: OT- a little light humor!!
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"If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is!" Being stupid ain't illegal. ![]() We're Still Debt Free Except for the House!!! www.daveramsey.com 70 GMC SWB Stepside project "Green Booger" soon to be 6.0l/4l80e 93 S-10 "Poppaw's Truck" |
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#6 |
Drillin oil on American Soil!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Minot. North Dakota
Posts: 418
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Re: OT- a little light humor!!
now thats funny, i havnt laughed that good in a long time
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Travis 70 Chevy c20 2wd 75 Chevy k10 4x4 parts truck 92 GMC Sierra c1500 2wd DD 99 Chevy Reg Cab Sht Box 1500 2wd 05 GMC Sierra Denali white |
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#7 |
Next!
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Eastern Pa.
Posts: 2,482
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Re: OT- a little light humor!!
Go figure LOL
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86 K30 CUCV M1028A1 86 K30 CUCV M1028a2 dually 86 K30 C&C 6.2 4:56s, 4M, 11,000 gvw, ex fire truck, now lowboy dump More square bodies and CUCVs than I care to admit to 2020 Silverado K3500HD Work truck |
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#8 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 1,365
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Re: OT- a little light humor!!
That is so funny. Poor little beavers.
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#9 |
Next!
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Eastern Pa.
Posts: 2,482
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Re: OT- a little light humor!!
Read it again. That IS the best one yet. If it is true than the State of PA is about as dumb as the State of NJ. The difference is that the beavers in NJ would be picketed for not being in the dam union
__________________
86 K30 CUCV M1028A1 86 K30 CUCV M1028a2 dually 86 K30 C&C 6.2 4:56s, 4M, 11,000 gvw, ex fire truck, now lowboy dump More square bodies and CUCVs than I care to admit to 2020 Silverado K3500HD Work truck |
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